


Anchor

by Alexis_Tenshi



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comic Book Science, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Leonard Snart Lives, M/M, Magic, Red String of Fate, Soul Bond, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-01-17 05:28:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 46,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12358464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexis_Tenshi/pseuds/Alexis_Tenshi
Summary: There are no strings on mewas a lie. Of course it was. Len was a liar and a thief. Len had very carefully tied strings, connected to a very specific person. Strings he had stolen. And those strings would lead him home, in time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Everything that takes place before this fic pretty much follows show canon. Except Barry and Iris were never romantically involved or interested in each other that way. The Savitar storyline still happened, as I imagine Barry would fight to save Iris just as hard either way. The Infantino Street ep did happen and is part of my inspiration for this.

_Be my anchor in this storm._

_Let me tie myself to you,_

_So I can find my way home,_

_In time._

Len wasn’t sure where that poem had come from. It might have been something he’d heard somewhere and gotten stuck in his head. Or he might have made it up himself. Or it might be some combination of the two. A half remembered or misheard lyric that had taken on a new meaning for him. He wasn’t sure. But he liked it. He liked to recite it in his head sometimes, especially now.

He had been there a long time, in the Time Stream. He knew that much. He wasn’t sure how long, but he knew a lot had changed in his absence. That was good, in a way. He didn’t want anyone’s life to stop just because he was gone. But it hurt, too; to feel how much he was missing.

Len did _feel_ it. His sense of what was happening in the timeline that he had been blown out of was tenuous, but it was there. He could feel it, through his tether to his anchor. Though he couldn’t make out specifics.

Time was moving on there, without him. As it should. As he’d planned. Not that it was going exactly to plan. But that was only par for the course, too. Overall, the plan was working and that was the important thing.

Because he’d had a plan. Of course he had. He always had a plan. Didn’t mean the plan always worked. But he always had one when he needed one. This one hadn’t failed him yet. It was just taking time.

\-----------------------------------

He’d realized quickly he’d needed a plan as soon as he’d seen Detective West and Cisco’s faces. Len had suspected something was different as soon as Barry had first turned up looking for him with the Legends in Siberia. But he wasn’t sure if his instinct was right, or Barry’s desperation to save his foster sister’s life accounted for the way Barry was acting.

West and Cisco, however, hadn’t been warned and hadn’t been able to hide their shock at seeing him, once Barry had brought him to Star Labs. Len had lingered in the hall and heard Cisco confirm he was dead in their present.

Len was dead in their present, and Barry had gone back in time to snatch him for this heist. Len was almost flattered. He was the best thief, living _or_ dead, apparently.

So Len had been suddenly tasked with formulating two plans. One: help Barry get the power source from Argus. Two: find a way to change their past; his future. Because Len was not about to accept fate and let himself die, if he could avoid it.

He found out what he could about his death from Star Labs while he was there. They didn’t bother to limit his access to their computers. They were all far too distracted by Iris’ impending fate. And possibly they realized the hypocrisy of what they were doing, on some level.

They’d alter time to save her, but not him. It made sense; he was barely their ally, let alone family. But they were _good_ enough they wouldn’t ask for his help without feeling guilty about it all. So they didn’t take many precautions to keep the truth from him, either. Even if that allowance might have been unconscious on their part. Len still appreciated it and fully intended to use it. They’d expect no less of him, had they been fully paying attention.

So, the Star Labs computers gave him the basic details of his untimely demise. They helpfully had brief reports on all of the Legends missions, both those that Len remembered and those that hadn’t happened for him yet. Someone on the WaveRider in the future must have decided to start sending them, because Len was fairly sure no one currently was in his present.

Len soon realized he was quite close to his own death. It was days away, for him. That didn’t give him much time to plan. But he’d make do somehow. His life depended on it.

Len presented the heist plan to Team Flash. It was simple enough. Though of course the plan included the likelihood of it going off the rails. They agreed, easily enough, and they all dispersed to get ready. Len used that time wisely. No one from Team Flash seemed keen to keep tabs on him, for awhile.

Len had a safe house within walking distance of Star Labs, because of course he did. Never know when he might need a nearby secure place to crash. It was small, but fully stocked with necessities.

Len took off his parka and chucked it carelessly on a nearby chair. He fished out an unused burner phone from a drawer. He wasn’t about to risk using the one he’d taken on his time travel trips with the Legends. He’d left that one at Star Labs, to be safe. From what he’d learned, the Time Masters might be monitoring everything connected to his present Legends and using it to manipulate them.

Len took a few calming breaths before he dialed with the burner phone. He’d been saving this favor for quite a long time. It was a large favor he was owed. An ‘end of the line’ and ‘no other alternatives’ type favor. He still hesitated to call and cash it in. But from everything he’d learned; there was no other way he might get out of his fated future alive, without dooming Mick to die in his place.

He could have just ran, right then. He could give Team Flash the slip, easily enough. Rip and the Legends would try and track him down, though, and they were harder to avoid. Len still considered it. But he didn’t actually want to abandon Barry. He’d agreed to do the Argus job and did genuinely want to go through with that.

Len could have found a way for both he and Mick to ditch the Legends before the Vanishing Point. They only had a few days, but they could have managed it. But then Raymond, apparently, or someone else would die instead. Len hated to admit to himself that he cared about that. But he did.

So Len dialed.

“Ello?”

“John. It’s Leo. The one you owe.”

“Well, it is, isn’t it? The King Thief himself! Though I hear you go by a chillier nickname these days. How are you, mate?”

“Dead, apparently.”

“Been there. It’s bloody inconvenient, isn’t it?”

“It is. Speaking of, I’m calling in that favor.”

“Which one might that be?”

“The one you literally burned into my skin just for an occasion such as this.”

“Ah, yes, well. That bad, is it? Where are you? I could meet you.”

“No time for that. I’ve got a few hours before I’m missed, at the most. I’m not exactly supposed to be alive at the moment.”

“Well then, if you want my help, guess you better get to the explaining.”

Len did. John Constantine listened, not interjecting in any comments until Len was done. Though Len could hear him through the phone, puffing lightly on a cigarette.

The thought of John’s lips was a nice momentary distraction to Len’s worries. Those lips were talented, in more ways than one. Len knew that from personal experience. Neither of them had been looking for anything beyond casual pleasure the last time they’d been together. But it _had_ been damn pleasurable, Len remembered with a smirk.

It had been after a series of jobs that Len had run for John. Before the Flash. After Mick’s accident and their following fight. All the better for this plan. No one besides Len and John themselves should know of their connection.

John had hired Len knowing full well that Len would look into him first. What he found had intrigued Len, as John had expected it to. Intrigued Len enough that he’d stuck with the job when it went south and eventually came out of it with everything John had requested, and a new appreciation for magic. Enough appreciation he accepted John’s offer of owing him a magical favor as payment.

Len hadn’t expected that the contract for the favor would involve John magically branding Len with a rune. It had stung, but nothing Len couldn’t take easily enough. In the end it looked just like any other tattoo, though one very few people could read or recognize. But even the few people that saw him without his clothes didn’t often take note of it. It sat just above Len’s left hip, blending in with his other tattoos and scars, unremarkable looking.

But it had power. It had strong enough magic that John could help him when he really needed it, even without meeting in person. But it still wasn’t simple.

Len couldn’t press it and magically avoid death or injury. It was just a conduit that John could use to activate what was needed, once he knew what that was. It was still necessary to discuss the needed favor with John first, and figure out how it might be accomplished.

Any hope that John could just magic Len out of the Vanishing Point the moment before the Oculus exploded was quickly dashed. Nothing was ever that simple, John confirmed.

“You’re likely not going to be _dead_ -dead after the explosion.” John mentioned. “Not under those circumstances. So it isn’t like I can just go to Hell to fetch you, either.”

“That’s a wonderful thought.” Len winced. “So what kind of dead am I likely to be, exactly?”

“Floating around the Time Stream in little scattered pieces -dead, I’d say. Probably not much more fun than Hell, but trickier for us to fix. The Time Stream isn’t something I have much power over.”

“John…” Len sighed, beginning to lose patience. “If this is building up to you telling me that you can’t do anything for me, save me the suspense.”

“Now, don’t go getting your knickers in a twist, Leo! There’s something we can do. But you’re going to have to play your part, too.”

“You know what I’m capable of.”

“That I do.” John confirmed. “Have you heard of soul strings? Red threads of fate between two people? That sort of thing?”

“Sure. Fine fairy tale, if you’re a romantic.”

“Most fairy tales are true, in one way or another. Usually a darker way than most people have heard.”

“I’m not in love with anyone. And it’s sure as hell that no one is in love with me.” Len mentioned. “If that’s required, we may be out of luck.”

“I _do_ know you, remember? Even if you were in love, you wouldn’t admit it to me.” John scoffed. “But romantic love isn’t needed. Outright love of any kind isn’t needed, though a bit wouldn’t hurt.

“What we need is someone open to you, and you to them, only just the _right_ amount.” John explained. “Someone that you’ll be in physical contact with before your death date. Someone that you can grab the soul strings of, and tie to yours. Weave them together into one strong string connecting the two of you.

“You’ll use them as an anchor in the Time Stream. It’ll keep you in one piece. You’ll be able to pull on the string, draw yourself toward them through the connection, and eventually pull yourself out. Will take you awhile and definitely some effort. But eventually you’ll appear whole and healthy, fully alive, right next to them. If we do this right.”

“And this will hurt them _how_ much exactly?”

“None at all. If you pick the _right_ person. They won’t even be aware of it. Even if you told them, unless they have a lot of latent magical ability, they won’t be able to feel it at all. It won’t affect them at all. _You’ll_ only be aware of the connection and able to use it because my magic will let you.

“But there _is_ a risk.” John cautioned. “You _have_ to pick the _right_ person. Pick someone too close to you and there will be issues. If they know you too well, if you’re too big a part of their lives, it’ll be bad.

“If they will be missing you too much and thinking of you a lot, then they _will_ feel your need when you start pulling. And they’ll give into that need, even unconsciously. Even if you warned then beforehand, they wouldn’t be able to resist. Then they’ll get pulled into the Time Stream with you instead.”

Len winced. He immediately threw aside the tentative plan he’d been forming as John talked. Mick was out of the question. Lisa was out, too.

“On the other hand,” John warned, “you can’t pick someone _not_ close enough to you, someone that doesn’t know you well enough, that you haven’t let in enough. If you pick someone that isn’t open and giving enough toward you, then it won’t work. You won’t be able to pull the thread enough to move anywhere. You’ll be stuck in the Time Stream, tied threads or not.”

Sara was out too, then. She’d been growing to care about Len, to some extent. They had been connecting on the WaveRider. But she wasn’t that open to him yet and not particularly giving. He didn’t see that as a flaw, necessarily. But in this case it meant that she wouldn’t work.

That didn’t leave many people that Len felt a connection to. He mentally went through the other people in his life. For a half second he considered Raymond, but he didn’t feel that close to him. Len knew he hadn’t opened up much to the man. The other Legends presented the same problem. He was choosey about who he let get under his skin and he didn’t regret that. But it made this more difficult.

“It can’t be me, by the way.” John interjected. “The status of my soul is complicated, to begin with.”

Len hadn’t really been considering John, anyway. They got along, but they weren’t that closely connected outside of the favor owed.

That only left one person that Len could seriously consider, that fit all the criteria. They were close, in a way. They were definitely connected. Len felt something toward him, and he knew he felt something back. Though they’d never defined what it was, exactly. They knew each other well enough.

He was giving, almost to a fault. He would miss Len when he was gone, but not too much. He had a lot going on in his life, a lot of people he cared about. He would mourn Len’s passing, but he wouldn’t think about Len too much once Len was gone. Len felt confident in all that, from how well he knew him. And he would owe Len too, soon. Even if Len collected without exactly informing him first. Len was a thief like that.

Len had decided. He would tie his soul string to Barry Allen’s. Barry would be the anchor that Len tethered to, and used to drag himself out of the Time Stream and back to life.

Now, Len had to learn _how_ exactly to do that.

\-----------------------------------------

The Argus heist went off the rails, because of course it did. Len almost got eaten by a shark-man. Barry almost blew his chance to save Iris, to save Len. But in the end, thanks to a surprisingly understanding Argus director, it did all work out.

Barry took Len back to Siberia. They said their good-byes. Len gave Barry some advice. And Len did it. He tied their souls together by their strings.

It was relatively easy. John had given Len the needed magic, via the rune tattoo, and taught Len how to see and tie soul strings. Len was thankfully a quick study and already a master at slight of hand.

Len called on John’s magic and saw Barry’s soul strings, strong and red, emanating from his heart and spread throughout his body. They looked a bit like the diagrams showing a person’s blood veins. They flowed out of him too, all around him, to touch the world that had so much in it that Barry cared about. They looked like countless little tentacles, each waving out from Barry’s body about an inch. 

Len made a move toward Barry’s shoulder and masked the action as if he were brushing off dirt or lint. But instead, Len grabbed the ends of several of Barry’s soul strings, stealing them away toward himself.

In quick skilled movements Len tied Barry’s strings to his own blue ones. Len wove bright blue threads with strong red ones, until he and Barry were connected securely. To anyone looking, it would just appear like Len was fidgeting with his fingers. He finished in plenty of time.

“Take care of yourself, Snart.”

“No strings on me.”

It was a lie, of course it was. But it was also an answer. Len was taking care of himself because he had _Barry’_ s strings on him now.

Barry speed away and Len closed his eyes as the wind gust from the departure hit him. Len felt the thread connecting them move with the speedster. Once tied, the connection would always be there, John had told him. No matter the distance between them. No matter how much Barry and Len moved through time in different directions, or time moved around them. The thread would be there to guide Len back to Barry.

Len felt it now.  Len felt the string connecting them stretch and lengthen as Barry went back to his own time. But it didn’t snap; it didn’t break. It held tight, binding them together.

Len had done it. He took a deep breath and let it out in relief. He might cheat death again. He might survive his fate.

“No strings on me.” He repeated the opposite of the truth to himself.

He rejoined the Legends and hid that anything had changed. But he was aware of his connection to Barry with every breath. He felt the pull of the string with every beat of his heart.

Len felt something of what Barry felt from that point on, too. Not much. But vague impressions. He felt Barry’s desperation, his deep grief and deeper anger, then relief. So much relief, but still sadness.

Len suspected Iris had survived, but someone else had died. He wanted to ask Gideon to check, but he didn’t dare draw attention to his interest. The Time Masters were watching. Len knew that now. Though he couldn’t let on that he knew. He couldn’t do anything to change the events that would lead him to the Oculus.

So Len went through the motions. He did everything as he would have, had he known nothing. Well, mostly everything.

Len ramped up his flirting with Sara. Just a tad. They had chemistry, it was undeniable. They worked well together, enjoyed each other’s company. But Len didn’t really think they’d work in a long term relationship. She seemed to think the same. But flirting was just flirting, and commitment free enough.

Len did it as misdirection for the Time Masters, if they were watching. Let them think Len was making plans for a possible life with Sara. Give them no reason to suspect that Len knew what the future might hold.

Something changed with Barry. He went somewhere. Somewhere that felt further away, much further. Barry’s emotions were a mess. Len had no idea what might have happened. There was no way to find out now. Len was running out of time. He could still feel their connection, so he just had to hope Barry was alright.

Days passed, events happened, and soon enough Leonard found himself in front of the Oculus. He didn’t hesitate. He knocked out Mick, his oldest and dearest friend, and asked him for forgiveness. He slipped Mick his cold gun and his ring, for safe keeping.

No one knew his plan besides John Constantine. As much as Len wanted to share it with Mick, he couldn’t risk that changing something. And if this didn’t work, he didn’t want to give anyone false hope. Mick would mourn him, Mick would miss him terribly. But he was strong; he would move on eventually and find his own way.

His death would hit Lisa the hardest, probably. She hadn’t seen him in some time. She hadn’t gotten to say good-bye. Len wished he could have told her his plan, even more than Mick. But again, he couldn’t risk it. He didn’t want her waiting for him and wondering. But she was clever and resourceful. She would be alright too, eventually.

Sara found her way there. She kissed him good-bye, to his surprise. He did feel something for her. But it was mostly friendly fondness and respect. It might have grown into something else, under the right circumstances. But it was alright that it hadn’t and wouldn’t. Len didn’t mourn it. Just like he knew she wouldn’t mourn him long. That was alright, too. She deserved to move on with her life, find someone that fit her better, and not wait for him.

Because that was what else John had explained to Len. Len’s life would be saved, if it worked. But it might be a long time before he made it back. At least a year. He was connected to Barry; the Barry in 2017. So the soonest Len could come out of the Time Stream was then, where Barry was. So everyone would consider Len dead for at least that long.

But it would possibly be a lot longer. Pulling himself out by the string connecting him to Barry would take time. Time was different in the Time Stream. Len wouldn’t age in the Time Stream. But while he worked his way out, time would be moving outside, too. Barry would be going on with his life, moving forward as time passed for him. There was no way to estimate exactly when Len would make it to Barry.

So it was better if his friends and family thought him dead, Len thought. If and when he made it back, he’d make it up to them. But hope was a powerful thing. He didn’t want any on his behalf to hinder their lives moving forward.

Sara left, taking Mick and Raymond with her. Len was alone until the Time Masters joined him. The explosion would be soon now. Len felt it. He grit and bared his teeth as it came. He was no one’s puppet. The Time Masters didn’t control him, couldn’t stop him. But he did have strings.

“There are no strings on me!”

He loved to taunt and lie. What was life, and death, without some drama?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m using a brief scene from one of the recent Flash comics as inspiration for a part of this chapter. I will specifically credit it in the end notes afterward, to avoid spoiling it. Just mentioning now, in case anyone wonders why it feels like its familiar while reading it.

Len was in one piece, he was thankful for that much. Floating in the Time Stream was unpleasant, but he was in one piece. Not scattered and broken like he might have been. He’d held together, thanks to his tie to his anchor. Thanks to Barry.

Len looked at the strings on him. Bright blue and strong red wrapped together into a thick glowing thread. A thread leading him home. Home to Barry.

Len pulled on that thread, propelling himself forward toward his destination. It was a long journey and only just beginning. Thankfully, he wouldn’t get hungry, tire, or age. That didn’t mean it was easy, though.

It was hard at first. Very hard. Barry felt impossibly far away. Barry’s emotions were a jumbled mess. Len was aware of them, but they felt distant and unreadable. But Len pulled, and he moved forward. Just very, very slowly.

In time, it got easier. Len wasn’t sure how long he’d been pulling when he noticed the change. But Barry felt closer, suddenly. Barry’s emotions were clearer, made more sense, felt more understandable. Len kept pulling and made more steady progress.

Barry felt happy, very happy, and mostly carefree. Len couldn’t guess why. Len doubted being the Flash would ever be that easy. But he found he was glad Barry was content. He just hoped it was real for Barry. He hoped Barry had found a good groove in his life, not fallen prey to some manufactured trick. But then, Len was suspicious by nature, and it felt like an unnaturally abrupt change to him.

There, in the Time Stream with nothing else to focus on…nothing else _safe_ to focus on, anyway…Len spent all his time focused on feeling what Barry was feeling. Wondering about the source of Barry’s emotions was only natural. Not that there was anything Len could do about it, regardless. All he could do was keep pulling the thread and slowly inch closer to the speedster.

Barry’s happy go-lucky feelings ebbed into a more normal range before long. Barry was content often enough, but not so much that Len worried Barry had lost touch with reality. Barry had bad moods. Barry had joyful moods. It felt like the usual flow of a life lived again, to Len. Len kept pulling on the stings connecting them.

This went on for a long time. A very long time. Len didn’t have a real sense of how long exactly. But he thought it might have been years. He tried to not think about that too hard. Just like he tried to ignore everything around him besides the string. He focused on Barry’s emotions, even though he never knew their cause, or what was happening to Barry in each moment in time.

Sometimes Len’s willpower, as strong as it was, wavered. Sometimes he turned his head away from the string and saw things.

He saw Mick, laughing while he burned someone that was screaming for mercy. He saw Mick, laughing while he burned a flaming pile of meat for a meal.

He saw Lisa, left alone with their father and no choice, killing him when Len had failed to. He saw Lisa, on ice skates receiving a golden medal around her neck, with Len clapping in the crowd.

He saw Sara, shot by Rip and bleeding to death. He saw Sara, smiling widely in a white wedding dress, standing next to a woman in a similar dress.

He saw Raymond, screaming and crying as his wife died. He saw Raymond, tiny and riding a rat like a horse.

He saw Jax, hot wiring a car, and then crashing it as the cops chased him. He saw Jax, merging to become Firestorm, but with someone that wasn’t Stein.

He saw Barry in a bow tie and glasses, tailing someone dangerous and doing a horrible job of it. He saw Barry, his face half scarred, building some kind of monstrous looking suit.

He saw himself as an electrical engineer, fixing an elderly lady’s home wiring, then accepting cookies she offered him. He saw himself, in a sleeveless jacket, ice covering his hands and arms, and ice shooting from his fingers.

They were all possibilities. Endless possibilities. The Time Stream flowed through them all. Some of them may have happened in his timeline while he was gone. Some of them might yet happen. Some of them never could, or at least he hoped that was true.

He couldn’t let himself consider it all. He’d be lost forever if he did. It would be so easy to do that; just stay there and watch; let the possibilities play out around him. Far too easy.

He refocused on the thread and moving forward. No way to know how much time had passed while he’d been distracted looking. Did Len want out of here, or didn’t he? Did he want to be back as an active participant in the world, or just stuck in the Time Stream watching possibilities as a spectator? He scolded himself. He knew what he wanted and how to get there. It was simple enough. It just took time. He strengthened his resolve and again focused on feeling Barry.

Barry was happy. Barry was hurt. Barry was hungry. Barry was horny. And other emotions not starting with the letter _h_. Len snickered to himself. It was a lame joke. But he had to keep himself entertained somehow. He’d go crazy otherwise.

There in the Time Stream, all Len had was his connection to Barry, and the possibilities that Len couldn’t allow himself to look at. Barry was Len’s only company, his only constant. So Len focused on Barry and let himself wonder about the causes of Barry’s emotions. It was a puzzle he could never solve, at least not until he made his way home and saw Barry again in person. But it was something to focus on and a much needed distraction.

Len’s entire continued existence was thanks to Barry. He could admit that much to himself. So it only made sense that Len would grow more and more attached to Barry, as he moved toward the speedster through the Time Stream. Len had known that was a possibility. He would have known it even if John hadn’t warned him about it. But what was his alternative? He either let himself die, or he let his feelings for Barry grow.

Feelings could be squashed, Len told himself. Once he was back where he belonged, Len could suppress any excess feelings he’d developed in the Time Stream. All he would have to do was see that Barry didn’t want him around, didn’t need him, and Len would move on and get over it. Len was strong, he could manage it. Better than being dead, for certain.

Unless that _wasn’t_ what he found once he got back to Barry. If Barry wanted him around, Len would…Len cut himself off. That line of thinking was dangerous. Developing feelings under these conditions in the Time Stream was unavoidable. But letting his thoughts go down that path was just encouraging those feelings to deepen even further. There was no need for that. That was just setting himself up for hurt.

So Len pushed his own feelings aside and once again focused on Barry’s. Len kept inching along the thread, slowly getting closer and closer to his destination. Closer to Barry.

Eventually, moving forward got easier. At first, Len was relieved. Of course easier, faster progress was good, he thought. But then he worried about the cause.

Barry was depressed and lonely. Barry felt abandoned and unworthy. Barry was tired and hurting, physically and mentally. For a long time now, too long Len realized, Barry hadn’t felt much else. Barely any happy moments. What was wrong?

Was that why it was easier to move forward? Because Barry felt less keeping him connected to where he was? Would Len’s continued pulling risk dragging Barry into the Time Stream with Len?

Len paused. He wondered. He worried. He didn’t want to risk Barry. He’d not wanted to risk _anyone_ he cared about, in this endeavor to save his own life against fate. But now, _especially_ not Barry. Not after these feelings Len had developed for Barry that he couldn’t deny to himself.

But it should be safe, Len thought. John had said as long as the person on the other end of the thread wasn’t missing Len too much, it ought to be fine. Barry might be lonely and longing for companionship. That might account for why Len’s progress was easier. But there was no reason to suspect that Barry was missing _Len_. Len had been dead a long time now, to Barry. Barry probably rarely thought about Len at all anymore. At least, that was what Len told himself. But he still worried.

Len pulled forward, and worried. On the other end of the strings, Barry worried too. Much more than he used to. Len hoped he got to Barry soon, so he could find out why.

\-------------------------------

Barry’s body hurt, so much. A whole body, bone-deep, ache that seemed like it would never end. Barry hadn’t hurt like this since he’d had his powers. He’d hurt _worse_ , he’d admit that. But his worst pains were always followed by the feeling of healing. With his powers, as soon as he got hurt and got over the initial shock, his healing kicked in. Not anymore. Not the way it used to.

Ever since he’d gotten infected by the Negative Speed Force, Barry’s enhanced healing hadn’t been working like it used to. Now it took longer to heal, a lot longer. Not quite normal human speed, but not that much faster either.

Barry’s heart hurt, so much. He felt abandoned and alone, so alone. But what right did he have to ask anyone to stay, or come back? They all had their own lives. They’d already given so much to Barry and his self appointed cause to protect this city. Barry and his powers were a danger to them, now more than ever.

The Negative Speed Force was unpredictable, volatile, and dangerous. He’d wrought almost as much damage on the city that night as he’d stopped, just by using his speed. Every time he used his speed since the infection, the negative energy built up around him. That night it had literally exploded in Barry’s wake, taking nearly a full city block with it.

Miraculously, no one had been reported as seriously injured. Though the property damage alone would impact hundreds of people’s lives. Much more than if he’d just let the gang of thieves get away with what they were stealing that night. And if Barry kept using his powers, it was just a matter of time until someone’s life was collateral damage. That was just unacceptable. If Barry couldn’t find a way to fix this, he might have to hang up his suit for good.

His suit…which was currently in tatters around his body, barely covering up the important bits. He’d had to walk back to his apartment at normal person speed, trying to keep to the shadows and avoid curious eyes. He’d been successful only because everyone was distracted by the destruction. But every step had hurt, his entire body aching and screaming at him to stop.

Barry finally reached his apartment and went inside, barely noting the mess. He’d stopped cleaning it once there was no one left around that ever visited him. Clothes littered the floor, old pizza boxes were piled on the table, and dirty coffee cups crowded the shelves. There might even be a bloody handprint or two he’d left on the walls. Barry didn’t care. Who would see it besides him? He just didn’t have the energy anymore to clean only for himself.

Barry checked his phone out of habit, to see no one had called or messaged him. He wished he’d broken the habit by now. He made his way to his tiny bathroom, carelessly laying the phone on the closed toilet lid. He turned the tap on to fill the tub with cold water.

He should get ice to put in the tub, too. He knew he should. An ice water bath was best for the full body ache his muscles were currently screaming from. But going to get the ice and getting it into the bath just seemed like far too much effort at the moment. He’d do it in a minute, he told himself.

But before he could make himself listen, Barry was just getting into the tub as it was. And as _he_ was, not even bothering to take his ruined Flash suit off first. He sat back in the cold water and sighed, feeling defeated in so many ways.

He’d taken it for granted for a long time, his enhanced healing. That, and his team; his friends, people there to help pick him up and keep him going. He’d thought he could do it on his own. He’d been the Flash long enough. He was smart enough. He was powerful enough. They wanted to move on, have normal lives; or have super-lives based elsewhere for any number of reasons. Who was he to stop them? They’d done enough for him. He’d be fine on his own, he’d thought.

But he’d taken for granted how much their input meant to him. Ideas for solving problems, and support when he felt his lowest. It was all so, so much harder without that.

And then he’d gotten infected with the Negative Speed Force, just making it all even more difficult. How did any hero do this solo? Barry wondered.

He should ask Batman sometime what his secret was. How he dealt with a particularly hard night. All his Robins had moved on. Oh yeah, Barry remembered then; Bruce still had Alfred, his butler. Still had someone there to help him when he was hurt, reassure him when he messed up. Someone there waiting for him when he came home every night. Barry had no one like that anymore.

He still had people that cared about him. Of course he did, he reminded himself. But they weren’t _there._ He would have to reach out if he wanted their help, he would have to ask, interrupt their lives, and feel like he was a burden. They just weren’t automatically _there_ anymore.

Barry had underestimated just how hard it was to call for help. Especially when it was just that he _hurt_ , not a national crisis. It was something he ought to be able to deal with on his own, without bothering them. But it still hurt. He still felt more alone than ever before. And then he felt guilty for wishing he had people to share his trouble with. And he felt like a failure for not finding a solution yet on his own.

Even Star Labs wasn’t there anymore, destroyed months ago after everyone else had left. Barry hadn’t felt like it was worth rebuilding it this time, just for himself.

So Barry was alone, in his dirty little apartment, in his tiny tub, in his tattered Flash suit, hurting and feeling useless. He really should have gotten ice to put in the bath. Just the tap cold water wasn’t doing much of anything to sooth his aches.

It was then, sitting in his tub, feeling lonely, thinking of ice and wanting cold to ease his pains; that Leonard Snart suddenly appeared in front of Barry. Captain Cold himself, looking almost exactly like the last time Barry had seen him; gorgeous in tight black pants and a leather jacket. His ice blue eyes were looking intently at Barry, as if with deep longing.

Barry thought, all things considered, that it wasn’t surprising his immediate belief was that he was hallucinating.

\--------------------------------------

“You’ve looked better.”

As first words out of his mouth after finally being free of the Time Stream, those weren’t the best, Len thought. But he was reeling.

He’d been feeling Barry’s emotions for so long. They had been the one constant, besides the thread, while Len worked tirelessly to get home. Now, they were gone. They’d abruptly cut off as soon as Len stepped out of the Time Stream and found himself in front of Barry.

Len had known that would happen. John had explained it to him. As soon as Len’s journey through the Time Stream was complete and he’d reached Barry, the magic spell John had cast on Len would end. Len would no longer be able to feel the connection to Barry through their tied soul strings. They still _would_ be tied, but Len would no longer be able to sense or see it. Just like any other non-magic user.

The favor Len had asked of John was done, so was the spell. Len had expected it. But he hadn’t expected to miss it so much.

Well, there was no use mourning it, Len told himself. He’d lived his entire life without sensing anyone else’s emotions. He’d continue his life in the same way.

Len wasn’t fool enough to pretend that nothing had changed, though. He felt closer to Barry now than he ever had before. He wanted to help the speedster, now more than ever. But even before the Oculus, Len would never have just left Barry in the state he clearly was in now. Not without at least knowing Barry’s backup was on the way.

Barry hadn’t responded to Len yet. He was just staring at Len, blinking at him as if he didn’t believe Len was real. He probably didn’t. That was what happened when everyone thought you were dead.

“You’ve called someone to come help you, then?” Len asked, gesturing to the nearby phone.

Len could have been nicer about this, he mentally chided himself. But he wanted to get his bearings, if he could, before explaining himself. If they were about to have company, Len wanted to be prepared.

“No one to call.” Barry said it like it hurt, a lot.

“Caitlin?” Len tried.

“In London, with Julian.”

“Cisco?”

“On Earth 19, with Cindy.”

Len had no idea who Cindy was, and only a vague recollection of them mentioning a Julian. But that was enough information to assure him that neither were on their way. Even if Barry hadn’t called them, Len had thought they might turn up. But not now.

“The West’s? Iris? Wally?” Len tried next.

“Wally’s on Earth 2 with Jesse and Harry.” Barry answered. “Iris and Scott got married and moved to Opal City when the paper offered them positions there. Joe retired and moved there too, after Iris had the baby.”

Len narrowed his eyes at Barry. The Flash was reciting all this information as if he’d been telling himself the same thing, over and over. As if reminding himself why he shouldn’t contact any of them. That was probably why he was answering Len’s questions so easily. Barry thought he was just talking to himself. He didn’t believe Len was actually there.

There were more people Len could ask about, but that was enough for now. He felt fairly certain no one was about to burst in and demand Len explain himself.

“Alright, Barry. Well, _I’m_ here. What do you need?”

At that, Barry started laughing somewhat hysterically. Len worried the speedster might be worse off than Len had realized.

“That’s why you _are_ here!” Barry giggled. “I kept thinking about needing ice. So here’s Captain Cold, in my bathroom. Even though he’s been dead for ten years.”

At that, Len’s heart stopped. _Ten_ years?! Ten _years_?!?!

Len sat down on the floor, on the little blue carpet Barry had over the porcelain tiles, and put his head between his legs. He hadn’t consciously decided to do so. He gripped his knees with shaking hands. In his head, _‘ten years’_ just kept echoing back and forth. He tried to focus on his breathing.

He’d suspected he might have been in the Time Stream for years. But he had been thinking maybe two or three, five at the most. Ten was…ten was a lot to take in.

Ok, he told himself, he just needed a plan. That was all. It was just time for a new plan.

Except it had been _ten years_ , and Len had no idea what the world was like now. He’d been to the future with the Legends. But this was different. This wasn’t a mission. This wasn’t a visit. There was no Gideon to tell him what to expect. There was no past for him to return to afterward; to fit back into.

He’d come out of the Time Stream here, so _this_ was where he belonged now. This was where the person he was connected to was. This was where the Barry he was connected to was now. This was Len’s time now, too. This was where he was going to need to stay. John had explained that much. The soul strings connection that had brought him there would be enough to let him safely settle in whatever time he reappeared in.

But if he tried to go back earlier afterward; resettle in an earlier time instead, via the Legends or other means of time travel, it would upset the balance of the timeline. It would send powerful forces after him to kill him to correct it. Much more powerful than the Time Masters had been, John had said. So Len was stuck wherever, whenever, he came back to. He belonged in the time the thread had led him to, moving forward, no other time. It had seemed a fair trade to Len, at the time.

But _ten_ years! He’d missed ten _years_!! Anything could have happened in the world in that time! It might be completely different than anything he knew or recognized.

This was his life now. But he knew nothing about it. He could step outside and there might be…

No, Len couldn’t do that. He couldn’t let his mind start focusing on possibilities and not reality. That was no way to live here, as sure as it was no way to live in the Time Stream.

He was _alive_. He’d wanted to be alive and he _was_. That had to be enough, no matter what else had changed that he didn’t know about.

He just had to focus on what he _did_ know. He knew Barry was there. He was with _Barry_. Even if Barry didn’t realize the reality of it yet. So Len would keep using Barry, as he had been, as his anchor. Even if he couldn’t feel Barry’s emotions anymore, or see the thread connecting them. Len could still latch onto Barry and let Barry be his guide here, for now. Len could allow himself that.

Len looked up to find Barry staring at him. Barry was in his Flash suit, though it was torn and tattered, showing his bruises underneath. Even the cowl was still on, though some of Barry’s soft brown hair was poking through a ripped section. He didn’t look much older than the last time Len had seen him. But Barry had always had a baby face. He was lying in the tub, apparently in cold water that he wished was colder.

Ok, Len told himself. This, he understood. This was no different than if it had been ten years ago. This, he could do something about.

Len stood, thankful his legs didn’t shake, and went out into the apartment to look for ice for Barry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene of Barry in the tub, and a few of his thoughts during, is taken from Flash # 29 of the current run. You can see the specific page [here](https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/winged_kame/695039/63863/63863_original.jpg). The Negative Speed Force and it’s affects on Barry is also inspired by the current comics, though very loosely. I’m just using it for background and not planning on it being a major focus of the fic. So how exactly it works and happened will likely remain somewhat vague.


	3. Chapter 3

Barry jolted awake, splashing water around himself. He must have fallen asleep, in his tub. But then, why was the water suddenly much colder? Enough that his aches had lessened somewhat, even. He looked down and saw countless ice cubs floating in the bath. Had he somehow sleep walked and gotten them? But that seemed unlikely.

Barry swallowed hard, turned his head, and found Leonard Snart standing next to his tub. Snart looked decidedly unimpressed by Barry. To be fair, Barry was in a mangled Flash suit, clearly beaten up, dripping wet in his tub, and apparently hallucinating his long-dead nemesis. It just fit that Barry would be a disappointment, even to a figment of his imagination.

“Hope that’ll do. Since I parted with my cold gun some…decade ago, apparently. Your place is a pig sty, but there was ice in the fridge, at least.”

“Snart…you…you’re dead.”

“Yes, so I _heard_. Thanks for that, by the way. Gave me just enough time to plan a way _out_ of it. Didn’t expect it to take ten years…but well, better late than never. And you can call me Len.”

Barry shook his head, trying to dispel the hope that was threatening to spring up in him. He wanted it to be true, of course he did. It _did_ happen. People came back from the dead, sometimes. Especially when the cause of their death was something supernatural. But it’d been _ten_ years!

And even if Sna…Len had come back, somehow, why come to _Barry_? And right when Barry was feeling so alone, and wishing for ice? No, it was too much of a coincidence to even consider. Barry had to stop this hope building in him before it took hold and he was hurt worse when it wasn’t true.

“Whatever I call you, you’re still dead.”

“Ok, Barry, fine. If I’m dead and you’re imagining this, there’s no reason for you to mind me helping you out of that Flash suit then, right? Maybe help you clean up a little? Scoot forward and let me sit behind you and wash your hair?”

Barry blinked at the Len apparition. Normally he would protest, random odd fantasy projection of his mind or not. But at the moment he was too tired, sore, and lonely. And that sounded way, way too good to pass up.

“Ok, Len, sure.”

\---------------------------------

It was Len’s turn to blink in surprise. He hadn’t been serious. Just teasing to try and get a rise out of Barry. But either Barry had lost a lot of his modesty over the last ten years, or he really was completely convinced that Len wasn’t real. Either way, Barry was still clearly a naïve trusting kid. No matter his age.

This could so easily be a trap. Not even necessarily by Len, either. Any of Barry’s enemies could have set something like this up to take Barry by surprise while he was vulnerable. It was amazing Barry had survived this long without anyone looking out for him.

Well, he had Len now to watch his back. At least for…awhile. Len would figure out how long, later. For now, Len would be as good as his word, as far as Barry was concerned.

Len helped Barry out of the Flash suit, not hiding how his eyes lingered. He’d never seen Barry naked before. It was just as impressive a sight as he’d imagined. Marred a good deal by the number of bruises littering Barry’s body. Shouldn’t he be healing faster than this? Maybe more that had changed in the last ten years. Len set the destroyed suit aside and helped ease Barry back in the tub.

Len washed Barry as he’d promised. Gently running a soapy washcloth over his obviously sore and tender body. Not lingering, not teasing, just caring. Len had let himself look, but that was all. It wasn’t the time for anything else, Len thought. Barry’s eyes followed his movements, but they seemed dazed. The speedster seemed no more convinced than before that Len was anything but his own mind playing tricks. Barry was starting to fall back asleep, despite the cold water.

Len changed his plan, then. As tempting as undressing and joining Barry in the tub was, Len threw away the idea. It had felt like fun flirting that Barry might respond positively to, at first. Or if he responded negatively, Len would back off, and at least it would have worked to snap the speedster out of his daze. It felt wrong now. This reaction wasn’t positive _or_ negative, just detached. Barry wasn’t exactly in a consenting mind-set, even just for some shared bathing.

Washing Barry’s hair though, that was a temptation Len thought he could still give into. It looked like it needed it. So Len directed Barry to scoot a different way, so Barry’s back was facing out of the tub. Barry didn’t protest. Len could wash Barry’s hair this way, without joining him in the tub.

Len did so, kneeling on the floor and using the shampoo Barry had nearby. It was a familiar scent. It brought back memories of the last time Len had been this close to Barry; when the speedster had run through time with Len in his arms after the Argus heist. Barry must have never changed brands.

Len took his time, gently massaging the shampoo into Barry’s scalp. Len kept his own hair short because it was practical and safer in a fight. But he admitted he did like playing with other people’s hair. His long, skilled fingers were good at it, too. He had Barry sighing and leaning back into him within seconds.

Len finished, and rinsed Barry’s hair. Barry was dozing off again. He was pliant under Len’s hands. He let Len pull him out of the tub, towel him off, and direct him to bed. He seemed deep asleep, just moments after hitting the mattress. Len considering trying to dress him in some sleep clothes, but it seemed a wasted effort. So he just wrapped Barry up in blankets and let him sleep.

Now what? Len let himself wonder. He could sleep too, maybe. Technically he hadn’t slept in ten years. But he felt too wired to. His anxiety at not knowing anything about his surroundings was too intense to relax.

Well, Barry had a smart phone and a computer that Len had noticed. They didn’t look that different from the tech Len was used to. Might as well see if the kid was trusting enough to leave either unlocked, so Len could do some research on this new time he’d gotten himself alive in.

\------------------------------

When Barry woke up the next morning, Leonard Snart was still there. Also, Barry’s apartment was now neat and tidy; practically spotless. Barry blinked in shock and confusion as he looked around. There was breakfast on the table, next to the smirking form of Len; wearing the same clothes as the night before. Looking very appealing, too; both the food and Len.

Len had apparently cleaned Barry’s apartment and made Barry breakfast. All that, in addition to helping Barry in the tub the previous night; with the ice, and getting out of the Flash suit, and even washing Barry’s hair. A lot of kindness for a man that used to be a wary ally, at best. A lot of activity for a man that’d been dead for ten years.

Barry blushed deeply, as he had to begin to admit to himself that he might not be dreaming this entire thing, after all. He felt clear headed now, the worst of his injuries well on their way to healing. Sna…Len was still there. Barry was a bit mortified at his own behavior, as well as the state of his apartment. At least Barry had put clothes on before leaving his bedroom, to save himself further embarrassment.

 “Feeling better this morning, I see.” Len smirked at him. “Here, eat, before you hurt yourself with embarrassment and confusion. I went to the trouble of making omelets with what little you had in this kitchen. You ought to appreciate it before you start peppering me with questions.”

Barry obeyed because taking some time to make sure he was fully awake seemed good. Barry ate, and it _was_ good. Especially considering he knew how little Len had had to work with. No one had cooked for Barry in a very long time. Barry had been surviving on mostly take-out, and the few simple things he could manage to motivate himself to make, for a very long time. Why bother to cook much if he was the only one to ever eat it?

Barry and Len ate in silence, stealing glances at each other every so often. Barry got some comfort from the fact that Len was eating, too. Hallucinations didn’t eat, right?

Hope surged in Barry’s chest again. But he pushed it down. Even if this _was_ Len come back to life, it didn’t mean anything would change for Barry. It didn’t mean Len would stay anywhere near Barry. No one else had. Why should Len devote any of his newfound life to Barry, of all people?

And besides, Barry might still be hallucinating the entire thing. He still had next to no idea how the Negative Speed Force worked. He had no real idea how the infection was affecting him.

But it hadn’t involved any hallucinations before this. And hallucinations rarely cooked and cleaned either, right? Barry couldn’t be that far gone that he was doing it all himself and imagining it was Len, right? Or was that just wishful thinking and Barry had truly lost it?

Barry’s thoughts had begun to circle in confusion by the time he was done eating. He didn’t know what to believe.

“How can I prove it to you?” Len asked, probably guessing Barry’s doubts from his expression. “How can I prove I’m real? Prove that I’m the same man that helped you steal that power source from Argus ten years ago, and took the knowledge to save myself from the Oculus with me too?”

“I don’t even know!” Barry sighed. “I guess…to start, you could interact with other people? If I could see them see you, react to you, I’d know it wasn’t just me. We could go to _Jitters_. You could get us coffee.”

“Are you asking me out for coffee, Barry? And demanding I pay? Didn’t expect you to be a cheap date!”

Len was grinning widely and Barry couldn’t resist laughing. It might have bothered him before, a long time ago; being teased like that. But now, he loved it. He’d missed it. There was no cruelty behind it, or in Len’s eyes, only good natured mischief. He hoped this was real. He couldn’t keep denying that hope. Barry wanted this to be real.

“Now, normally I wouldn’t mind treating you.” Len continued. “But at the moment my only options include: either lifting someone’s wallet on the way there, which I know you disapprove of. Plus, from what I’ve read online, carrying cash isn’t that common these days and most credit cards have id photos on them. So it might be useless anyway. Or…you can lend me some money and I’ll repay you at a later date. I’ll still make the transaction so you’ll have your proof.”

Barry laughed again, shaking his head.

“Ok, fine, what the hell. I can risk losing just enough money for two coffees.”

“Trust me, Barry, if I was to steal from you, it would be something _much_ more important than money.”

There was a glint in Len’s eyes as he said that. As if he’d already stolen something much more important from Barry.

Barry found he didn’t even care. If he got Len back, even just for however long he planned to stay, he could steal whatever he wanted from Barry. It would be worth it, just for this distraction, just for this company. Just for getting to see Len look at him like this; like Barry was actually important to him. Barry hadn’t felt like he was very important to _anyone_ lately. So he let himself hope.

Barry gave Len money. They went to _Jitters_ and Len bought them coffee. The barista interacted with Len perfectly normally. Barry let Len decide their order, and waited watching from a nearby table. Len came back with some pink strawberry-sakura iced coffee sweetness for Barry, and a chocolate-drenched marshmallow iced mocha for himself. It fit them, while being not at all what Barry would have imagined Len would have bought. Barry guessed it was time he started believing Len was real.

Real didn’t mean _his_ Len, though. It didn’t mean this was the Len that had died in the Oculus explosion. Barry had met other men that were Leonard Snart, from other Earths, since then. This could be another one, trying to trick Barry for some reason; for some gain. But Barry couldn’t imagine what that might be.

And Barry _did_ have instruments in his apartment that registered and warned him when a breach between Earths occurred. Barry checked his phone, connected to those instruments, finding there hadn’t been a recent breach.

That didn’t mean Barry trusted this Len was telling him the truth. But it was enough that Barry would listen to him. It was enough that it added to the building hope inside Barry.

They sat in silence for awhile, sipping at their iced coffees. Public wasn’t the best place to discuss this, and they both knew it. Even as busy as _Jitters_ was, there were always curious people that might overhear something. But it was nice to just stay there awhile and take it in. It was reassuring to see people see Len; not react to him as anything out of the ordinary. They clearly _saw_ him. It wasn’t just Barry.

It was nice, just being there with someone. Barry realized that he hadn’t just sat in a public place with anyone in months. Every time he’d come to _Jitters_ , he’d rushed in and out. He almost wished they hadn’t just had breakfast at his apartment, so he could get them something to eat and just sit there together longer.

Barry watched Len, who was watching the people around them. Barry wondered what he was looking for. Then Len looked back at Barry; locked those gorgeous blue eyes on him, and Barry swallowed at the intensity of that gaze. He wanted Len to keep looking at him, _just_ him.

Barry blushed at the thought and looked away. Nothing had been proven yet. This might not be the Len he claimed to be. Barry had to be cautious.

“We should get back to my apartment to talk, I guess.” Barry stumbled over his words a bit. “Unless there’s somewhere else you’d rather go?”

Len shook his head, smiling slightly at Barry.

“It’s been ten years, Barry. My safe houses are long past safe. Your apartment is….convenient for me. Especially after all the effort I put into cleaning it. I might as well get to use it.” Len teased, but then got more serious. “I’d like to continue to impose on you, if you’ll let me.”

Barry hadn’t exactly meant it like that. He meant that surely Len had someone else he’d rather go see, reunite with, than Barry. If this was really the Len that Barry hoped, that was. Barry wanted proof and answers to how Len was back, of course he did. But he’d understand if Len wanted to delay giving them to him to go reunite with others, if this was really that Len.

Barry realized he had no idea where Len’s sister or Mick Rory were these days, or what they were doing. Did Len? Surely finding them would be more important to Len than convincing Barry he was the same Len that Barry had known.

But at the same time, Barry could understand wanting to delay those reunions. He could understand Len might need time to get his bearings first. If Len had really been gone ten years, of course he’d need time to resettle into the present.

If Len wanted to stay with Barry while he did that, Barry would happily accept Len into his life. Barry was just so lonely. And truth be told, he’d always enjoyed Len’s company, even when they were fighting as the Flash and Captain Cold. But Len had never exactly asked Barry’s _permission_ for being part of his life before, either. It was new and Barry didn’t really know how to respond.

“I…uh…” Barry stumbled again. “You’re welcome at my place, of course. Now that the couch isn’t covered in dirty clothes, thanks to you, it’s a decent place to sleep. Not that a lack of inviting you has ever stopped you before. Someday maybe you’ll help me upgrade my home security to make that more of a challenge.”

“That would be my pleasure, Barry.” Len smirked. “And I appreciate the invitation of a place to stay, regardless.”

Barry wasn’t ready for how warm his heart felt at the prospect of Len going home with him. He was lonely, he’d known that. But he hadn’t expected _Len_ to feel like he could be the perfect person to fill the hole Barry felt inside. Yet he did, somehow.

So they walked back to Barry’s apartment together. Once there, Len told Barry where he’d been the past ten years, and how he’d found his way home.


	4. Chapter 4

When Len was done talking, Barry made a phone call. He put it on speaker so Len could hear, too. But he offered no explanation. Len raised his eyebrows at him, but didn’t question him.

“Ello?”

“Hi, uh, John? It’s Barry Allen. I have a question for you. Well, probably a series of questions, actually. I can give you the usual exchange rate for information, or owe you, whatever you prefer.”

“Well hello to you too, mate! Still shit at negotiating, I see. You’re bloody lucky I’m not one to take advantage.”

Nearby, Len snorted under his breath at that, as if he didn’t believe it.

John Constantine might indeed take advantage of some people that didn’t negotiate with him properly, Barry thought. But he’d never done wrong by Barry. They weren’t exactly close, but the two of them had a decent working relationship. They’d first met about six years ago, when Team Flash dealt with a string of magic related murders and needed help. Oliver had introduced them. John had never mentioned Len.

“Ok…so…did you, about ten years ago, help Leonard Snart to steal and tie soul strings together to make a thread to lead him out of the Time Stream he’d be stuck in after the Oculus exploded?”

There was silence on the other end of the line, and Barry realized that question might not have come out that coherently. Next to Barry, Len smirked, clearly enjoying this.

“Well, now, mate.” John answered. “I’ve done a lot of things for a lot of people. I’m not as young as I once was. I can’t be expected to remember all of them, especially a decade later.”

Barry felt his face fall in disappointment. He’d so hoped for easy confirmation of all of this. He so wanted to trust this Len. But he also didn’t want to be played like a fool.

Len was smirking more, like he found the whole thing hilarious now, which did nothing to increase Barry’s confidence. Len had seemed so sincere when he was explaining what he’d been through. But now…

“It’s alright, John. It’s me. I’m here.” Len spoke up then, “I waive the confidentiality agreement in regards to the aforementioned deal _only_ , and to _Barry_ , only. Passcode: shard, cream, gun, 861957, skate.”

Barry blinked at Len in surprise. Len smirked again, but it was softer. Barry felt himself relax a little. Clearly, Len’s dealings with John went a little differently than Barry’s. Which only made sense. Barry’d never felt the need to try and hide his deals with John enough to have an agreement like that.

“Leo! Great to hear your voice, mate! Been a long time!”

“It has. How have you been, John?”

“Well enough. Better, since I felt one of my longer term deals finally reach its conclusion yesterday.

“So yes, Barry, to answer your question; yes, I did help Leonard with what he needed to survive the Oculus and get back here.”

Barry inhaled in relief and nodded. That was great. But it wasn’t quite enough yet.

“Can you confirm that this; the man sitting across from me and talking to you, is the same Leonard that went to the Oculus? _Our_ Len, the one from _this_ Earth and timeline?”

“I already know he is.” John answered; his voice confident. “I can do a minor spell to ease your worries, though, if he agrees.”

“What does it entail?” Len asked, his eyes narrowing.

“Nothing dangerous, relax! Just show him the rune I gave you.”

Len frowned, but obeyed. He pulled up his shirt a bit and Barry leaned over to look. He tried to not be distracted by Len offering to show him more skin than he ever had before. It wasn’t like Len was taking his shirt off or even pulling it up that far. Still, Barry liked the easy way Len just let Barry look. Barry liked the idea of Len being that comfortable with him.

There, above Len’s left hip was a small series of symbols that Barry recognized as runes. Though he couldn’t read them. Suddenly they glowed orange and Len hissed in obvious pain, his entire body going tense.

“My magic is burning in the runes I gave Leonard. If you can see it, that means he’s the same man I put them on.” John spoke up over the phone.

“Ok, ok, it’s him, stop it!” Barry snapped.

The runes stopped glowing and Len’s body relaxed. Len panted slightly, clearing catching his breath afterward. Barry felt guilty. He hadn’t thought to ask if this would hurt Len. He should have.

“It’s alright, Barry. I’m fine. No worse than a cigarette burn.”

Barry scowled. That wasn’t the point. And he hated that Len had experienced a catalog of pain so extensive that he could easily compare it like that.

“Thanks, John. That’s all I needed. Email me what you want in exchange and I’ll get it to you.” Barry grumbled, suddenly ready to be done dealing with the sorcerer.

Barry was about to end the call without even giving John time to respond, when Len raised a hand to stop him. Barry paused, again feeling guilty. Of course Len might want to talk to John more.

John probably had a lot more to offer Len than Barry did. Clearly, John had helped Len when Barry hadn’t even tried. When he’d been too afraid to screw up the timeline to even _offer._ John had saved Len’s life, and Barry had done nothing.

Len had probably just been biding his time with Barry until he could find someone better able to help him now, too. He didn’t need Barry. He wouldn’t want to stay. Barry was a fool for hoping otherwise.

“Is there a way to untie our soul strings, now that I’m back?” Len asked, to Barry’s surprise.

Of course, Barry thought. Why would Len want to be connected to Barry at _all_ now?

“There is.” John answered. “But it won’t come cheap. I don’t have that kind of energy to spare on something so pointless, since neither of you are affected by the connection now. There’s always something I could use that needs stolen. But it won’t be an easy job. It’ll be something befitting your status as a master thief.

“Sure you want to owe me _that_ right now, Leo? Sure you want back in the game so soon?”

Len’s expression showed obvious distaste at the idea, before he quickly masked it. But Barry had seen it. Maybe Len wasn’t so ready to run off, after all? Maybe Len _wouldn’t_ rather be with John, than Barry? Barry wasn’t about to demand that Len rush into anything he didn’t want to, like John apparently was. Len was welcome to stay with Barry, for free, as long as Len wanted to. The thread connecting them could stay as it was, as far as Barry was concerned. Being connected to Len didn’t bother Barry at all.

Did Len not know that? Was he acting out of some misplaced sense of guilt or feeling like he owed Barry something? It fit, Barry thought. Len had a code, Barry knew. Len might use people to get what he wanted, but he didn’t hurt people if it could be avoided. Len paid his debts, even if he was the only one that knew they were owed. It gave Barry the courage to speak up.

“Don’t do it for me, please! I mean…if you want it gone, I understand. I’ll cooperate. But don’t do it for _me_. Don’t do it because you think I want it gone, or because you think you owe me, or…because you did it without asking me first, either.

“I don’t mind. I would have agreed, if I could have thought properly about it at the time. But I was so focused on Iris and Savitar, that I didn’t even consider trying anything to help you. I’m sorry for that. You deserved better from me.

“You _deserve_ this, Len! You deserved to be saved, just as much as _anyone_. I’m sorry I didn’t try. I’m sorry you had to do it on your own.”

Many emotions flickered across Len’s face while Barry talked, each quickly hidden before Barry could be sure what he saw. But Barry felt like he’d said the right thing. He felt like he’d read Len right.

Len _didn’t_ seem to want to commit to a job for John. Len didn’t want the thread untied that much. He had no _reason_ to. Even John had said that. The connection was there, but it didn’t affect either of them anymore. There was no need to owe John a big favor to untie them. But Len didn’t look so sure of that yet.

“I mean, it’s not like I felt it. John’s right. It’s not like it affected me.” Barry continued; trying to convince Len. “I’m glad you’re back. But it’s true...it’s not like I was longing for your return while you were gone. So it’s true it didn’t affect me.”

Barry winced. He was rambling and being blunt. Len was just staring at him, unreadable. He _hadn’t_ been longing for Len’s return, it was true. But Barry had been longing for _someone_. Just not Len specifically. He hadn’t thought that was possible. Not until Len had shown up, anyway.

Now he couldn’t be more thrilled that Len was back. Now, he couldn’t imagine wanting anyone there with him more. Len being back, being with _Barry_ , just wasn’t a possibility that Barry had even been considering before. But now it was a reality and Barry wasn’t willing to give it up easily.

If Len left now, Barry _would_ miss him. Barry _hated_ the idea of Len leaving now; especially to work a job with John that Len didn’t want to. A little bit ago, before Barry had called John, Len had seemed willing to stay with Barry awhile. Barry couldn’t help but cling to the idea. Now that Len was back, he wanted Len _there_ with him.

“It’s like you stole a sweatshirt of mine, to follow my scent home, as I understand it.” Barry was rambling more, desperate to get Len to agree. “There’s no reason you have to like…owe John to forget the scent. Or no, you said you can’t feel it anymore either. So it’s not even like that!

“I don’t…I don’t know why you want it gone. But that’s not…Just…Just don’t do it for me, ok? Don’t get it untied for _me_.

“I just…I’m just glad you’re back. I’m glad I could help, even though I didn’t know I was. I…I haven’t had a win in awhile. At least it feels that way. I want to see this as one. Having you back, I mean. I want to feel like I helped. If you end up owing John when you don’t have to, it won’t feel that way.”

Len pressed his lips tightly together and just kept staring at Barry, as if trying to gauge his sincerity. Barry couldn’t say more. Even in his ramblings, some things he couldn’t just outright _say_. He couldn’t just tell Len how desperate he was for company. How Len seemed the perfect fit for what was missing in his life.

But Barry tried to put his earnestness in his expression. Len _didn’t_ need to owe John if he didn’t want to. Len could stay there with Barry as long as he wanted to. Barry wanted him there. Len being there would help Barry so much. Maybe, if Len gave him a chance, Barry could find a way to make it worth it for Len too. Find a way that being with Barry would be fulfilling for Len, too.

“Alright.” Len shrugged and leaned back. “I’ve never returned something I’ve stolen before. No reason to start now.”

Barry sighed in relief and grinned.

“About bloody time!” John grumbled over the phone. “Now, as entertaining as this has been, I do have things to do. Barry, I’ll email you my bill with our standard rate for info. Leo, once you get your shit together, if you feel like going for a drink give me a call.”

With that, the sorcerer ended the call.

\------------------------------

Barry had taken it all a lot better than Len had expected. Len wasn’t sure when he’d decided to tell Barry the truth. He hadn’t intended to originally when he’d made the plan before the Oculus. He’d pulled on the thread for a long time, in the Time Stream, without changing his mind. There was no need for Barry to know what Len had stolen from him. No need for Barry to know the inadvertent part the speedster had played in Len’s own rescue. No need to give Barry a reason to resent Len.

But then Len’s feelings for Barry grew stronger the longer Len had felt Barry’s emotions. He’d begun to feel guilt for using Barry this way without permission. Not enough guilt that he regretted it. Len fully believed in his own right to live outweighing any scruples about how he’d done it. But enough that it changed his perspective on Barry some.

And then Len had felt Barry’s mood shift. He’d known how often Barry felt alone lately. He’d known how deep Barry’s feelings of abandonment went, of unworthiness, of guilt. He’d found he couldn’t stand the idea of the speedster being left that way. Not when Len might be able to do something about it. Not when Len knew that all Barry deserved was to be surrounded by people that appreciated him and helped him.

Len had been using Barry for company for years and years, in the Time Stream. Len had used him as his anchor, as his connection to the world, as the one thread that kept Len together. Barry was the reason Len was alive. John had helped, of course. But the magic would’ve been useless without the correct person to tie it to. Barry was the one that had made the entire plan possible. _Barry_ was the one that had gotten Len home. Len owed Barry the truth, at least.

Afterward, Len had thought that untying the strings might be best for Barry. Len had admitted he’d been able to feel Barry in the Time Stream; feel his emotions, though not their causes. Barry had blushed and looked uncomfortable with this information. Len could no longer feel the connection, he’d explained. But the connection was still there.

Barry had never given him permission for the thread. The thread had served its purpose. Len was home now and didn’t need to follow it any longer. It was only fair Len offer to untie it, if it being there made Barry uncomfortable.

But Barry’s reaction to Len offering to do just that, via John, hadn’t been one of relief. It’d been one of worry, almost panic, on Len’s behalf. Always willing to sacrifice himself before others, Barry was. That hadn’t changed in ten years. But it was more than just that.

If Len was reading Barry right, Barry wanted Len to stick around. He didn’t want Len running off for a job for John, and leaving Barry alone. Barry was lonely and in desperate need of support. It was nothing personal about Len, he thought. But that was alright.

If Barry needed someone to support him now, Len would do that. He owed Barry that much. He _wanted_ to help Barry, if Barry let him. Len wanted to see Barry be happy and confident again, even if Len wouldn’t be able to _feel_ it like he had in the Time Stream. Even if it meant that Barry wouldn’t need or want Len around anymore. For now, Len would stay. He wouldn’t untie the strings. That seemed to be what they _both_ wanted.

Barry smiled at him then, shy and hesitant, now that the call with John was over. Len smiled back, trying to show it was genuine.

“Alright. So tell me what’s happened to you in the last ten years. Tell me why you feel like you haven’t gotten a win in so long. And then, let me help you fix that.”

The gratitude in Barry’s eyes sent Len’s heart racing.

“Ten years ago…damn…ten years ago, after the last time I saw you…we beat Savitar. Saved Iris, thanks to H.R.’s sacrifice. And I…I ended up in the Speed Force for six months. Nothing compared to your ten years in the Time Stream. But I…came back….confused and…. _naked_ , actually.

“Why do you get to come back fully clothed in my bathroom, and I came back naked on a country road in front of a family’s truck?”

Len laughed, he couldn’t help it. He hadn’t really laughed in a long time. He’d forgotten how great a stress reliever a good laugh was. Barry joined him, though a bit sheepishly. Barry’s expression looked…jealous and…disappointed, maybe. Was Barry wishing he’d gotten to see Len without clothes? Or was that just Len’s _own_ wishful thinking?

“Maybe the Speed Force is more of a pervert than the Time Stream.” Len shrugged, with a last chuckle. “And as nice of a mental image as that is, I was more asking about your _recent_ history.”

Barry blushed, to Len’s satisfaction. The speedster didn’t seem uncomfortable with Len’s slight flirtation. He never had been before. But he’d always been a bit oblivious, and Len had never wanted to be too obvious in his interest. Not until now, anyway.

Now, after being so near death, then so far away for so long, and coming back to a world where countless things had changed…a lot of Len’s priorities had shifted. Barry was near the top of his list, currently. After Len confirmed a few things, Barry would likely be Len’s sole focus for the time being. He owed Barry that much. And Len _wanted_ to repay him.

If what Barry needed was just a supportive friend, so be it. If Barry wanted more…well, what was the point of being reborn if Len didn’t enjoy his new life to the fullest?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It didn’t fit to hint at anything in the chapter itself. But I will say here, John _is_ a conman with a heart of gold ^_~


	5. Chapter 5

Barry began to tell Leonard what his life had been like lately. Barry told him about a new Reverse Flash, a speedster claiming to be from the future and calling himself Ezra Thawne; nephew to Eobard. This Ezra had acted like Barry’s fanboy, denouncing his uncle and visiting from the future to meet his idol. Barry had been flattered at first. The last remaining members of Team Flash had recently moved on, for various reasons. Barry had been alone and enjoyed the attention from Ezra.

At least until Barry couldn’t devote enough of his attention to Ezra. Barry had gotten busy at his job as a CSI. Regular human crime had been up, and meta-human crime down. It’d made sense for Barry to spend more time at the CCPD than at Star Labs; more time as a CSI than as the Flash. But Barry couldn’t allow Ezra to visit him often at the police station.

So alone at Star Labs, when Barry cancelled plans to meet him for the third time that week, Ezra had lost it. He had destroyed Star Labs. Then he went on a rampage around the rest of the city, raging against it all. He revealed his powers came from the Negative Speed Force, which Barry still didn’t understand much of.

Barry hadn’t wanted to hurt Ezra, even as Ezra hurt innocents. Barry had felt guilty for not being able to give Ezra the attention he needed. He felt guilty for not realizing sooner that Ezra needed help. Ezra had clearly been mentally unstable, but Barry didn’t believe he’d been outright evil. Barry had tried to talk to him, reason with him. Barry regretted that now.

In the end, a rookie cop had killed Ezra; surprising him with gun shots to his back before he could speed away. Not the first time Barry had been saved from another speedster by an unlikely hero just like that, Barry admitted with a lot of self reproach. Not the first time that Barry’s failure to act fast enough had cost the city’s people. Not the first time Barry had missed signs that should have been obvious. Barry harshly criticized himself, while Len listened in attentive silence.

He really regretted it, Len could tell that much. The details Barry gave were sparing. It was obvious it hurt him to admit even this much. Len might have to press him for details later. But for now, he let Barry continue to be vague. Len was getting a framework of events, at least. It was a good starting point.

Barry hadn’t realized before Ezra had died, that he’d somehow infected Barry with the Negative Speed Force. Barry admitted how little he understand his new powers, how they limited his healing, how destructive they were, how much they scared him.

Barry talked about how he felt like he’d been doing more harm than good, for awhile now. How he felt like he should be able to clean up his own mistakes by now. How he didn’t want to burden his old team, his friends, with problems he’d gotten himself into. How they deserved to move on. Barry himself was the threat now, no one else, Barry said. If Barry stopped using his powers, the destructive side effects would stop. He didn’t need his old team to tell him that. He didn’t need to put them in danger just to confirm what Barry already knew.

When he finished talking, Barry’s entire body was tense, his hands clenched into fists. He stared down at them, not looking up to meet Len’s gaze. As if Len was about to judge Barry and find him guilty. If anything, Len wanted to put his arms around Barry in comfort. But he resisted the impulse. He wasn’t sure yet if it would be welcome.

“You need a new team. You’re not meant to work alone, Barry. You’re a people person; you care about others, and you feed off of them caring about you in return. You’re smart, but even the smartest people’s ideas can be improved with input from others; getting other perspectives.

“That’s why you were susceptible to this Ezra. If you had friends around you that you trusted, you wouldn’t have let him into your life so easily. Even if you had been fooled for awhile, if you’d had support, you would have seen him for what he was before he could wreck so much damage.

“You’ll never do as well on your own, and that’s _alright_.” Len decreed. “That doesn’t mean you’re weak, or not smart enough. People are stronger together. Even loners like me. I know I need a crew for bigger jobs. Protecting this city like you do…that’s a damn big job.

“I know you don’t want to be a danger to anyone. But think of how much danger this city will be in if you _aren’t_ around as the Flash? Meta-human threats are low lately, that’s great. But both of us know the chances of that lasting are slim. The city will need the Flash again. I can tell you don’t want to give it up, so don’t let this defeat you!

“If your old friends have moved on and you don’t want to impose on them to come back, fine. We’ll find new people. We’ll thoroughly vet them first, of course. But there _are_ trustworthy, talented, intelligent people out there. People that would jump at the chance to help the Flash.”

Barry was staring at him with wide eyes. Len hadn’t meant to get so preachy. But Barry seemed to need it.

“And _you_ …you’re really saying _you_ ’ll be one of those people? You’ll help me? You _want_ to help me? Like, permanently?” Barry’s eyes were full of hope and it sent Len’s heart racing.

“Well, I _am_ an intelligent and talented person, I _do_ love a challenge, and I _am_ currently looking for new employment.” Len smirked. “I can’t say it’s wise for many people to trust me. But you… _you_ can trust me now, Barry.”

Barry grinned at him and the speedster’s eyes looked suspiciously wet. Len again held back the urge to hug him.

“Well…I _had_ been thinking, just before you showed up, that it would be nice to have a butler.” Barry smirked. “And you _did_ show off your skills at taking care of me, and the apartment, already.”

Len snorted in amusement. He could have taken offense. He never would, though. Not with the way Barry was smiling at him. Not with the way Barry was teasing him. And the way Barry was enjoying himself, playing off someone that could give back in kind. Len knew how much Barry’d missed having someone like that around.

“I could try my hand at it.” Len agreed easily enough. “I do look quite good in a suit and tie. And bathing you when you’re _not_ half asleep does have its appeal.”

Barry choked at that and turned bright red. But he didn’t deny the possibility, either. Len’s smile widened.

“But first, there are some people I need to visit.” Len admitted.

Barry’s face fell, as if sure he was about to be alone again. It only solidified the plan Len had already made.

“And _you_ need a vacation. So you’re coming with me.” Len added. “Now, no argument! Until we figure this out, you need to lay off the speed for awhile. You were practically ready to hang up the Flash suit permanently. Taking a break is much better than that! Unless you can honestly say the CCPD doesn’t owe you at least a few days off, you are coming!  

“And I am asking for some selfish reasons, too. I could definitely use the backup where I’m going. Not everyone is going to be as understanding and accepting of my miraculous return after ten years, as you are. More likely they’re going to be incredibly pissed I didn’t tell them beforehand.”

It took a little more prodding after that, but eventually Barry agreed.

\--------------------------

Barry wasn’t sure what he was doing there. Len had asked him to come, so of course he’d said yes in the end. Barry didn’t want to be alone. Barry wanted to be with _Len_ , now that Len was back. But despite what Len had said about Barry being his backup, Barry didn’t know what he was supposed to do here.

Finding Lisa and Mick had been easy enough. Len had already done it, using Barry’s computer that first night while Barry slept. They’d both been officially pardoned and given up crime years ago, so they didn’t try to hide their lives. Len had looked them up online easily.

Len had wanted to see Lisa first, so Barry had followed Len onto a train bound for Chicago. It had been a long time since Barry had been on a train. But they’d both agreed he wouldn’t use his speed unless there was an emergency. Not until they’d figured out more about how the Negative Speed Force worked.

Len had needed an ID to be able to ride the train. It would be a long process if Len wanted to be declared legally alive again. So Barry had instead gotten Len a fake ID. It was relatively easy, with Barry’s skills and what he had access to at the CCPD. He hadn’t even had to use his speed to pull it off. Len had looked impressed and Barry had found he cared far more about that than the less than legal activity.

Barry had been worried he’d be bored out of his mind on the train. But Len had asked him to bring his tablet so Len could see some movies he had missed in the last ten years. They ended up marathoning Star Wars movies the entire trip. They sat side by side; shoulders touching, watching lightsaber battles and ships blow up. The special effects got better, the characters changed, but the stories were comfortingly familiar throughout.

Barry stole glances at Len’s face often. He enjoyed watching Len like this, relaxed and enjoying himself. If Len noticed Barry’s eyes on him, he gave no sign. Barry was tempted, very tempted, to do the classic stretch and then slyly put his arm around Len’s shoulders move. But he wasn’t that bold. Not yet, anyway. He didn’t want to make Len uncomfortable. Still, the ride had ended up surprisingly pleasant.

But now that they were there, Barry felt out of place. Barry barely knew Lisa. He hadn’t visited her after Len’s ‘death’. Ray had said the Legends had, before Barry had even known about it. Then Barry hadn’t felt like it was his place to contact her. She’d never even found out the Flash’s identity, as far as Barry knew. Cisco had said she hadn’t reached out to him. So they all lost track of her.

Barry could assure her this was Len, _their_ Len. But why should she believe him any more than she did Len himself? She had no reason to trust Barry. So Barry didn’t know why Len wanted him there.

They were standing on a street corner, Barry and Len. It was early evening and it was a nice suburb. People were out walking dogs, or tending to their yards. Kids were riding bikes, or playing games outside. Lisa’s home was a few houses down.

Len had said he wanted to watch for awhile, wait for the right moment to approach her. Len hadn’t tried contacting her first, figuring in person was best. Barry hadn’t questioned him. This was Len’s life, Len’s sister. Barry was just tagging along because Len had asked him to. Though Barry didn’t know why Len wanted him there, really.

While Len gazed down the street at the house, Barry watched Len. Barry noticed the moment Len’s hands started to shake. Len was nervous, of course he was! Why hadn’t Barry realized that sooner? Len was an expert at hiding his emotions. But reuniting with the sister that he clearly loved, after ten years presumed dead, of course he’d be nervous!

Before he could think better of it, Barry grabbed Len’s closest hand and took it into his, lacing their fingers together. Barry held tightly. Len didn’t look down. Len’s expression didn’t react to the contact. But he didn’t let go. Then, a moment later, he squeezed Barry’s hand back. Len still gave no other sign he was holding Barry’s hand. Len’s eyes remained on the house. But Barry’s heart soared.

Maybe, Barry did know why he was here after all. Maybe, Len felt alone and could use some support too.

Len’s mouth twitched, just a tad, and Barry turned to see a woman had come out of the house. It took him a moment to realize it was Lisa. She had died her hair blonde, Barry noticed that first. She looked older, but not by that much. Her clothes were more casual than Barry remembered her wearing, but still stylish. Then she yelled down the street and broke Barry’s train of thought entirely.

“Leonard!” Lisa projected her voice loudly, but not angrily.

Barry had a few seconds to wonder how she’d noticed them, how she recognized Len. Len wore a dark red hoodie he’d borrowed from Barry, and had the hood up around his face. They were far enough away, and in the shadows. She shouldn’t have been able to make them out that clearly.

“Leonard!” Lisa called again, looking around now; not at Barry and Len. “Liam! Dinner!”

Barry realized what was happened the same moment he felt Len’s hand tighten around his. Lisa had _kids_. Len hadn’t said, but he had to have known, after he found her on the internet. Barry hadn’t thought to ask. Lisa had _kids_ , and one was named _Leonard_.

Two boys soon ran down the sidewalk toward Lisa. They both had dark curly hair and looked no more than eight at the most. Twins maybe? Barry couldn’t tell from this distance.

The boys reached the door and Lisa stepped aside to let them in. It was then that Barry saw _another_ child, smaller, and clinging to Lisa’s leg. Len’s hand squeezed Barry’s so hard it was almost painful. The two boys went inside, Lisa following with the toddler and closing the door behind them.

Once they were out of sight, Barry turned to look at Len’s face. It was frozen, expressionless, but Barry saw the wetness on his cheeks. Len let go of Barry’s hand to angrily wipe at his face. He looked at Barry as if daring him to mention it. Barry didn’t, Barry wouldn’t. Barry just wanted to help. Len must have been able to tell, because his expression softened ever so slightly before he looked away.

Barry wanted to ask why Len hadn’t told him to expect the kids, but Barry thought better of it. This wasn’t about Barry. Len needed to handle this however was best for Len. Barry looked back at the house, seeing Len do the same. Barry just wished he knew what he could do, besides offer silent support.

They stood there a few moments more, until Barry heard steps approaching behind them. Before he could turn to look, he heard the distinct sound of a gun being cocked.

“Gentlemen,” a familiar female voice spoke confidently behind them, “you are both going to slowly turn around, with your hands where I can see them, and explain to me why you’ve been watching my house and my _children_.”

Barry swallowed. He knew that voice. He had no idea how she’s circled around behind them so quickly. But he should have known better than to underestimate a Snart. He could use his speed and disarm her, of course. And possibly cause an explosion to rip through the street, thanks to the Negative Speed Force. So he slowly turned around with his hands up, instead. Len did the same next to him. Barry hoped Len had a plan.

“Nice to see you haven’t lost your edge, sis.” Len drawled, as he turned to face her.

Barry side-eyed Len. That did not seem the best opening line. Len was looking straight at Lisa and paid Barry no notice. Barry looked toward Lisa too, finding her eyes widened and the gun pointed straight at them. It was a regular gun, not her gold one. But that made it no less deadly. Barry would use his speed, if he had to. He hoped he wouldn’t have to.

“Len…Lenny…” Lisa faltered for a moment, then shook her head. “No, he’s _dead_. You’re _not_ him. Who _are_ you?! What is this?! If you think this is _funny_ …if you think you can take advantage of me because you look like him, you’re dead wrong!”

“You had a stuffed animal unicorn named Glitter.” Len responded. “When you were five, you knocked over a beer bottle. Lewis cut off Glitter’s horn and threw it at you. The next day I stole a book to learn how to sew it back on for you. I couldn’t find gold thread. I used white and the job was so shoddy it barely stayed attached. But you…hugged me and said I was a magic unicorn doctor.”

Len’s voice had started out steady, with his confident drawl. Now it was plain, honest, and broke a bit by the end. Barry’s _heart_ broke for Len. For Lisa, too. He hoped this would be enough. But Lisa didn’t lower the gun.

“My brother stole me that unicorn from _Toys R Us_ in the first place.” Lisa was eying Len warily as she said it.

“ _Children’s Palace_ , actually.” Len responded. “You only even remember that because you liked that store so much more, because they made it look like a castle.”

“Oh yes, how could I forget? My kids love that place too.”

“The entire chain went out of business in 1992. When our local one was closing, I stole you half their _Polly Pocket_ dolls first. I pretended I didn’t see you steal the rest. I never let you steal anything I could get for you, before that. But you wanted to be like me. You were so proud you didn’t get caught. And I was so…worried. I kept hoping you’d find another way to live. You almost did, with your skating. Until Lewis ruined that, too.”

Lisa was wavering, lowering the gun slightly. But she still looked unsure.

“That’s right. He broke my skates and you couldn’t…”

“He broke your _ankle_.” Len snarled and Barry winced. “And I couldn’t convince your coach to wait for you to heal. He took another student on instead. I should have killed Lewis then. Found some way to do it. Found another coach for you. But I…fucked a lot up, Lisa. And I’m _sorry_.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t better for you then. I’m sorry I wasn’t better for you ten years ago when I went and got myself killed. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you I had a plan to get back. I’m sorry I missed so much that…”

“My brother doesn’t just _apologize_ like that!”

Lisa was raising the gun again, but she didn’t look certain.

“Some things _do_ change in ten years, Lisa.” Len admitted. “I know you’re not letting me anywhere near your kids anytime soon, or I’d suggest going inside and talking about it. But you name the time and place, and I’ll be there and do everything I can to prove to you that I _am_ your brother.”

Lisa looked at Len, just searched his face for several long seconds. Then she fully lowered the gun with a frustrated huff. She didn’t entirely believe Len yet, clearly. But this was a start. Len and Barry lowered their hands, Barry letting out a long sigh of relief. Lisa finally looked at him.

“And what about _you_? Don’t you have anything to add, _Flash_?”

Barry gapped. Did _that_ many people really know his identity?! Fine, whatever, he grumbled to himself. He _was_ going to tell her if she asked who he was, anyway.

“He’s your brother. The same Len that went with the Legends to the Oculus explosion. He finally made it back. I’m convinced of it. But I don’t…I don’t know what I can do to help you believe it.”

If something as simple as a call to John Constantine would do it, like it had for Barry, surely Len would have done that already. Len might not want to owe John a _big_ favor. But John wouldn’t have asked for much to confirm it again, like he had for Barry. But if Lisa didn’t know John, didn’t trust him, then that was useless. Barry trusted Len had thought that all through already.

“The kids are safe with their father. I already told him I got a call from an old friend with an emergency before I ran out. So there’s no reason to delay this.” Lisa explained. “There’s a diner, closed for construction, not too far from here. Easy enough to get into and have privacy to talk. Start walking that way and you’ll see it in a few blocks. I’ll be right behind you.”

Len nodded, turned and started walking without a backward glance. Barry eyed Lisa a moment before he turned too. Len trusted Lisa wouldn’t shoot them in the back. Barry wasn’t sure if it was wise, but he trusted that too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ezra Thawne is my own creation. In the comics, the Negative Speed Force is thanks to Eobard, back again. I didn’t want to deal with another resurrection of him here, so figured a different Thawne would work. I wanted an E name, saw Ezra in a list, and figured it’d be a fun nod to Ezra Miller playing the movieverse Flash.


	6. Chapter 6

Len picked the lock on the back door of the diner easily enough. Lisa could have done it, but Len doing it passed another of her tests. Not just that he could, but that he did it the same way she would have expected him to.

Len was relieved he’d managed to get this far with Lisa. Of course the best way to convince her that it was him was with details of their shared past. But Len had worried about his memory after how long he spent in the Time Stream. He’d worried the sharpness of mind he’d always relied on might have dimmed. He’d worried he might somehow get possibilities he’d glanced at in the Time Stream confused with the reality he’d lived. Thankfully and to his great relief, neither of those things had happened.

Inside the diner, they pulled drop cloths off a table and chairs and sat. The electricity in the place worked, but the windows were covered. It was ideal for a private meeting.

The lighting was better than it had been on the street and the threat of being shot was gone, so Len got his first good look at Lisa in ten years. She was clearly older. Not _old_ , but time had taken its toll on her. She didn’t look bad for her age, at all. But it was still a striking difference from the last time he’d seen her. Considering Len hadn’t aged while in the Time Stream, they were around the same age now. It was disconcerting and it hurt to realize. But Len kept reminding himself the alternative had been to _never_ be alive to see her again.

Lisa eyed Barry, and Len felt bad for the speedster. He knew this was all awkward for Barry. But he didn’t regret bringing Barry along. Barry could use the distraction. And Len liked having Barry nearby. Though Len knew Lisa well enough to know what she was about to suggest.

“Lenny and I could use a little time alone.” Lisa said toward Barry. “Why don’t you flash over to one of the restaurants on the highway and get us dinner? I’m missing mine thanks to this, and I doubt you two have eaten lately.”

“I can’t.” Barry winced. “I mean, I can go get us food. But it’d have to be at normal speed. I can’t…well, s _houldn’t_ use my powers right now. It’s complicated.”

“So it’ll take a bit longer, even better.” Lisa smiled. “The closest place is a _Big Belly Burger_ on the corner of 5 th and Ferling. You have a phone that’ll give you directions there?”

Barry nodded, but looked at Len before getting up to leave. Len’s immediate impulse was to tell Barry to stay. This would be the first time Barry had been more than a room away from Len since Len had gotten back. It would be the first time in ten years that Len couldn’t feel a connection to Barry, and didn’t know exactly where Barry was.

But it had to happen sometime. Len wasn’t going to be able to always keep Barry in his immediate vicinity, no matter how much he wanted to. There was no way that would ever be practical, for either of them. No matter how much Len’s instincts had developed to want it to be. Len pushed the feeling down. Better to rip the band-aid off now than delay the inevitable.

“Get me a double burger, with fries, and a chocolate shake.” Len said with a smirk, masking his inner anxiety building at Barry leaving.

Barry nodded, listened to what Lisa wanted, then made his way out of the diner. Len tried to ignore how his heart started racing as soon as Barry was out of sight.

“So he _does_ have something to do with you being back.” Lisa, ever observant and knowing Len well, commented. “Glad to see you don’t have to be attached to him at the hip, though. I know you’ve always been fond of him. But getting you back, only to find out you’re the Scarlet Speedster’s servant or something in exchange, would not be fun.”

Len’s eyes widened and he didn’t bother to hide his surprise. It sounded like Lisa was saying she already believed him.

“Now, I don’t _entirely_ trust you yet.” Lisa cautioned. “But I know better than to look a gift horse in the mouth, too. If this were just about me, I’d have said fuck it and just been happy to have you back; whether you’re really my brother or not. But I have a family to protect now.

“On the other hand, I’ve wanted my brother to get to know his nephews and niece since I got pregnant the first time. So if that’s a possibility, hell if I’m going to deny it just from some lack of faith. But don’t expect to be left alone with them anytime soon, either.”

Len smiled. It was a soft smile that anyone besides Lisa rarely ever saw. Getting to have a relationship, _any_ relationship, with Lisa’s kids was more than he’d dared hope for. He gripped his hands tightly together on the table to keep them from shaking.

“So, I have a few more questions for you to strengthen my faith in you.” Lisa smiled back. “If you answer those correctly, you can start telling me how exactly you pulled this off. And _why_ exactly you couldn’t tell me beforehand.”

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Barry hadn’t wanted to leave. He knew it was irrational. Of course Lisa wanted time alone with Len. It was only natural. But Barry couldn’t help worrying. Len and Lisa both could take care of themselves, that wasn’t the issue. What worried Barry was that they might not still be there when he got back.

What if Len and Lisa reconnected and Len realized he didn’t need or want Barry around him anymore? What if they just disappeared without a trace? They had the skills for that, it wasn’t a crazy idea. But it _was_ crazy because Lisa had a _family_! Barry scolded himself mentally. Lisa wouldn’t run off and leave her kids, just to get rid of Barry!

Unless…she’d actually told her husband to already leave with the kids before she’d even approached them, and now she was telling Len to join them and ditch Barry. What did Len need Barry for anyway? What if…

Barry shook his head and cursed at himself. He blamed his wandering mind on the fact that he wasn’t allowed to use his speed. He wasn’t used to moving at a normal rate for so long. It left way too much of his attention free to conjure wild thoughts and possibilities.

If Len wanted to leave, then he would leave. There was nothing Barry could do about it right now. Worrying wouldn’t help. Not that telling himself to not worry really helped either.

After what felt like hours to Barry, but was maybe 45 minutes, Barry had gotten the food and made his way back to the closed diner. To his relief, the Snart siblings were still there and still talking. Lisa seemed to have gotten a lot more comfortable with Len. To Barry’s further relief, they both seemed happy enough to see him. They smiled, waved him over, and gladly accepted the food.

As they ate, Lisa told them about how she’d first met her husband. He was a jewelry store owner. A good guy. He’d seen Lisa reselling some of his pieces and realized she was a better saleswoman than anyone he employed. She actually sold them for more than their original market price. He tracked her down and didn’t even care that she’d stolen the items, if she’d just agree to work for him marketing his wares legally instead. She agreed, eventually. Working together, they developed mutual respect and eventually deeper feelings. Between the two of them, they now owned an entire string of jewelry stores.

She told them about her children. Leonard was the oldest at seven, closely followed by Liam at six. Laci would be four in a month.

“Leonard likes to be called Leon. Though, I still use his full name a lot. He’s said he likes Leon because it makes his name the same amount of letters as Liam and Laci. Leon and Liam are really close. They almost always get along. They get annoyed by Laci sometimes, but only what’s normal for their age.

“I’m glad…I’m glad they can be that way. There’s no need for them to be very protective of her, not yet. They don’t have to take on that responsibility as kids, like you did for me, Lenny. Steven is a good father. Everything ours wasn’t.”

Barry watched Len out of the corner of his eye as Len took in that information. Barry could tell how deeply it affected him; he barely tried to hide it. Barry was so glad Len got this; that Lisa trusted Len enough now to tell him this. Lisa had paused talking and was nodding to herself now, as if reaching a decision.

“You should come meet them tomorrow. Come for dinner, both of you. We’ll have to make up a story for Steven and the kids. Steven knows my past, of course. He knows I had some run-ins with super-hero-types, and my brother did too. But that doesn’t mean he needs to try and wrap his mind around time travel and magic.

“Like I said, I won’t leave you alone with the kids. Not until I’m completely sure you’re _you_. But you should meet them.

“I want you to have a relationship with them, Lenny. Starting small and _slow_ , and building from there. But _starting_ , not waiting any longer. Meet them tomorrow. Maybe come back for Laci’s birthday next month. Then we’ll go from there.”

Len nodded, agreeing easily. Together the three of them decided on a story. They’d claim Len had been in a coma for the past ten years, rather than killed in an explosion like they’d thought. But the hospital hadn’t been able to identify him, since his records had been erased, so no one had known. It was unlikely, but more plausible than the truth.

They would keep Barry’s identity as the Flash to themselves, of course. But they needed a reason for him to be there and to know Len. Barry was a bit surprised neither Snart sibling suggested he just not come to the dinner. But he wasn’t going to be the one to say he didn’t need to be there. He _wanted_ to be there. No matter how much he felt like he didn’t really have a right to be. He wanted to offer Len whatever support he could, even if it wasn’t much.

They considered pretending Barry was a nurse, but soon nixed it because they didn’t believe Barry could fake it. Barry had huffed a bit about that. But saying he was a volunteer that’d helped with Len while he was in his coma, and was helping him readjust now, did seem better. Especially because Barry had been in a coma himself, it made sense he might volunteer to help coma patients. Always better to base lies on truths, Len had said.

They set a time for meeting at Lisa’s tomorrow. Len then also agreed they’d leave afterward, rather than linger in the area. The prospect of Len being so close so soon made Lisa uncomfortable, she admitted. She wanted to ease her family into this, not get the kids too attached to Len before she was totally sure. Once more time had passed and nothing happened to dispute Len’s claims of who he was, she’d reconsider. Len seemed to understand and be grateful he got any time with the kids.

Barry was both happy and sad for Len. Though he understood where Lisa was coming from with her caution. Of course she needed to make sure her children didn’t get attached to someone who might not be who he claimed. Just because Barry trusted Len, didn’t mean it was as easy for her. She had her kids to consider. Eventually she’d trust Len more, given time.

Barry was also selfishly happy that Len wasn’t planning on finding a place to stay near Lisa. He was so, so glad Len was going to be with him. At least for awhile. Unless where they were stopping after Lisa’s changed Len’s mind. But for now at least, Barry could hold onto the idea of Len going home with Barry.

Soon, they said goodbye to Lisa for the night and left the diner. Len relocked the door he’d picked on the way in. Lisa made her way home, as Len and Barry headed to a nearby hotel for the night.

\-------------------------------------

Barry watched Len pace back and forth in their hotel room. It was a small room, with two beds, a TV, bathroom, and not much else. Barry estimated Len must have walked across it at least 100 times since they’d gotten there. Barry wanted to reassure Len, but he had no idea how to. The prospect of meeting his nephews and niece for the first time was understandably stressing him out.

“You’re going to be a cool uncle, Len. It might take them time to realize that, but once they do, they’re going to love you.” Barry tried.

Len gave Barry a weak smirk at his pun attempt. But Barry could tell his words hadn’t done much.

“I feel like I should get them something.” Len sighed. “That’s what relatives do, when they visit after being away for a long time, isn’t it? But I don’t even have money, and if I stole them something…They don’t need me to steal them anything. They’re not struggling for money like Lisa and I were when we were kids. And I…this is a new start for me. I’m not about to screw it up and land in prison because I tried something before I’m ready. I have a lot of catch up to do to get familiar with current security tech.”

“I can give you money, if you really want to get them something.” Barry offered, but Len shook his head.

Barry was paying for their hotel room. Len said he’d owe Barry for his half, and Barry knew better than to argue. But all the payment Barry really wanted was for Len to stick around him longer.

Maybe Barry should bring up offering Len a job again? He hadn’t really been serious about the butler bit. But Barry could afford to pay Len for helping him, if Len needed money. Barry had his CSI pay, as well as stocks he’d inherited from Wells along with Star Labs. And the damage insurance money for Star Labs was sitting around waiting for Barry to decide if he ever wanted to rebuild the place again. Barry could use that too, if he needed to.

But Barry didn’t really think Len’s lack of money was the root of his problem at the moment.

“I don’t think you need to get them anything.” Barry admitted. “You got them _you_ , Len. You made it possible that you could be here for them. _You_ are enough.”

Len stopped pacing abruptly at that and turned to look at Barry. Len’s expression showed a level of insecurity that Barry had never seen on his face before. Likely that Len hadn’t _let_ him see before. Barry wasn’t sure why Len was able to trust him enough now to be this open in front of him. But Barry treasured it, as much as he felt terrible that Len doubted himself at the same time.

“You actually believe that. You’re not just saying it.”

Len didn’t say it like it was a question, but Barry answered as if it had been.

“I _know_ it. I know you’d do _anything_ for those kids, even before you’ve met them. They might not understand how lucky they are to have you yet. But they _will_. Maybe not in one night, tomorrow. But eventually, they _will_.”

Len was staring intently at Barry. For a few seconds Len’s expression seemed so full of fondness. Barry almost thought Len might hug him. But the moment passed and Len didn’t move. Then the mask was back, evening out his features. But Barry had seen it. His words meant something to Len. Barry was relieved he’d gotten through to Len, at least a little.

Soon after that, they were able to get to sleep. Barry tried to not wish the hotel had had only one bed rooms left. The small space between their beds seemed unnaturally far, suddenly.

\---------------------------

“What was it like being in a coma?”

Len was on his knees in front of his namesake. In the back of his mind, he thought the last time he’d been in this position with a child was when he went back in time and talked to his younger self. This was better than that, by far. This little Leonard had none of the fear, hesitation, or mistrust that Len had already known intimately at that age. And he and his siblings never would, either. Len trusted Lisa would make sure of that. And now she had Len for backup again, too.

With that in mind, any awkwardness from the question paled in comparison. Len wasn’t fond of lying to children. But he knew that sometimes it was necessary.

“It was like sleeping, but not being able to wake up.”

“I don’t like sleeping. Liam too. We ask Mom to make bedtime later, but she always says no.”

“Sleep is important. That’s why I slept so long. I needed the time to get better.”

“It’s good you’re awake now. It made Mom happy. You should not get hurt again, so you can stay awake.”

“I’ll do my best.” Len promised.

Leon nodded, taking the promise seriously as it was intended.

Liam seemed to gather his courage then, and came to stand next to his brother. He’d been hanging back behind his father since they’d all been introduced a few minutes ago.

“Do you like hockey?” Liam asked, clearly considering the question just as important as the one his brother had asked.

“I do. Though I might be behind on the rules and players. The last game I watched was ten years ago.” Len admitted, glad he could tell the whole truth for this answer.

Liam looked at Barry then, who was standing behind Len. There was a pause, as it clearly took Barry a moment to understand Liam was waiting for an answer to the same question.

“Oh, I, uhm, well I don’t _not_ like hockey.” Barry stumbled over his words. “I’m, uh, not really a fan, though. I never really watched a game closely. So Len knows more than me, for sure, ten year gap or not.”

Liam and Leon both rolled their eyes at Barry. Len tried not to smirk. He might not be a cool uncle yet, but he was cooler than Barry. Though Len personally found Barry’s lack of cool adorable and endearing.

“Play knee hockey with us, Uncle Len!” Leon demanded. “You can be goalie!”

“Leonard, you forgot an important word…” Lisa prompted.

Leon sighed dramatically, but listened.

“Play knee hockey with us, _please_ , Uncle Len?”

“I’d love to.” Len smiled widely in response.

Knee hockey hadn’t changed in the last ten years, Len found. He knelt in front of the small net in the living room, while the two boys passed a foam ball back and forth with plastic hockey mini-sticks. They kept their knees on the floor, as was the rule. They took turns shooting at the net, and Len tried to keep the ball out of the net with his goalie mini-stick and glove. He didn’t make many saves. Of course he wasn’t trying very hard.

He couldn’t keep the grin from showing on his face, either. He wasn’t really trying to hide it, either. His nephews deserved to know how much fun he was having.

Lisa and her husband stayed a bit away, periodically checking on the cooking dinner. They kept a watchful eye on Len and the boys, but didn’t interfere.

Barry sat on the floor nearby, just watching Len, Leon, and Liam play. Len caught Barry grinning out of the corner of his eye several times. Len was glad he was enjoying the show. Len was too happy to be embarrassed about behaving this way in front of Barry.

After awhile, Laci toddled into the room. She’d been shy up until that point, not saying anything, and determinedly not letting go of her mother’s leg. She still didn’t speak, but walked right up to Barry and crawled in his lap.

Barry blinked at her in clear surprise, but soon put his arms around her for the hug she clearly wanted. Len’s heart warmed at the sight. He couldn’t blame Laci, Barry did look very cuddly. Someday, Len thought, maybe he would be as brave as his niece.

\-------------------------------------

Dinner was nice, filled with mostly meaningless chatter. Lisa put Laci to bed soon after. Len played another few rounds of knee hockey with the boys before it was their bedtime too. They hugged him good-bye and it took all of Len’s willpower to not cry at the gesture.

Lisa went to do the dishes, and none too subtly dragged Barry with her to assist. Len was left alone with Steven. Len eyed the man, not bothering to hide his clear mistrust.

“No offense, Leonard.” Lisa’s husband smiled hesitantly. “But it is a bit late for the shovel talk. Lisa and I have been married nearly nine years now.”

“Oh, if you ever hurt Lisa or those kids, I won’t be using a _shovel_ for what I do to you.” Len let all of his old cold cruelty show in his voice and expression. “I’d make your death slow and so, _so_ painful. I know you know I’m capable of it. I’d take you apart, piece by excruciatingly ripped apart piece, while you screamed and felt it all. I’d make _sure_ of that. By the time I’d be done, there wouldn’t be enough left of you to _need_ a shovel.”

Steven had gone pale and visibly swallowed hard. Len smirked. He wasn’t about to pull punches with his threats, just because he was a bit late giving them.

Steven inhaled sharply and shook his head, getting himself together.

“Well, Lisa won that bet.” Steven chuckled. “I said there was no way you could be as scary as your friend Mick had been, acting in your place when Lisa and I got married. I was wrong.”

Len raised his eyebrows in surprise. He’d have to thank Mick for that later, if Mick let him.

“Lisa also told me you’d never accept any money from her. But we know you don’t have much. Legally you were declared dead. Anything…less than legal you had that Lisa didn’t know about will likely be gone now, too. The volunteer organization Barry’s with won’t be able to keep helping you for long. So I’m going to make the offer.

“ _My_ money. Nothing of Lisa’s, or the kids’ college funds. I have enough, Leonard. I can afford it. You’re _family_ and…ok, if thinking about it that way makes you uncomfortable…instead, think of it as an advance payment for consulting. My jewelry stores still get robbed sometimes. Even Lisa can’t figure out how to make them more secure. She said you might be able to, after you got caught up with what’s changed in the past decade.

“If you’re as good as she says you are, once you shake off the rust, this could lead to more jobs, too. I know a lot of businesses that would pay to have someone like you improve their security.”

Len scowled. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like owing this man anything. But at the same time, he didn’t really want to go back to running heists either. He’d had enough of that life. Len wanted to be around for Lisa’s family, not on the run or in hiding.

Len wanted to be there for Barry, and not as paid help. If Barry became Len’s employer it would complicate things. Barry needed a friend that clearly _wanted_ to be with him, not because they were _paid_ to be there. Len didn’t want to be at odds with the Flash because Captain Cold had to resort to stealing again to get funds, either.

Steven’s offer could be the best for everyone. Begrudgingly, Len accepted.

\------------------------

The night had gone well in the end, Len thought. He hugged Lisa as he and Barry headed out. He even shook Steven’s hand. It was still hard to walk away from that house, even knowing he had an invitation back in a month for Laci’s birthday party.

But Barry walking next to Len helped. It helped a lot. As much as Len cared about Lisa and her kids, they didn’t really need Len right now. Len hadn’t expected them to. He hadn’t been planning to stay, even if Lisa hadn’t asked for some time and distance to accept his return. But Barry needed Len now, like Len needed Barry. That made all the difference.

“Lisa mentioned something to me, while you and Steven talked.” Barry brought up once they were a bit away.

Len nodded. He wasn’t surprised.

“She said she called Mick yesterday and told him you were back.” Barry admitted with a wince.

“It’s alright. I thought she might. I would have preferred to tell him in person, too. But I knew she might need someone to talk to about this. It just made sense she’d call him. It doesn’t change my plan, though. He still deserves to see me in person, not just hear from me over a phone. We should be able to get to his place by tomorrow evening.”

Barry nodded, not protesting. Len hoped this meeting went half as well as the one with Lisa had. But he wasn’t counting on it.


	7. Chapter 7

Barry and Len were taking the overnight train to Keystone City. Mick owned a restaurant there with his partner, called _The TripleB: BBQ and Bakery_. Barry had actually heard of the place before, but he hadn’t realized Mick was one of the owners. It had a reputation for great food and Barry had been meaning to speed over and give it a try. Before everyone had left and he couldn’t be bothered to just for himself, anyway. Apparently Mick was in charge of the BBQ half of the menu. While his partner, a man named Hayden Silas, was an expert baker.

Inside the train car the lights were dimmed for the night. Len had a pillow propped against the window and seemed to be sleeping comfortably against it. Barry tried not to think about how he wished Len had leaned against him to sleep, instead. Or wish he had the courage to lay his head on Len’s shoulder.

Seeing Len with Lisa’s family had really touched Barry. The way Len talked to Leon and Liam, clearly respecting their questions and their thoughts; not dismissing them just because they were young. The way he gave Laci space and didn’t try to force her to be friendly before she was ready. The way he played hockey with the boys. How obviously hard it was for Len to say good-bye to the kids at the end of the visit.

Barry had known Len had a good heart for a long time. But seeing that clear evidence of it, up close and personal, really warmed Barry’s own heart. It further cemented Barry’s desire to help Len find his place in this time, and his hope that that place would be near Barry.

If Len decided to stay with Mick, instead of Barry, at least Keystone was a lot closer to Central than Chicago was. Then Barry felt guilty and selfish. Len deserved to stay wherever he wanted. Len didn’t owe Barry anything. But that didn’t stop Barry from wanting Len to stay right next to him.

Barry sighed and propped his own pillow behind his head. He tilted his seat back the mere few inches it went, again longingly looking at Len’s shoulder. Len’s neck was tilted toward the window; looking long, lovely and inviting. Len’s neck looked like the perfect place for Barry to nuzzle his nose against, maybe give the soft looking skin a few light bites, then….

Barry tightly shut his eyes and grumbled to himself. He was never going to get any sleep if he kept this up. He took a deep breath and tried to calm down. He stubbornly kept his eyes shut, no matter how tempting looking at Len sleeping next to him again was. Eventually, Barry finally fell asleep.

\----------------------------------

Reuniting with Mick went about as well as Len had expected, at first. Then it got worse, before it got better. Typical of their long standing friendship, really.

Len and Barry went into the restaurant Mick co-owned, to quickly catch sight of Mick. He’d clearly been keeping a look out for them, since Lisa had called him beforehand. Mick grunted at them and motioned they move out back behind the restaurant. They did, and Mick promptly punched Len in the face.

Len had been ready for it, braced for it, but took it without trying to dodge or deflect it. He deserved it. He’d have done the same thing if their positions had been reversed. Len could handle a few punches from his old partner. This was an easier way for them to communicate than talking; always had been. Mick would get this out of his system, then they’d move on. Len was fine with it.

But in hindsight, Len should have warned Barry this was likely to happen. Len had figured Barry would begrudgingly let it play out; leave the two former criminal partners to work out their differences the way they knew best. But he’d underestimated Barry’s heroic impulses.

Before Len had realized what was happening, Barry had grabbed Len and flashed them a few blocks away from Mick. This would have been fine, besides some disorientation normal to being suddenly speeded away somewhere, if not for the Negative Speed Force infection.

Len got his first look at Barry using his altered powers then. It was very obviously different. The lightening crackling around them was black, thinly outlined in white. Barry’s face had paled, his cheeks had sunken in, and there was a grey tint to his lips. Barry’s eyes were totally pitch-black. No green or white at all, just completely black. Dark lighting sparked out of the corners of Barry’s eyes. Len’s heart raced in sharp concern for Barry.

Len hadn’t expected this at all. He’d understood Barry’s powers were a danger to the city and people around him, with explosive side effects. He hadn’t realized how clearly dangerous they were to Barry, too. Slowed healing was one thing. This was something entirely different.

“Are you alright?” They both asked in unison.

Barry smiled at the echoed words and that relieved Len, no matter how slightly creepy it looked on the speedster’s oddly grey shaded pale face. Barry sounded like himself and in control. That was the important thing, no matter how demonic he looked.

“He _hit_ you! Why did he hit you? Why did you _let_ him?!” Barry whined. “It looks bad. What if your cheek bone is broken?”

Barry put his hand on Len’s face where Mick’s fist had connected with it. Barry’s skin felt warm, normal. Not unnaturally cold. More to reassure Len that Barry wasn’t in any active danger, no matter how he looked.

The area around them, however, was crackling with energy. There were overturned garbage cans, dented cars, some broken windows in nearby houses. Nothing too extreme. No one screaming or seemingly injured. But enough that the effects of the Negative Speed Force were evident in the path Barry had run to get them there.

“ _You_ look like death warmed over.” Len responded, putting his own hands tenderly on Barry’s face. “Mick was never going to seriously hurt me. He’s not going to follow. We’re not in any danger. So can you turn off the lightning?”

“I…oh _shit_ , I forgot!”

Barry’s eyes widened, then he closed them and took several deep breaths. When Barry opened his eyes, they looked normal again; white, gorgeous green, and regularly sized pupils. Color had returned to Barry’s face and his cheeks had filled back out. No sign of the lightning remained. What did remain was the damage it had done.

Barry looked around, seeing what his powers had done. The anguish and deep guilt was written in every muscle of Barry’s body.

“I fucked up. _Again_.” Barry whispered.

“You made a mistake. You’re human. We make mistakes. And you were trying to protect me. I fucked up, too. I should have warned you that Mick would do that. I let him because I deserved it, after what I put him through.”

“You did not _deserve_ it!” Barry protested earnestly. “You did what you had to do! I…I should have warned you, too. At least told you what I look like when I use the Negative Speed Force. I scared y…that must have freaked you out, seeing me like that.”

“It’s not your best look, I’ll admit. But you were still _you_ , not some possessed zombie, even if you looked like one. That’s the most important thing. I wish I’d known how much of a toll it’s clearly taking on you directly, but now I do. We both neglected to tell each other things. But it’s done now, and nothing to do but move on and do better.

“You did what you thought you should. Same as me.” Len continued. “So what do you say, let’s both try to stop blaming ourselves, ok?  It doesn’t solve anything. All we can do now is walk back to Mick’s, see what damage there is on the way. Then I will actually try and _talk_ to Mick, instead of letting him punch me. Ok?”

Barry’s hands were clenched into firsts. Len took the closest one into his own hand and started rubbing his thumb along the knuckles. Eventually Barry relented, loosened his fist, and took Len’s hand into his. They walked that way back to Mick’s; slowly, holding hands.

The damage wasn’t that bad, thankfully. But it was evident along the entire route that Barry had run. It was as if a hurricane had blown through the streets. There was a lot of property damage. But no one was hurt. No homes were destroyed. It could have been a lot worse.

But seeing it in person put it in perspective for Len. If this was the damage done by Barry just running by, the collateral destruction if Barry used his powers to actually fight someone had to be quite worse in comparison.

As they walked, Barry took it all in, guilt and self reproach still stamped on his face. Len squeezed his hand, wishing he could do more. Len mentally cursed at himself, too. This could have so easily been avoided if Len had just _talked_ more. To Barry beforehand, so he’d known what to expect. To Mick, to try and avoid getting punched.

Len had survived a long time thanks to keeping as much inside himself as possible, not sharing with anyone unless absolutely necessary. But it was time for that to change. It wasn’t going to work now. Not if he wanted to help Barry. And he _did_. More than anything, Len wanted to make this better for Barry. Barry didn’t deserve any of the guilt he was clearly heaping on himself, because his own powers had betrayed him.

Barry needed someone to rely on to help him get through this. If that was going to be Len, like he wanted it to be, Barry had to be able to trust him to be forthcoming. That might not come easily for Len, but he resolved to work on it. For both of them.

As they neared Mick’s restaurant, Barry let go of Len’s hand. Len reluctantly let him. This was the second time now that they’d held hands to comfort each other. It was something they should talk about, probably. Len put it on his mental list. But decidedly low in priority. He didn’t want to make a big deal out of what might have been a little gesture, to Barry. For Len, who had never really held hands with _anyone_ , it definitely meant something. But that didn’t mean it had to for Barry.

They made their way to the back of Mick’s restaurant, to find a smoldering trash fire in the large dumpster there. Doubtlessly thanks to the side effects of Barry speeding Len away. A bemused Mick was watching it burn, though turned toward them as they approached. Mick wasn’t transfixed by the flames then, thankfully.

“As far as grand apologetic gestures go, giving me a bonfire _is_ pretty high on the list.” Mick snorted. “Even if it was unintentional.”

Len smirked, relieved Mick’s anger seemed to be simmering along with the flames.

“Do you…uhm…should we get some water?” Barry offered, hesitantly.

“Nah. It’s a grease fire. The metal dumpster’ll keep it contained until it burns itself out.” Mick answered.

Len knew he should speak now. Say something useful to Mick. But he felt like his tongue was stuck in his mouth, his words frozen there. Why was this so hard?

“So…” Mick looked at Len, unimpressed by his clear discomfort. “Do I get an actual apology now? Heard Lisa got one.”

 “I figured you wouldn’t accept it.” Len answered, spurred on, letting the honesty behind his words show. “I did apologize back then, at the Oculus. And I meant it. I’m sorry, Mick. I’m sorry I couldn’t let you be the one to do it. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you my plan beforehand.”

Mick sighed deeply and turned back to the fire. He looked at it for some long moments before speaking again.

 “What do you want from me, Snart?”

Len winced at the use of his last name, and the defeated sound of Mick’s voice. It was as if the fight had been drained out of him, along with his anger.

“Nothing. I…nothing. I just thought you deserved to know I’m back, to see it in person. But...nothing, it’s nothing. I…I’ll leave and not bother you again, if you want.”

“No, you don’t gotta do that. I just have to be clear, here. I’m out of the game. _Permanently._ I’m not as young as I was; as you still are, apparently. I got a good thing going here. I’m…happy.

“I know I owe you, for saving my life at the Oculus and all. I know we promised to always have each other’s backs. I’ll always be your friend, Lenny. But there are some things I just can’t do anymore. Heists, time travel, all that shit. That’s all behind me, where it belongs. And it’s gonna stay there. I can’t do it anymore. Not even for you.”

Len swallowed hard, tears burning unshed behind his eyes. He hadn’t been planning on asking Mick for anything. He’d known, just by looking at the photos of Mick on the restaurant’s website that Mick was happy there. He could tell that Mick adored his partner, the baker, and they clearly shared more than just a restaurant.

He could also tell that the years had not been kind to Mick’s body. Even built like an ox like he was, time took its toll. Especially the way Mick had lived for so long; jumping into fights with everything he had, almost daily.

Mick was still big, but not quite as heavily muscled. His back was bent differently, just ever so slightly. Not enough that anyone that didn’t know him as well as Len did could tell. But Len had seen it in the photos. In person, Len saw how Mick limped, just a tiny bit, as he walked. Len had felt how Mick’s punch hadn’t had as much momentum behind it as it once had. And not because Mick had been holding back.

It had still hurt when his fist connected with Len’s face. Mick could still clearly take care of himself. But Len plainly saw the difference, too.

It wasn’t so much that it likely hampered Mick’s day to day life here much, thankfully. But it was enough that Mick had rightfully retired from adventures.

Len was glad Mick was taking care of himself. He was glad Mick was being firm in what he was capable of now. Len didn’t need anything from Mick. Len could get by fine on his own.

By looking at Mick, Len saw the passage of time stamped on his old friend. It hurt to see. It hurt to know that he’d never be standing back to back with Mick again, as their twin guns shot out heat and cold, mirroring each other. It hurt. It hurt more than Len had expected it to.

Barry bumped into Len then, his shoulder colliding with Len’s. It jerked Len out of his daze. He looked at Barry, who was looking at Len in obvious concern. Barry had done that on purpose, clearly. The speedster knew better than to try and take Len’s hand in front of Mick. Len wouldn’t have been comfortable with that. Not yet. But Barry was trying to offer Len comfort in the form of physical contact in a less obvious way. Len smiled warmly at the gesture, no longer feeling about to cry.

Len wasn’t alone. He had Barry. At least for now.

Mick was happy. Mick wasn’t alone either.

All things considered, things had turned out pretty well for the former criminal pair. Len reminded himself. There was no point in mourning things that used to be. They were both alive. They both had futures yet to enjoy. Len was grateful for that.

“I’m alright, Mick. I don’t need anything from you. You don’t owe me anything. Honestly. I’m glad you’re happy. I’m not here to ask you for anything. I just wanted to see you.”

Mick looked at him for a moment, gauging his sincerity. Then Mick sighed in relief and nodded, satisfied.

“I just had to get that out, you understand. If I didn’t, and you asked, I…I might have said yes. Hayden would never forgive me. He’s put so much effort into getting me to buy into the whole _self care_ thing.

“But I _am_ glad you’re alive, Lenny. Glad I could get in one good shiner too, for old time’s sake. Glad Scarlet got in the way before it was more, too. Coulda hurt my hand on your hard head, if I’d kept up.”

Len smirked, taking the attempt at humor as it was intended. Barry huffed next to him, but didn’t say anything.

“Well, you’re here. May as well come in and eat, meet Hayden. Come on, both of you.”

Mick gestured to the restaurant, then turned and headed inside, not waiting for confirmation.

Barry moved to follow, but Len grabbed his wrist first. He gave Barry’s arm a hard squeeze of thanks, and smiled fondly at the speedster. Barry blinked in surprise, then grinned widely back. They walked into the restaurant together, Barry’s stomach growling as the savory smells hit them. Barry had likely never eaten Mick’s cooking before, Len realized. Well, he was in for a treat.

\------------------------------

The food was great, Barry admitted to himself as he ate. He still needed to take in a lot of calories a day, despite how his powers had changed. He couldn’t speed eat without risking the back lash from the Negative Speed Force. But he still needed to eat a lot. So he appreciated how much food Mick kept putting in front of him. There were chicken wings, ribs, shish-ka-bob, fries, salad, and rolls. All were delicious.

It didn’t exactly make up for the way Mick had acted, in Barry’s opinion. Punching Len, then telling him none too gently that he couldn’t count on Mick for much, had done nothing to endear Mick to Barry. Len had an ice pack that he pressed periodically to his cheek now, as they ate. Even if Barry understood and respected Mick’s desire to move away from the super power related lifestyle, there had to have been a better way to put it than Mick had. He’d hurt Len, and not just from the punch, Barry could tell.

Barry tired to not hold it against him, since Len clearly didn’t. And it was much the same as Barry’s own family and friends had decided; that they’d just had enough of the near constant danger and struggles and wanted different paths in life. But still, Len had it bad enough trying to reenter the world, without his oldest friend coming down on him that hard.

Well, Barry would just have to be extra supportive of Len to make up for it. Barry would do that happily. Len seemed to accept it, too. He hadn’t acted annoyed or frustrated by Barry’s clumsy attempt at unspoken reassurance out back. He’d smiled at Barry and seemed genuinely happy. So Barry focused on that, rather than his own annoyance at Mick.

Dessert came, and it was a variety of different cheesecakes. Barry enjoyed them, almost as much as he enjoyed watching Len eat the one slice he did. A peanut butter chocolate one. The way Len’s lips wrapped around each bite, the way his tongue darted out to lick the chocolate sauce, the way he clearly deeply enjoyed the taste. Barry had never been jealous of a fork or pastry before.

Barry was going to have to brush up on his much neglected cooking skills, since Len was going to stay with him. If he could manage to make something half as good as this food, he thought he might impress Len.

Mick introduced them to Hayden, and he seemed nice enough. Mick had met him when the Legends had saved his cooking class from time displaced giant rats. Mick had been very heroic apparently, rescuing Hayden while not killing any rats either. It wasn’t the rats’ fault they’d been enlarged and set loose at the wrong time. Hayden had been impressed both by Mick’s heroics, kindness toward animals, and love of food and cooking. They dated casually while Mick stayed with the Legends, then more seriously once Mick decided his time travel days were done. In the end, they opened this restaurant together.

That was….quite a story, though Barry was admittedly distracted by the food and only half paid attention to it. Hayden soon had to get back to running the restaurant though, so Mick could spend time with them. Len and Mick ended up talking about their other former team mates on the Waverider.

“Sara got back together with Nyssa.” Mick mentioned. “They got married about two years ago. Decided to reform the League, but keep it more on the moral side. They call it the League of Warriors, since apparently League of Legends was already taken. I’ll give you their number. They won’t work for free, but might be up for some sort of exchange, if you want to try them.”

Barry had heard of them, but he’d never had the number. He could have gotten it from Oliver. They still kept up. But he had never really considered it.

“Raymond got married, too. A girl from another time period. He settled down there with her. I’m not allowed to say when, though. It’s very hush-hush.” Mick continued.

That, Barry hadn’t heard. Len nodded and didn’t press for more details. He seemed fine letting it go, so Barry did too.

“Haven’t heard from Kendra and Carter in years. They kind of fell off the map after we finished Savage. Figured they wanted their privacy. Always were more into wanting a normal life, anyway.”

Len nodded, as Mick continued. Barry had almost completely forgotten about the Hawks, he was a bit ashamed to admit.

“Jax took over as Captain of the Waverider. He’s got his own crew of Legends now. Think Barry knows how to contact them.” Mick mentioned.

Barry nodded. He did. He still didn’t like to. They had their own responsibilities, just like Oliver and Bruce did. Barry wanted to be able to take care of his own problems, his own city, himself.

Or with Len. Maybe with a new team, like Len had suggested. But a team based in Central, willing to devote themselves to that. A new Team Flash. Not someone else’s team that Barry felt like he was imposing on. Len seemed to understand that.

Len seemed to understand and accept that the other Legends had moved on, too. He seemed in no hurry to contact or visit any of them. Barry guessed that made sense. They’d barely been together for a year, ten years ago. He knew Len cared about them, but not like he cared about Mick and Lisa. He seemed content to leave them be, knowing they were all off doing well on their own.

Even Barry felt stuffed with food by the time they finished catching up. Len had explained how he’d made it back, though Lisa had already told Mick the basics. Len thanked Mick for looking in on Lisa in his absence. Mick told Len about other people they’d both known that Len asked after, likely part of their former criminal crews. Barry only half listened, not really feeling it was his place to try and keep up.

Len told Mick he was staying with Barry. But he didn’t elaborate on Barry’s issues with his powers. Mick didn’t ask, even with the fire Barry had inadvertently set out back. Barry appreciated that. It wasn’t something he wanted to try and explain right then.

Eventually, their talk naturally slowed down. It was all a lot to take in. After all that; ten years worth of news really, any more seemed like too much. So they made their good-byes.

To Len’s obvious surprise, Mick grabbed Len and wrapped him in a crushing hug. After a few seconds of hesitation, Len hugged back. Barry smiled at the obvious affection there. He let go of his lingering resentment toward Mick. The man obviously wasn’t the best at communicating or dealing with emotions. But he did clearly care about Len.

“Call me sometimes. Let me know how things are going.” Mick grumbled. “Come visit, the both of you, at least once in awhile. You won’t get better food anywhere else.”

They agreed and headed out. The train ride back to Central was short enough that Barry would be back in his own bed that night, with Len….with Len on the couch, Barry mentally scolded himself. He wouldn’t press for more. Not too quickly. They were both feeling this out. They were both getting used to new situations. But Barry didn’t think he was being too delusional to hope for more with Len, eventually. Once they were both ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s been a month since I last updated this! I’m struggling a bit with it. I feel like I _should_ write certain things, but that isn’t exactly what I _want_ to write. 
> 
> Since it is a fanfic and I’m doing it for fun, I have to remember that I _should_ write what I _want_. Sometimes it’s hard to convince myself of that. But if I don’t, writing at all comes to a screeching halt. 
> 
> So if that means glossing over certain things I don’t really feel like developing that fully so I can get to the parts I am more excited about, then so be it. I do hope readers understand and still enjoy!


	8. Chapter 8

Len managed to convince Barry to take the next day off work from the police station, despite their visiting trip being over, though it was a near thing. Barry had protested that he needed to save the days he could miss work for when there were actual emergencies, or he needed the recovery time. That had almost made sense, besides the fact that Len knew Barry needed the recovery time right then. Not physically, but mentally. Not being able to use his powers or risk doing more harm than good was weighing heavily on Barry.

And Len wanted the company. Admitting that had been what’d done it, in the end. Barry was willing to agree to take time off to help Len, but not himself. It was stance that Len could relate to. It’d always been much easier for Len to do something he didn’t want to if he knew someone he cared about needed it. Admitting he needed something himself…that was much harder. But he was working on it. He’d help Barry work on it too, gradually.

Len knew he wasn’t the best company that day, so he appreciated it all the more that Barry spent the time with him without further complaint. Len was still processing everything. It took time to absorb everything that’d happened and changed while he’d been gone. And he’d only scratched the surface of it. He’d only really found out what’d changed that directly affected him; his family and friends. He hadn’t even begun to consider the current state of the world, recent history, politics, and all the rest. But even a mind as talented at processing information as Len’s was, still needed time to take it all in and make sense of it, accept it as real.

So they spent the day in companionable silence, for the most part. Barry put on soft classical music, then read a book. Len just sat and thought. He considered everything, ordering and rearranging it inside his mind until it made more sense. Barry being nearby helped, even if they barely said a word to each other. Barry seemed to understand, on some level, why Len needed this time. And why he didn’t want to spend it alone.

By the end of the evening, Len was comfortable enough with everything to let Barry return to work the following day. Len felt more settled than he had since he’d gotten free of the Time Stream. And he had a solid plan for how he was going to spend his time on his own, now.

\--------------------------------------

Going back to work was difficult. Not because of work, but because he was leaving Len. Part of Barry still felt like the entire thing was a fever dream, that he’d come home to find Len had never been there, that Barry had just imagined the entire thing. That Len would still be dead.

But that didn’t happen, thankfully. Barry went home to his little apartment after work and Len was there. Every day, for a week, and then two, Len was still there. Sometimes Len cooked for them, sometimes Barry picked something up on the way home, sometimes they made something together. Sometimes Len was working on something, some days he was napping, or watching TV, but he was always there. He was never gone. He was always there when Barry got home.

That meant more to Barry than he could say. Barry wanted to say _something_ , even if he couldn’t manage to get out the real depth of his feelings yet. But he didn’t want to rush Len. Len was adapting, learning, taking in ten years of news and changes in the world. He was getting himself caught up on current technology, laws, and culture. He was also researching possible people for the new Team Flash. He had more than enough on his plate to adapt to, for now.

Eventually, Barry would broach the topic of deeper feelings. For now, bit by bit, Len and Barry were becoming closer friends. They ate together, talked about Barry’s CSI work together, talked about possible team members to approach together, watched TV together, went to sleep…not together, but at the same time.

Barry had known he was lonely. But he’d underestimated just how much happier, more secure, more fulfilled he’d feel with someone to come home to every day. Or maybe, it wasn’t just that it was _someone_. Maybe, he just liked being with _Len_ that much.

\------------------------------

Not every day went well, of course. Central City couldn’t be expected to go that long without a meta threat. When one did pop up, Barry almost sped out to deal with it. Only Len being there, to tell him to wait and let the police try and handle it first, held Barry back. In the end, the CCPD did manage it. They had decent anti-meta tech and were trained for it. No one was hurt, thankfully. But they might be, next time.

Barry and Len resolved to start contacting potential team members soon. They’d narrowed the field down to a short list, compared to where they’d started. Len just wanted to wait for a bit more conformation on some information before they began meeting and interviewing candidates. Once they did start, they wanted to be ready to get everyone together and get going without further delay.

To that end, Len had advised Barry to use the insurance money and rebuild Star Labs…to a certain extent. Len had proposed a plan to make Star Labs appear functional and in use again, as a decoy. Anyone familiar with the Flash knew he’d been based out of those labs. It wasn’t a very well kept secret. So making it appear to reopen again would draw out potential enemies that saw it as a target.

In reality, the new Team Flash would be based out of nondescript warehouses they would convert into their base of operations. There was an entire block of them that had been abandoned for years, bought for cheap easily enough. Under them was a string of tunnels connecting the buildings that most people seemed to have forgotten the existence of. But Len remembered. He’d been considering them for safe houses for a large crew, if he ever took one that extensive on. He never had. Until now. Even ten years later, the warehouses had never been converted into anything else. The tunnels would provide escape routes and places to hide, as well as places to booby trap against intrusions or use to lure in adversaries.

 It was just the beginning of security measures Len wanted to take. Barry agreed without protest. Anything to keep everyone safe.

\-----------------------------

The next day that didn’t go well included Barry being informed at work that there’d been a shooting at his apartment building. He’d almost sped off toward Len before he even heard the details. It hadn’t been Barry’s apartment, but one on his floor. Domestic disturbance, the officer that Barry barely knew informed him. A woman had shot her husband, after he had threatened their children. He hadn’t died, but was in critical. The woman was in lock-up, but it would likely be ruled a case of self defense in the end. For now, the kids were with their grandparents. It could have been a lot worse.

Still, Barry hurried home to Len as soon as he could, but not at super speed. Len had responded to Barry’s texts and seemed alright. But it wasn’t as simple as that, Barry knew. Especially considering the circumstances and how they’d doubtlessly remind Len unpleasantly of his own childhood.

“Did you know them? The family down the hall?” Len asked, pacing, when Barry got home.

Just that, in greeting, no hello. Len kept circling the room, not looking at Barry. Barry followed Len’s movements with his eyes, worried.

“Not really. No more than to say hello in passing.” Barry admitted. “I never knew…never guessed they were having…”

“Yeah. Usually no one ever does. They know how to hide it, that type.”

Len’s voice was full of bitterness and pain. Barry desperately wished he knew what to say.

“Did you…did you hear them? Today, I mean, before the…” Barry stumbled over his words, unsure.

“I heard arguing. Then the shot fired. I waited here to see what would happen rather than run over there without knowing anything about the situation. I didn’t hear kids. If I had, I would have…I would have done something. But kids that live with that, they learn to keep quiet.”

Barry winced, knowing exactly the first hand knowledge Len was relating there. Len stopped pacing and sat down on the couch, looking defeated. Barry sat next to him immediately, without consciously deciding to first. Len eyed him for a moment before continuing, but didn’t seem uncomfortable at Barry’s closeness.

“Barry, I…” Len sighed. “I need a weapon. Something better than a kitchen knife, which is all I had today. The police got here quickly, and they were decent, unlike some cops. I heard that much. I didn’t have to go out there. I didn’t have to get involved.

“But if it’d gone differently, I…I feel helple….I feel like I can’t defend myself, or others, properly without a real weapon. If that…if that means you don’t want me staying here, I understand. But I’ve always had guns available, everywhere I’ve lived. I’ve known how to use them since I was five. Without that I feel…I feel exposed.”

It was taking a lot out of Len to say all this, Barry knew. He was admitting something he doubtlessly felt was a weakness. Barry appreciated his honestly, even as he hated that Len was clearly afraid Barry was about to argue with him. As if Barry would deny Len the ability to feel safe or stay there, over not wanting a gun in the apartment.

Instead, Barry held out his hand to Len, offering. Len blinked at it for a moment, then took it, gripping hard.

It wasn’t something Barry would have ever considered in the past; offering to hold hands with Captain Cold. But now, it was becoming a habit. Such a simple gesture, a little touch, but it seemed to mean something to both of them. It felt intimate in a different way than kissing would, Barry thought. Maybe because there was no sexual charge to it. It was just comfort; a connection. Not that Barry would have protested a sexually charged connection with Len, at a more opportune time. But just this was nice, reassuring and not demanding. Barry ran his thumb along Len’s in small circles.

“You can stay here. I _want_ you to stay here. I’ll get you a gun…guns, maybe. I _am_ a cop, even if I don’t carry often.” Barry reminded him. “I don’t have anything against having a few guns in the apartment. I trust you with them. It’s not an issue.”

Len blinked more, clearly surprised. He then shook his head, but he didn’t let go of Barry hand.

“You don’t have to get them for me. I can manage that on my own, by now. I just needed to know you’ll be ok with them being here.”

“No! I mean…yes, you can keep guns here. But no, you’re not getting them on your own! You still don’t have a real legal ID. You don’t need to use your fake one, possibly raise flags, or use an illegal gun dealer. I can get a few guns in my name for you. It’s not a problem!”

Len narrowed his eyes at Barry, clearly not entirely buying it. But he didn’t pull away, either. Barry squeezed their hands together in reassurance. He’d told the truth. This was a minor thing he could do for Len, as far as Barry was concerned. He knew Len would be a responsible gun owner, and he understood why having the guns would reassure Len. Barry wanted Len to feel safe, to _be_ safe. Being able to protect himself, and others if needed, with a weapon was part of that. Joe had always had guns in the house while Barry was growing up. It wasn’t like he wasn’t used to them being around.

Eventually, Len agreed to let Barry handle getting him some guns. The rest of the evening soon fell back into their usual pattern.

A few days later, Barry brought home two standard hand guns and ammo. He also lugged in a larger, but very familiar case. It’d been worth the time and effort to find it, just to see Len’s eyes light up in immediate recognition and delight.

“It’s not working right now.” Barry cautioned. “It was damaged when Ezra rampaged through Star Labs. But we had a few of them we used by then. This one was left in the best condition. I salvaged what parts I could find of the other ones. Between the two of us, we should be able to get it fixed.”

Len opened the case and ran his hands reverently over the cold gun. His eyes seemed to glitter and his mouth twisted up into a pleased grin. He picked it up and turned it over, clearly taking note of the dents and breaks. But doubtlessly already starting to plan how to fix them. Barry tried to not be jealous of a _gun_.

After a few more moments of running his hands along the length, Len put the cold gun back in the case. He looked up at Barry and seemed to be studying him, considering something. Barry raised his eyebrows in confusion.

Apparently having made whatever decision he was considering, Len stepped toward Barry with his arms out. Barry was expecting a hand shake, so he froze when Len enveloped him in a hug.

Barry had been hugged by a Leonard Snart before. But he’d given Barry a warning. More importantly, as nice as Leo was, he had never been _Barry’s_ Len. It wasn’t the same. Not at all.

“Thank you.” Len whispered directly into Barry’s ear.

That was enough to jolt Barry out of his daze. He hugged Len back, hard.

“Well…I mean, it’s fitting…it…it _fit_ you. The cold gun _always_ fit you. Even though it wasn’t originally made for you, and other people used it afterward, it always…it always seemed like _yours_.”

Len pulled back a little, looking Barry in the eyes, but keeping his hands on his sides.

“Kind of like how speed suits _you_ , Barry. You’re _meant_ to be the Flash, even if others wear the mantle sometimes and a team backs you up. _You’re_ the Flash, Barry. And we’re getting you your proper powers back. Just like you brought me my gun back. We’ll fix both, together.”

Barry swallowed hard, suddenly choked up. He pulled Len back in for another hug. Len let him, and hugged back. They pulled apart, eventually. Neither said anything about the new level of closeness they’d just shared. But Barry was fairly certain they both felt the significance of it.

\----------------------------------------------------

Before Len had realized it, a month had passed and it was nearly Laci’s birthday. They hadn’t yet begun approaching people to be members of the new Team Flash, though Len had several feelers out and a clear plan how to proceed. Len and Barry agreed to hold off until after the party.

Seeing the city could survive this long without the Flash’s constant intervention was doing Barry good, Len thought. The crime rate _was_ up, but most of it was petty offenses. No near disasters; nothing even close. It was only a matter of time until that changed, until someone noticed the Flash hadn’t been seen in awhile and tried to pull something major. But hopefully not before their new team was ready to deal with it. And in the mean time, Barry could see for himself that he could take a vacation for a week or two every so often without any major harm.

Barry had planned to go with Len to Laci’s party. Lisa had been happy enough to include him in the invitation. But as the date neared, a court case needing Barry to testify as the CSI handling the evidence came up. Barry begrudgingly canceled and left Len to go on his own.

It was the first time Len and Barry had been separated by so much distance since Len had reemerged from the Time Stream. Neither of them seemed happy about it, but it couldn’t be avoided. No one else could fill in for Barry at court. Len wasn’t about to miss his niece’s birthday just because he was irrationally anxious at being so far away from Barry.

As the train sped along, away from Central and Barry, Len felt more and more tense. It was almost as if he could feel the tied thread between them, the strings being pulled more and more taunt the further away he got. But that was ridiculous. It didn’t work like that. Len was just having separation anxiety, after his trauma from the Oculus and Barry being the one constant that had gotten him through that. It was normal, not magical. It would go away in time. At least, that was what Len told himself.

Distraction helped. He got to Chicago the evening before the party, would stay for the full day of Laci’s birthday, then leave the following morning. Once he was at Lisa’s, as she insisted he take the guest room rather than find a hotel, he could focus on his family. _His_ family; which now included three amazing children that he already loved, and a brother-in-law that he begrudgingly respected. It still blew Len’s mind a little to have this, now.  

Only after dinner and everyone had settled down to sleep for the night, did Len again focus on Barry. Missing him was a dull ache in the back of his mind, like a tension headache. He took out his phone, trying to resist the urge to text the speedster and check that he was alright. To his relief, he didn’t have to. Barry had already sent a message asking if he’d gotten to Lisa’s ok.

Len replied, and they shared a few short simple texts back and forth. They said nothing of real substance, but Len still felt immensely better.

Len managed to sleep, though he woke the next morning from a nightmare that he couldn’t quite remember, in a cold sweat.

\-----------------------------------------

Barry missed Len like he missed being able to use his speed. It was like some essential part of himself, something he relied on, was suddenly denied him. Which was ridiculous! Len had only been back a little over a month. Barry had been without him for ten years, had never really even been _that_ close to him before that, and now…now Barry felt like every muscle in his body was strung tight with the desire to run straight to Len.

It would take him less than an hour; to run there to Lisa’s and see Len…if he could use his speed. Which he couldn’t, _shouldn’t_ , wouldn’t. He’d leave a trail of destruction across states, if he did. So of course he wouldn’t. But he _wanted_ to, so badly!

Not being able to let himself use his speed, plus not being able to be near Len, doubled Barry’s anxiety. One or the other, he thought he could handle. But both together, now, it was almost more than he could stand. He barely made it through his part of the trial. He hadn’t done worse as the CSI explaining evidence in court since his friends had given him amnesia, in their botched attempt to defeat Savitar so many years ago. But he managed somehow and the criminal got prosecuted as they should; fairly.

Going home to an empty apartment was the worst. Spending the evening alone, eating dinner alone, for the first time since Len reappeared in his life was really rough. It shouldn’t be that hard! Barry thought. He knew Len would be back in a few days. But he still felt empty and aimless without Len near him.

The texts from Len helped. Just knowing he was safe and responding helped. The photos helped more. To Barry’s surprise, Len asked if he wanted to see photos from the party as they texted the night afterward. Len seemed hesitant, asking rather than just sending. But even that was more than Barry had expected. He enthusiastically agreed. That Len wanted to share them with Barry warmed his heart.

The first he texted to Barry was a photo of Lisa holding Laci in her lap; both in sparkly party dresses. Lisa’s was gold, while Laci’s was pink. Both wore glittery cardboard tiaras to match their dresses.

Len sent a photo of all three of the kids together, looking a bit forced to stay still long enough for the photo, but adorable. The boys wore cardboard top hats, black but still glittery. Len sent one of Laci with the stuffed polar bear and matching picture book that Barry had helped Len pick out as gifts. Barry smiled. Apparently Laci liked the presents. He wondered if Len had read the book aloud to her.

But the one that Len sent last was Barry’s favorite, and sent his heart racing. It was of Len himself, holding Laci. Laci was shoving cake into her uncle’s mouth, icing already smeared across Len’s cheek from an obvious earlier attempt. Len’s blue eyes were open wide in surprise toward the camera, no doubt snapped by Lisa without his permission. But even that couldn’t hide the clear happiness and fondness on Len’s face. Laci was no longer wearing her pink cardboard tiara. It was crookedly sitting atop Len’s head. Barry grinned so wide that his face ached.

That Len sent that to Barry of his own free will, with no bribes or threats involved…it really showed how far they’d come. Len trusted Barry enough to share this moment with him. A moment of simple happiness with his niece, but a moment that clearly showed just how much of a softy Len could be for the right people.

Years ago, Captain Cold would have clutched that evidence to his chest and made sure it never got anywhere near the Flash. He would have seen it as a sign of weakness. Now, Len was sharing it with Barry as if it were nothing. But it wasn’t nothing. It meant a great deal, and Barry knew it. That knowledge gave Barry the courage to text back what he really wanted to say.

_“I miss you.”_

The seconds dragged while Barry waited for a response.

_“I’ll be there by the time you get home from work tomorrow.”_

It wasn’t an, ‘I miss you too.’ But it was enough, for now. Barry fell asleep soon after, with a fond smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter came together smoother than I had expected. Thanks so much for the comments of support! It always makes my day to know people are enjoying my writing!


	9. Chapter 9

Saying good bye to his sister and the kids was difficult. But Len left with an open invitation from Lisa to return whenever he wanted. Her apprehension about his being alive and himself had apparently been relieved enough for that now. It didn’t mean he’d be going anywhere alone with the children, no matter how much the boys were already begging to let him take them to watch a hockey game, and Laci had warmed to him during the party. Lisa would be too cautious for that for a long time yet. But it was a big step.

Still, he was looking forward to being back in Central with Barry. No matter how much it hurt to leave his newfound family, Len still felt pulled toward Barry. He felt like he had a purpose with the speedster; a challenge and a mission. As much as he loved Lisa’s kids, he knew he wouldn’t be content to just settle down nearby and work security development cases for companies. Maybe someday he’d retire. But not someday soon. He still longed for more excitement and adventure than that. He longed for more with _Barry._

The train ride back to Central was uneventful. Len felt himself relax more with every passing mile that got him closer to home, as if he was finally moving in the right direction again. He wasn’t sure if it was lingering side effects from following the thread to Barry for so many years, or just knowing he had a plan to follow in that direction. He resolved to not worry about it, for now.

If it continued for too long, he would contact John and badger him about it. But he didn’t want to jump the gun if it was nothing. He’d been gone for ten years. As well as he’d been acclimating to his new situation, some things just took more time to feel normal again. It was only natural.

Len made it back to their apartment by early afternoon. He wasn’t sure when he’d started thinking of it as _theirs_ , rather than just _Barry’s_. Len was still sleeping on the couch. He didn’t pay rent. The place really wasn’t big enough for two people. But Barry had given him his own set of keys. Len didn’t want to leave and Barry didn’t ask him to. So Len supposed it was theirs, well enough, for now. But sooner or later, some other arrangement would have to be reached. Len didn’t want to sleep on a couch forever. Moving to a better apartment would be ideal. But Len didn’t want to leave Barry, and he wasn’t ready to ask the speedster to move with him.

Len planned to set up bunkers in one of the warehouses for the new Team Flash. They’d doubtlessly need a place to sleep when they needed to work late, and inevitably when people got injured to recover. But he wouldn’t encourage anyone, himself included, to make a habit of it. Spending too much time there, having a lot of the team located in one place too often, made them more vulnerable to attack.

The blueprints of the block of warehouses were laid out on the coffee table in front of him, even though Len had them mostly memorized already. Len ticked off plans in his head, while he fidgeted with a pen, rolling the writing instrument around between his fingers as he thought.

One warehouse would be for their command center, with the medical area and sleep areas nearby. One warehouse for training, with nothing too vital in it in case of accidents. One section of tunnel in good repair and sturdy, one section nearly ready to collapse on anyone unwary. One…

Len heard the key turn in the door of the apartment and set the pen down. He didn’t move from his position on the couch, but shifted his hand to the hilt of the repaired cold gun under the couch. It was the right time for Barry to be home, but Len didn’t believe in taking unneeded risks. Only once Barry was in the apartment and had locked the door behind him did Len take his hand off the gun.

Barry smiled widely at Len, and Len smiled back. Len itched to jump off the couch and pull Barry into a hug. But he’d initiated their last hug, when Barry had given him the cold gun. Len didn’t want to make it a habit; him being the first to draw them together. He needed Barry to take the leap first, at least once. He needed to know it was something Barry wanted enough to make the move himself, without Len’s prompting. Until then, or until one of them actually brought up talking about it, Len would wait.

Barry shifted on his feet and seemed to be considering it, then. Len felt his breath catch in his throat, hopeful, but refusing to move first or show any sign of his anticipation. Barry didn’t come to Len, in the end. He headed to the kitchen instead, getting a drink and asking Len if he wanted anything.

Not today then. Len was a very patient man. He could wait. But with Barry’s back safely turned, Len let the disappointment show on his face.

\--------------------------------------

Things moved quickly after Len got back from Laci’s party. Barry and Len started meeting prospective members of their new team. They might be Team Flash in name, but Barry thought of them as much Len’s team as his. Barry suggested, on the way home from a successful interview with a candidate, that Len was fitting for their leader. But Len shook his head and turned that down.

“This is a _partnership_ , Barry. I can take the lead in the planning stages of any case. I do like to plan. I can direct the team while you’re busy out there, if need be. But in the _field_ , this is _your_ show.

“Your reflexes, your ability to find and process information and scope out an area, will always be much faster than anyone else’s on this team. You’re smart, Barry. You can take charge of this. This is _your_ team.

“Never hesitate to ask me for help or advice, if you want it. But never wait for my approval or instructions, if you already know what you need to do. Once it’s back to normal, your speed is our great asset. It’s lessened every time you have to check with someone else before you act. So _don’t._

“If we disagree about how something was handled, and I’m sure we will, we’ll talk about it. We’ll work through it. But I won’t become a crutch for you. You can run without anything of that sort. I’ll just be behind you, watching your back, not holding you up.”

Barry swallowed hard at that, choked up and pausing on the sidewalk on the way home. No one had ever said anything like that to him before, and meant it. No one had ever trusted him like that before.

Barry had followed Eobard, so many years ago, when he’d thought he was Harrison Wells and a friend. He’d followed Joe and Captain Singh at the CCPD. He’d followed Cisco, and then Harry, when they’d tried to fill the void Eobard had left. He’d followed Oliver, even when the Green Arrow had said Barry was in charge. He’d followed Iris, after she thought it was her duty to take over when he was in the Speed Force, until she’d realized how much she hated it and went back to being a reporter full time. He’d followed Bruce when he formed the League, because of course Batman led. Then Barry had been on his own, with no one to answer to…but no one to comfortably turn to, either. He’d never been told to lead, not really, not for long.

That _Len_ , master planner, master of wanting everything done _his_ way, had that much faith in Barry…that was as much as Barry could take. He couldn’t hold back anymore.

Barry grabbed Len’s hand and pulled him into a tight hug. Len froze for a second, but then hugged back.

“You _do_ know we’re in the middle of the street, right?” Len huffed against Barry’s ear.

“We’re not in the _middle_ of the street!” Barry disagreed. “We’re on the sidewalk, near a building. There’s plenty of room for people to walk by us. But I…I’ll stop, if you want.”

“If I wanted you to stop, I’d have pushed you away.” Len growled, tightening his hold on Barry.

Barry could do nothing to that but grin as wide as possible. Later, he wished he’d managed to demonstrate some of that fast thinking that Len was so sure he had. If it had occurred to him then, maybe Barry would have taken it further and kissed Len. Once the moment was gone and they pulled apart, Barry didn’t have the confidence to draw Len back in for a kiss.

But then again, maybe that was something best left for somewhere private. Len had protested the public aspect of the hug, at first. He might not be comfortable with more displays of affection in public.

Eventually, Barry would do it. He promised himself. When the moment felt right.

They _did_ hold hands the rest of the walk home. So all in all, Barry definitely counted it a win.

\-----------------------------

They’d gotten the team together faster and more easily than Len had expected. Len had hoped they’d narrowed the list down enough to not give any hints of their intentions to anyone that didn’t work out. Not everyone they’d met had turned out to be the right fit, but most had. Len felt confident they could all work together and make Central City a better place for everyone. Barry agreed, as the two of them surveyed their assembled team. They were all meeting together for the first time, in the main warehouse that was to be their base.

Serenity glared at Len, and he smirked back. She didn’t particularly like him. Sara’s influence, no doubt. That was fine. Liking him wasn’t necessary for this job. Listening to him was, and Len was confident she could manage that, regardless of her personal dislike.

They’d contacted Sara’s League of Warriors for personnel recommendations, thinking a skilled…non-assassin, but very much like an assassin, just without the killing…would be useful. Sara had been less than thrilled that Len hadn’t called her sooner and told her he was back. Len had been completely unapologetic and absolutely refused to share details of how he’d done it with her. It might not hurt to tell her, but it was none of her business. Len wasn’t in the habit of sharing with anyone if it wasn’t necessary, unless he felt particularly close to them.

Len and Sara had been getting close at one time, but that was ten years ago. No hard feelings, neither owed the other anything, from his perspective. They were both at very different places in life now. No need to rekindle a connection that’d never fully formed in the first place.

She didn’t disagree exactly, but she still felt responsible for any former Legends and wanted to be kept informed of their status. She had never been _his_ captain, he’d reminded her. And he didn’t see Rip ever giving a damn where Len had ended up. Again, she hadn’t disagreed, but had scowled about it.

Len secretly suspected she might feel guilty for his ‘death’, and was projecting her frustration with herself onto him. But she certainly wasn’t going to admit that, even if she was aware of it. And Len wasn’t going to suggest it.

Regardless, it had been a bit tense between them and Serenity had picked up on it. But Sara had still recommended Serenity as a capable warrior that wanted to stretch her wings outside the League. Serenity proved to be as capable as Sara had promised, despite being all of 5’1 and preferring to wear her dark black hair in twin buns on the top of her head.

“If you call me Princess Leia or Sailor Moon, I will kick your ass!” She had promised them.

Len, very generously, did not. He also did not tell her that Serenity sounded like a stripper name to him. Barry, however, when he found out her real name was in fact Usagi, was having a hard time resisting making the Sailor Moon crack. Len was glad he never personally got into anime.

The next member of their team also came highly recommended, this time by Oliver. He used the moniker Ragman, though was fine being called his given name of Rory Regan. He had a mythical suit of magic rags.

As unimpressive as that had sounded at first, he’d used them as protection from a nuclear bomb blast more than once. Len knew better than to underestimate magic. With the destructive nature of the backlash from Barry’s Negative Speed Force powers, some magic to help them keep that contained while they figured out a solution was ideal.

Rory himself seemed sweet and was eager to help. Though Len could tell he’d had his fair share of pain in the past. He’d taken to wandering a lot over the years and liked the idea of settling down somewhere he could be useful. As much as he respected the Green Arrow, he’d never really felt like he quite fit with their team. He and Barry seemed like they would be fast friends.

The member that Len personally felt the most in tune with was Hartley Rathaway. He’d skirted the edge of the law for years, sometimes breaking it, sometimes helping the old Team Flash. Len respected walking that line. Len had had brief dealings with Hartley in the past.

Len had been considering him as a member of the team that would never now be, his proper Rogues. He was very close to bringing them together when Rip Hunter had come along and changed the course of Len and Mick’s lives.

Len had no use for regrets. But if his Rogues had ever come to fruition, they would have had such _fun_ playing with the Flash! But it was not to be. Not in this life, anyway. Somewhere out there in the multiverse, Len knew there was a version of him loving the game, just as much as that version of Barry was.

Len pushed the memory aside. Thoughts like that was the way to get lost in the Time Stream. Even though that was no longer a present danger, Len would never be comfortable contemplating farfetched ‘what ifs’.

Hartley had been open to joining Team Flash for awhile, but they’d never given him a real invitation. Now they were. He would fill the gap Cisco had left and help them with their technology. His natural competitiveness with Cisco was still there too, Len could tell. Hartley was determined to do better than his former Star Labs coworker. Even if he’d have to call Cisco very long distance now to brag about it.

Along with Hartley came his boyfriend, Doctor Heathcliff Katz. He would fill the team’s medical needs. Hartley endearingly called him Kitty Katz. It was both disgusting and adorable, in Len’s opinion.

In addition to being a medical doctor, Heathcliff was also a Meta. He had the highly useful power to be able to ‘see’ inside a person’s body without the use of medical equipment. Not exactly an x-ray, but a bit like one. The Doctor could look at a person and find what was wrong inside. It helped him diagnose both injury and illness. It also helped him perform operations successfully.

The last member of their new team was named Beth Rosaland. She was the rookie cop that had shot Ezra when the speedster had been rampaging against Barry. Barry knew her from his CSI work, but not well.

As much as Len distrusted cops on principle, the Flash could really use an ‘in’ with the CCPD. Coordinating their efforts with the cops was sometimes for the best. With Joe and Cecile gone, their connection to the police was only Barry himself. That was just asking for Barry’s identity to be revealed. Len had thoroughly looked into Beth and everything he’d found pointed to her being tough, fair, but not so stuck on rules that she’d turn away from a vigilante Meta looking for help.

That the Flash had picked an attractive young policewoman to approach as his contact with the police would just feed into the false persona of how super heroes behaved, that average people loved. There would likely be romance rumors within weeks. All within Len’s plan. The less people understood Barry’s actual personality and interests, the better. Less chance they could use it against him.

Beth might be a rookie cop, but she was far from powerless. She was a Meta, too. Her powers were earth based. Not the plant kind. The moving the earth like a quake kind. The absorbing the earth’s solidity and power kind, so if anyone tried to hit or move her, she stood firmly as stone. She tried to never use them normally. The CCPD certainly had no clue she was a Meta. But she was open to training so she could use her powers more effectively and have an outlet to help people with them.

So five new recruits in total. All thoroughly vetted and interviewed. All as trustworthy as Len could gauge from research and talking to them. Five people that now knew Barry’s secret, and that Len was helping him.

They were a good number, Len thought. More than Barry had worked with some times in the past. But Barry could use that, Len knew. Take some of the weight off his shoulders. The Flash would always be Central’s go-to hero in a time of real crisis. But he didn’t need to be running himself ragged after every little threat. That was what this team would help him achieve.

After, of course, their primary initial goal. To that end, Len addressed the group.

“Now, I know you’re all excited to start working with the Flash protecting our city. But there’s something we have to solve before that will be possible.” Len stated, nodding at Barry to continue.

“It’s called the Negative Speed Force.” Barry began. “I’m infected with it, and I’m counting on all of you to help cure me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the sequences I was worried about writing before, tbh. While I had fun bringing in, creating and introducing these characters for the new team, they're mostly intended to be background support and aren't going to be fully fleshed out. I know that might be considered 'bad' writing, just listing them here rather than showing Len and Barry meeting them one by one...but I just didn't feel like writing it a longer way. I like having them around and they will play a part, but don't want to focus on them too much. Hopefully readers can enjoy it this way, too.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To avoid confusion, remember when I mention Rory, it’s Rory Regan (Ragman). I’ll always call Mick Rory, Mick.

It took the new Team Flash less than two weeks to figure out a solution with an 80% chance of success. Barry felt a bit guilty he hadn’t asked for help sooner. If he had, maybe he would have been free of the Negative Speed Force months ago.

“None of this is your fault, you know.” Heathcliff spoke up, noticing Barry’s mood.

The doctor had proved to be perceptive, patient, and calm. He countered Hartley’s somewhat acidic abrasive personality well. The two made a great couple, from what Barry could tell.

Len had told Barry the same thing, several times; that this wasn’t Barry’s fault. But Barry couldn’t help still feeling guilty.

“It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. Especially when you’ve got a secret as big as being a superhero with malfunctioning powers.” Heathcliff continued. “It also takes courage to let others choose to risk themselves for you and your cause, after friends have gotten hurt doing so in the past. But it’s necessary and you’ve done it. Now, together, we can fix this and move forward stronger.”

Barry nodded. The doctor and Len were right. That didn’t mean Barry suddenly felt absolved of his guilt. But he knew he needed to accept what he’d done and move forward. He had a team now and they had a solution with a good chance of success. That was the most important thing.

Barry and Heathcliff were eating dinner together at the new Team Flash base. The rest of the team had eaten earlier, but both Barry and the doctor had worked late at their day jobs. Not all of the team had chosen to keep up regular jobs along with their Team Flash work. Barry could afford to pay anyone that came onto their team full time, with stocks and other money flow left over from Star Labs. But Heathcliff still wanted to work at a medical clinic, at least part time. And Barry and Beth of course kept their CCPD jobs. 

Beth and Serenity were out patrolling currently. Hartley had made them both costumes, though they were still debating over a codename for Beth. The two women got along quite well and enjoyed working together. With them out keeping watch, the rest of the team could focus on enacting the cure they had planned for Barry.

Len, Hartley, and Rory were double checking the containment part of the solution. Together the three of them had built traps designed to capture and hold the Negative Speed Force. The traps resembled mechanical boxes about the size of standard toasters. They used absolute zero cold tech that Len was familiar with thanks to his knowledge of the cold gun. They also had magic runes of sealing and protection, thanks to Rory’s knowledge of his mythical rags. Combined, they ought to be enough to trap and hold the Negative Speed Force. Inside each box was a small ball that served as a speedster decoy that Hartley had constructed. Much like the decoy Cisco had used to trick the Speed Force into letting Barry go after he’d been trapped there for six months, years ago.

Unfortunately, the decoys themselves weren’t enough to entice the Negative Speed Force to move from Barry to the boxes. They had discovered the Negative Speed Force was attracted to active speedsters. That was how Ezra had gotten it to jump from himself to infect Barry. Ezra had stopped using his powers for weeks, then tricked Barry into showing off for him. Barry had run around Ezra at super speed, while Ezra stood still. The Negative Speed Force had been attracted to active Barry and abandoned stationary Ezra. How Ezra had created the Negative Speed Force in the first place was still a mystery. But hopefully one they’d be alright with not solving.

What they _weren’_ t alright with though, was enacting the solution without the help of other speedsters to draw out the Negative Speed Force. So Barry had to reluctantly call for more help. Wally and Jesse had been happy enough to pop over together from Earth 2. They’d had their cycles of break up and make up, but they’d been solidly together and stationed on Jesse’s Earth for some time by then. Thankfully, Cisco had left enough dimensional jumping tech back at Star Labs that Hartley had set up a portal to travel between Earths easily enough at their new base.

“Please don’t tell Joe or Iris.” Barry had asked Wally after they’d arrived and gotten caught up. “They’ll just worry and want to help. They deserve to be done with all this.”

“If this works, ok, I won’t tell them.” Wally had agreed. “It’ll be fixed, so no harm, no foul.

“But if this _doesn’t_ work…Barry, _you_ should tell them. They might not want Team Flash to be the center of their lives, anymore. But they still _care_ about you, Barry. They still want to know what’s going on with you. You _know_ that!”

Barry did know that. But he also knew that they hadn’t reached out to him in months. He could have reached out to _them_ , it was true. It went both ways. But _they_ were the ones that had _left_. He respected they wanted out. He did. They’d given years and years of their lives to Barry’s cause. They deserved to settle into normal lives and not be bothered worrying about protecting the city every day. But a small, lonely, bitter part of him also resented it.

If this worked, if Barry felt more together and in control, he would feel better about calling them. Then it could just be a social call. Not Barry needing help. He was already getting more comfortable, with a new team behind him. If the team succeeded in curing Barry, having that news when introducing them to anyone else would only make it easier. Not that Barry really cared if his family and other friends accepted Len and his new team. They’d lost the right to judge Barry when they left, in his opinion. But it’d be easier if they didn’t protest, if they supported him, even from a distance. Barry _did_ still care about them, too.

Wally had never really interacted much with Captain Cold when Len was a full time criminal, so he’d accepted Len’s presence easily enough. Joe, Iris, Cisco, and Caitlin might feel different about it, if they knew. Temporarily working with a reformed criminal was one thing. Making him essentially Barry’s second in command was another. But again, they weren’t there, so they had no say, as far as Barry was concerned. Someday Barry would tell them. But he was in no hurry.

“Let’s just focus on making this work, for now.” Barry had answered Wally; not committing to anything.

Wally had frowned, clearly concerned, but hadn’t argued. That was yesterday.

This evening they were nearly ready to start, everyone knowing their roles. Though first Barry had to finish eating, to make sure he had enough strength. Heathcliff didn’t think the Negative Speed Force leaving Barry should be that exerting on him, but he still had advised Barry to load up on calories just in case. Eating at normal speed, while still needing such large amounts of food, was getting really annoying, no matter how good the food was.

The food _was_ good. Wally had sped over to Mick’s restaurant and gotten a big order for everyone. Mick had thrown in plenty of extra food, too. Barry tried not to be jealous. Soon, if things went well, Barry could run wherever he wanted for whatever little thing again, too.

Barry finished eating and everyone got set up. The three speedsters would be alone for this, in the warehouse they’d set up for training. That had been hard to get everyone to agree to.

Len, Rory, and Heathcliff had all wanted to be there in case they needed help. Hartley had been the only one happy to stay back without protest. But Barry refused to endanger anyone needlessly, in case this went badly. They could watch everything from the monitors they had set up in the neighboring warehouse, and be there within minutes if needed. Eventually they had all agreed, though Len scowled about it the most. It warmed Barry’s heart that Len cared about him, but it only made Barry more determined to keep Len out of needless danger.

Barry stood in the middle of the training warehouse and kept his eyes focused on the floor. It had been over a month since he’d last used his powers. That should have been plenty of time.

Wally and Jesse started speeding in circles around Barry, each running in the opposite direction, careful to not collide. Their runs were leisurely, for speedsters, so they wouldn’t create a vacuum where Barry stood. But it should hopefully still be enough to attract the Negative Speed Force since it had been so long since Barry had used his powers at all.

Barry felt the wind from their movement blowing his hair around, but refused to look up. Barry resolutely kept his eyes on the floor, to not accidentally use his speed to track their movement. Hopefully, it wouldn’t take long for the Negative Speed Force to be attracted to the more active speedsters and free itself from Barry’s stationary form. Both Wally and Jesse carried the traps and should be able to catch the Negative Speed Force before it infected them.

Barry felt restless. He knew this might happen. He was itching to use his speed. It was what the Negative Speed Force wanted. _Anything_ , it seemed to say. Just tap your foot, just twitch your fingers, just do _something_ at super speed! But Barry resolutely stayed perfectly still. He forced his breathing to remain normal; he made sure he didn’t even blink fast. And then he felt it.

Barry flinched as the first jolt of lightning left him. It wasn’t like the discharge when he ran. It was more like something was being drained out of him, violently. He grit his teeth and resolutely stayed as still as he could, but he couldn’t help shaking as the black bolts tore out of him and toward Wally and Jesse.

\-----------------------------

Len had his thumb near his mouth, but he refused to bite his nail. He’d had that habit beaten out of him, literally, as a child. No outward signs of weakness allowed. No visible nerves. Nothing to give away he cared. If he showed he cared about something, chances were that something would be taken away from him. He’d watched while his father destroyed toy after toy, just because it was obvious it was Len’s favorite. He knew that wouldn’t happen here. He knew the team wasn’t even paying attention to him, but watching the speedsters on the monitors. But it was an ingrained habit Len couldn’t break.

He shifted his hand to fiddle with his cold gun holstered to his thigh. He was cold as ice, when anyone might be watching. That was how he survived. That was his default instinct, still. To show his real emotions, especially under stress, that took deep trust.

He trusted this team, to a certain extent. But not entirely. Not like the select few that he truly would give everything for, from his emotions to his life. Not like Mick, and Lisa, and the kids. Not like…Barry.

Barry, who was currently shaking and winching as the Negative Speed Force came off of him in lightning charged waves, as Len watched on the monitors. Heathcliff had said this wouldn’t likely hurt Barry. But he hadn’t really been sure. There was no way to be sure. At least Barry wasn’t screaming in pain, or yelling for help. That had to mean it wasn’t that bad for him, right? Len hoped so.

Len wanted to _do_ something! That was the worst part; to have to just stand there and watch. But interrupting now, before it was done, would be pointless. They’d just have to try again, if he did that. They had to see this through, unless there was a real obvious danger to Barry or the other speedsters.

Len’s focus was on Barry and gauging his condition. But he did take enough note of what else was happening to keep track. The dark lightning left Barry and sped after Wally and Jesse. They were moving too quickly for Len to follow their actions. But the plan was for each of the speedsters to intercept the part of the Negative Speed Force that was trailing the other before it caught them, and draw it into the traps instead. That was why they’d been running in circles in opposite directions. Timing was key. It helped that those two knew each other so well, and had been working together in tandem for a long time.

Barry fell to his knees, panting hard, as what appeared to be the last of the dark lightning left him. Len twitched, using all his self control to not run to Barry. A long few seconds passed, then the other two speedsters stopped. They were both holding closed traps and grinning. Lighting sparked from their bodies, but it wasn’t black, just the usual color of their powers. It appeared everything had gone according to plan. But Len knew appearances could be deceiving.

Barry stood up, seemingly having caught his breath. He told Wally and Jesse to leave the room so he could test his speed with them safely out of the way, in case it was still tainted by the Negative Speed Force. They nodded and left the room, soon joining Len and the others next door. Heathcliff stared at them for a few moments, then pronounced he couldn’t see any Negative energy in them, like he had in Barry when he was infected. But Len only glanced at them, his focus was still on Barry on the monitors.

Barry had started running, his form becoming the usual red blur thanks to his Flash suit. Behind him formed lightning in lovely shades of golden yellow. No black at all. No explosive discharge at all. Len let himself sigh in relief at the sight.

After a few circles around the open space in the training warehouse, Barry stopped. He looked at the camera and grinned widely. Lightning cackled around him, all yellow. His face, including his eyes, looked perfectly normal. He gave the camera a thumbs up, then sped off. Less than a second later, He was standing next to Len.

Barry seemed unable to stop grinning. His cowl was down and his hair was a windblown mess. He looked adorable and kissable. Len called on his self control to only let himself grin slightly back.

Len wanted to do more, _so_ much more! But public displays of affection still sent alarm bells ringing in his head. Even if it was just their team and Len knew they wouldn’t judge Len and Barry for their feelings. Len couldn’t just let go of his reservations. Not with people watching. Not with the way he’d grown up. Not in the _time_ he’d grown up. Not with someone that really mattered to him.

No matter how well he knew the world was overall a more tolerant place now. No matter how well he knew that not everyone was out to find Len’s weaknesses so they could exploit them. Len would still always be happier showing his tender side in private with just the people he trusted most. Just holding hands in public was a big step for Len. More than that would be difficult for him to get comfortable with. Maybe he could manage it in front of the team eventually. But he wasn’t there yet. If Barry initiated it, Len could go with it. But he wasn’t ready to be the one to take that leap in front of others.

Len hoped that wouldn’t be a problem for Barry. Barry was always so open with his emotions; Len hoped he could understand that Len couldn’t always be. The way Barry was looking at Len, Len had little doubt that his particular feelings toward the speedster were returned. Barry hadn’t taken his eyes off Len, despite the rest of their team being in the room.

“You look completely Negative Speed Force free to me!” Heathcliff announced. “Though we should run some tests, just to…”

Len never heard the rest of that sentence. Before the words left the doctor’s mouth, Barry had grabbed Len around his waist and was speeding the two of them away.

\---------------------------------

Barry was so happy, he couldn’t stand it! He was back! His powers were back! The Flash was back! And it was all thanks to Len! Well, the team too, of course. But they were there thanks to Len, too. It was all because of Len! This intelligent, insightful, gorgeous, _amazing_ man that had somehow decided to devote his time to Barry! Len could have done anything he wanted with his new life, anything! But he’d chosen to stay by Barry’s side and help him, no matter how screwed up Barry had been when Len found him! Barry just…just…

Barry couldn’t stand still anymore. He heard Heathcliff pronounce him Negative Speed Force free, and that was all he could wait for. He grabbed Len and just ran. He had no plan, no destination in mind, just knew he just wanted to be with this amazing man. He wanted to show Len his gratitude and how happy he was. He just wanted to celebrate, with Len. He just wanted to be alone, with Len.

Barry ran, his arms securely around Len, until he reached a quiet wooded area. He pushed Len up against a tree, but gently. Barry stopped, just long enough to look Len in the eyes. Len was smirking, his eyebrows raised in question, but not protesting the treatment at all. So Barry kissed him. He gave into his desire, stopped holding back, and kissed Len like he’d wanted to for weeks.

It took a few seconds, but Len got with the program fairly quickly. He kissed back, giving as good as he got, not letting Barry dominate the connection. Len got his hands into Barry’s hair and gently tugged. Barry’s thumbs hooked into Len’s belt loops, pulling their bodies closer together and pushing Len a little harder against the tree behind him. Their tongues clashed in their mouths, their teeth nipped at each other’s lips. Barry bit at Len’s neck. Barry felt Len’s hands move to his ass, cupping and squeezing through the red leather-like pants of the Flash suit. Barry couldn’t hold back the gasp at that contact.

He pulled back slightly to catch his breath, but grinned widely at Len to show how happy he still was. Len grinned widely back. Unlike the smirks he showed in public, this was a genuine smile on Len’s face, with a lot of fondness behind it. Barry couldn’t express how much seeing that directed at him meant to him.

“I know you’re a romantic and I’m not, exactly.” Len commented. “But I wouldn’t have guessed you’d go with this kind of symbolism for our first kiss.”

Len gestured to their surroundings with a tilt of his head, not taking his hands off Barry. Barry frowned in confusion, looking around. He blinked, not understanding, then it hit him. This was the same forest he’d taken Len to, to demand they make their deal about Len not killing, so long ago. Barry winced.

“Or…you just ran us here by accident.” Len countered, reading Barry’s expression accurately. “Don’t worry about it, Barry. It’s not a bad memory for me. I agreed to that deal because I was _happy_ to. It was a _challenge_ for me. And it meant I got to play with you more. _You_ were the challenge. You were the most interesting adversary I’d ever faced. I enjoyed our clashes even then, even when you left me alone in a forest miles from civilization, and I had to walk home all by my lonesome.

“Now, I get to be on your side, _by_ your side. This is an even more fun challenge. I wouldn’t change anything that brought us here, not even one night, if I could.

“I just hope being left alone in this forest won’t be how this night is ending, too.” Len teased.

Barry smiled and answered by kissing Len again.

“I’m never leaving you alone somewhere ever again.” Barry promised between kisses. “I’ll take you wherever you want. Hawaii. Paris. Tokyo. I can speed us to anywhere on earth. I can run over water long distance now. Wherever you want. Anywhere. Just the two of us. Just name it.”

“Alright…” The smirk Len gave Barry was absolutely filthy with promise. “How about…our apartment…your _bed_ …I don’t believe I’ve ever been _there_.”

That sounded like a much better plan that any of the places Barry had suggested, he admitted to himself. It also sent a delightful thrill of anticipation up Barry’s spine.

Barry kept his implied promise. So did Len.

Barry took Len to bed. Len took Barry apart.

Barry wasn’t exactly surprised by how amazing a sexual partner Len was, but that didn’t make it any less incredible to experience. Len was perceptive and methodical in most everything he did. Sex was no different. He seemed to know how to push Barry’s buttons even before Barry considered suggesting something.

Even with the perks of his powers, even when he was with someone that knew about them, Barry still usually found himself feeling somewhat awkward during sex. That wasn’t how it was with Len. Barry felt comfortable and relaxed with Len in a way he never had with any other partner. Maybe it was because they’d spent so much time together recently. Or maybe they just naturally fit together that way. Barry could get over enthusiastic, but Len didn’t let him rush. Barry could laugh at an inopportune moment, but Len just smirked back at him, never got annoyed.

And when Len hesitated, unsure about Barry seeing the scars littering his body, Barry reassured him without reserve. Len was absolutely beautiful, perfectly desirable, to Barry. Len knew him well enough to know Barry was telling the truth when he said it.

When they were finished and panting together in each other’s arms, content and sated, neither moved away from the other an inch. They shared lazy kisses and caresses, until they moved together to the shower. Afterward, they returned together to the bed. There was no question that Len would be spending that night, and hopefully every night thereafter, in bed with Barry.

The next morning over breakfast they talked, finally. Though they found there really wasn’t much that needed to be said. They were dating, officially and exclusively. It was what they both wanted and easily agreed upon.

They would tell the team, and Lisa and Mick. Barry would tell his other friends and family at some point, when he talked to them again. But he wasn’t sure when that would be. Len was alright with that. He didn’t push Barry to share with anyone any faster than naturally happened.

Moving to a bigger apartment together was on the ‘to do’ list. Though they both admitted they didn’t exactly _mind_ how close together they had to cuddle to fit on Barry’s small bed. So they would take their time there, too. They would find a place together that really worked for the both of them.

Sometime later they remembered to turn their comms back on and let their new team know they were _better_ than ok. The team was perceptive enough of how the two of them were together to not have worried, too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic isn’t over yet! I have more planned, particularly dealing with the thread tying Len and Barry together. But life has been pretty busy and stressful lately, so I’m not sure when I will get to it. But I hope you’ll look forward to it, even if it does take awhile!


	11. Chapter 11

The months that followed were unquestioningly the happiest of Len’s life. He felt fulfilled in a way he never had before, with Barry at his side and this team behind them, with Mick not far away and content in his own life, with Lisa safely settled with amazing children. It was not lacking in excitement or challenges. Threats to the city came and went, but Flash and his team prevailed.

Len worried about Barry, of course he did. But Len watched Barry’s back, either from their command center, or out in the field together. Barry worried about Len too, Len knew. That was just the way it was between two people that’d come to care deeply about each other. Their worries were comforted every night they spent in bed together. They were good together; Len and Barry, in both work and play. Maybe better than even the two of them had dared hope for.

Barry told his family and old friends about Len and they took it better than expected, too. They promised to come back to Central to visit, eventually. Though, neither Len nor Barry was holding their breath over that. Barry could have sped the two of them over to visit them, or taken a portal to the friends that’d relocated to other Earths. But he was in no hurry to do so, either. They’d moved on, and Barry was finally getting more comfortable with that. He was happy in Central, with his new team, and with Len. Barry didn’t hold back admitting that to Len; how grateful he was for the changes in his life that Len had helped spur along.

Len, for his part, tried to express to Barry how much being a part of this had given Len’s own life direction after his return. He tried to explain how lost he would have felt if Barry hadn’t so easily accepted him into his life. Len would never be as good as Barry at outright stating his feelings, but he thought that Barry understood enough of how Len felt.

Time passed and their relationship strengthened. Barry even introduced Len to the Justice League. Len found the group to be rather boring and far too self righteous for his tastes, truthfully. Except Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman was awesome.

The League rarely got together, except for worldwide threats, each member preferring to concentrate their efforts on their own area. But they did agree to let Len join on an as-needed basis for any future crisis, to his surprise. Len didn’t really care about their approval. But the way Barry beamed at Len, basking in his boyfriend’s recognition, made it worth it.

Barry sped the two of them to visit Lisa and her family often. Steven eyed them suspiciously at the frequency and ease of their visits a few times. But if he suspected anything, he didn’t say it. Barry gave Lisa permission to tell her husband his identity, if she wanted to. She likely would eventually, when she found the right moment. She did fully approve of Len’s relationship with Barry, though Len never doubted she would, seeing how good they were together.

Lisa and the kids visited Central one week, for a change. Len knew it was partly so Lisa could assuage her curiosity about the new Team Flash. Lisa got on particularly well with Serenity. The not-quite assassin had warmed to Len, eventually, but they were unlikely to ever be particularly close. But Len’s sister was a charmer, especially to people that she saw through immediately. Serenity’s tough act was a cover for an inner dork. She’d actually named herself after Sailor Moon and wore her hair similarly on purpose after the magic heroine. But she’d been teased and ostracized for it, as a child. Lisa put up a similar shield between herself and strangers, though for very different reasons.

The two of them and little Laci spent a girls night in, while Len and Barry took the boys to a hockey game. Barry had been nervous about it, at first. His hockey knowledge was still lacking, despite Len’s efforts to teach him. But his love for the kids was genuine and that came through strong. By the end of the evening, the kids started calling him ‘Uncle Barry’ without any prompting from anyone. Len might have gotten a tiny bit teary eyed at that, but he covered it up well. Barry, not so much. Len ended up with a hockey jersey with tear stains on the shoulder, and couldn’t care less.

Len loved his life with a passion he’d never had before the Oculus. He was happy. Some might say softened. But those people didn’t know him, not really. If anyone or anything tried to take this away from Len, any part of it, they would get a very unpleasant introduction to the ice cold bastard that Len still had buried deep inside himself.

\-----------------------

It started as a normal case; not even a particularly threatening one. Barry was out as the Flash dealing with it, with Beth and other CCPD members on the way. The rest of Team Flash was hanging back at their base and monitoring the situation. But nothing they saw or heard made them expect to be needed as backup. Len was attentive, listening closely as he always did when Barry was out in the field. But he wasn’t noticing anything to be worried about.

Len berated himself for that later. He was the tactical mind of this team. He should have been considering all possibilities. He was getting complacent; too comfortable after their recent record of easy victories. And Barry was the one in danger because of it.

The adversary was a scientist with a long sequence of recent thefts under his melt. They’d done background on him, finding he’d been fired from his job at Mercury Labs recently for his questionable ethics in experiments. His name was Terrance Tillman. Hartley had nicknamed him Terrance the Terrible. Hartley didn’t quite have Cisco’s flare for naming the villains.

Terrance seemed to be collecting supplies to continue his work. He had some useful gadgets that helped him evade the police. But nothing that they saw as a red flag to mark him particularly dangerous to the Flash.

They’d gotten cocky because he wasn’t a meta, Len admitted later. They expected Barry, with his powers and skills, to be able to easily bring him down. Len, of all people, should have known better. Just because he was a normal human didn’t mean he wasn’t plenty of a threat.

There were cameras in the area, so the team watched as Barry confronted the man. Len should have mentioned Terrance had a gas mask next to the large gun on his belt, as soon as he noticed it. Len should have advised Barry to back off as soon as Terrance put the mask on his face. But he didn’t, assuming that whatever he had planned Barry could speed to stop before it became dangerous.

“I wouldn’t try it.” Barry cautioned. “I’m faster than the wind. I’m not going to inhale anything you shoot at me. And if you endanger anyone nearby, I’m not going to go easy on you.”

“You think me stupid?” Terrance responded. “You think poison gas has to have an odor, or a color? You think I couldn’t develop a specific gas that targets metahumans, but not regular people like myself? You think I don’t have the foresight to fill this street with that gas in advance?”

Len felt his stomach drop as he absorbed what the man was saying. He yelled in the comms for Barry to speed away, but it was already too late.

“You _already_ inhaled it!” Terrance confirmed. “It should be taking effect any second now. This mask is just for our getaway!”

The comms were full of the horrible sound of Barry coughing, hacking desperately for breath. Len’s own breath stopped and then he started shouting over the line for Barry to get out of there. But there was no response, just more coughing. On the monitors, Barry was doubled over as he struggled to get a clear breath.

Terrance used the gun, and as Len had suspected by then, it shot out a thick smoke screen. Within seconds, the smoke was thick enough that it obscured their view of the street. They couldn’t see anything but the grey smog it left filling the area.

Then the sound of a loud thump that Len knew, with a feeling of dread, was Barry loosing consciousness and hitting the pavement.

Ragman and Serenity were already running out of the building without needing to be told to, on their way to the scene. Serenity had a motorcycle they’d take, but it wouldn’t be fast enough, Len knew. Len wished for a team member with teleportation, but pushed the desire aside as useless.

They had what they had. It should have been enough. It would have been, if they’d stationed Ragman and Serenity nearby the medical supply warehouse, where they knew Terrance had planned to hit. But they’d gotten lazy and they’d failed Barry.

Len watched the monitors as the street slowly cleared of smoke. It was empty, neither Terrance nor Barry anywhere in sight. Quick scans of the nearby streets showed nothing. Len’s stomach clenched in worry and self accusation. Barry had been taken, and it was Len’s fault for not being ready for this.

Len shoved his guilt down. It did him no good. All that mattered was getting Barry back. He’d berate himself for this later. If Barry got seriously hurt because of Len’s oversights…Len didn’t know what he would do. Nothing good, he knew that much.

\-----------------------------------------

A few hours later a letter was delivered to the CCPD addressed to Beth.

_By now I will have captured the Flash and have him secured at a hidden location. You will have seen how effective my poison gas is on his metahuman physiology. He will be kept in a room, with this gas pumped into his air supply periodically. Not enough to kill him quickly, but enough to keep him subdued and make escape impossible._

_I am not interested in your ‘superhero’ besides as a means to an end. I will leave him his secret identity and his life, if you and the rest of the CCPD, as well as Flash’s team and all other heroes, follow a simple set of instructions:_

_You will halt all attempts at stopping and/or capturing me for the time being. I am not unreasonable. A 48 hour time frame from when you receive this letter will be sufficient. I will commit several grand crimes in that time. Valuable things will be stolen, but no one will be hurt. You will allow me to do this with no interference._

_If this time frame passes and I have succeeded in getting what I want, I will turn off the gas to the Flash’s cell. Without the gas, in time, he will be able to recover and escape on his own._

_If I am captured, injured, or do not acquire the things I need, the gas will **not** be turned off. In time, I estimate 3-4 days from now, this will overcome the Flash and he will die. I will not reveal his location, regardless of what you do to me._

_This is not an unreasonable request. If allowed to proceed, I will hurt no one. If I am stopped, the city’s beloved hero dies. Please consider and act wisely._

_~Terrance T._

Beth sent Len and the rest of Team Flash a photo of the letter, before taking it to Captain Singh.

Len clenched his fists as he read it, and forced himself to remain still. A human thief going up against the Flash, promising to not kill anyone if he’s allowed to steal…it was sickeningly similar to how Len used to be. He wouldn’t have been above doing something like this plot, back when he’d first tangled with the Flash. Back before he knew _Barry_ , and saw the Flash as the person behind the cowl, not just a challenging obstacle to overcome. Len pushed down the guilt at what he used to be, along with the guilt that he’d let Barry get into this mess.

Now, that anyone had the audacity to do this to Barry filled Len with cold rage. He let himself feel that. That was useful, kept him thinking of solutions. He wanted to be out there combing the streets for Barry, but Serenity and Ragman were already doing that with no success. They had found nothing to go on anywhere they’d known to look for Terrance. Hartley was scowering all the cameras in the city, with no leads there either.

For now, all they could do was give in to Terrance’s demands; let him do what he wanted for the time being. Captain Singh thankfully agreed, once Beth showed him the letter. He knew what the Flash meant to this city, even if he’d never admitted to knowing just who the Flash was or who was on his team.

Len sent out word to every contact in Central they had, to keep a look out for anything suspicious. He was considering calling in the Justice League. A simple flyover by certain members might easily find the location. But they were off-world, dealing with some alien crisis and unreachable.

Still, Len and his team kept looking. Hopefully they would find Barry before they had to discover if Terrance was a man of his word or not.

\-------------------------------------

Len hated cops. Len really _hated_ cops. He’d learned to distrust them from a young age, thanks to his father. It’d turned into real hatred as he’d grown up and was met with example after example of how many saw him as subhuman, just because he broke some laws. He’d let go of some of that hate, slowly, thanks to good people like Barry, and Beth, and even somewhat Captain Singh. But this brought his hatred of cops back full force.

Singh had _said_ the cops would stay away from Terrance. He had _said_ they would agree to the demands. He had _said_ he understood how important the Flash was to this city and how much they owed him. But words were just words. Len knew that. And worth even less coming from a cop. Shame on him for forgetting, even for a moment, Len thought.

Len, Hartley, and Heathcliff were watching the video feeds from around the city as Ragman and Serenity continued to search the streets on foot. Beth was with the CCPD, giving them reports periodically on the cops holding up their end of the deal.

Len didn’t think Beth had known. He didn’t think his trust in her was misplaced. But he wasn’t entirely certain. She was still a cop, first.

It had been 32 hours since the letter had been dropped off at the CCPD. So far, Terrance had committed two robberies without incident. Len and the team had watched as he’d stolen various technical components from different engineering companies. Terrance had circumvented the security of the buildings easily and made out with what he wanted. The CCPD had not arrived, or even been called. Team Flash had not interfered. So far, so good, for the deal.

Each time, they’d tried to track Terrance afterward, hoping he’d lead them to Barry. Serenity and Ragman managed to tail him, and called in Len and Hartley to explore each place he’d been afterward. But each one had come up empty of Barry.

Len hadn’t really thought Terrance would be foolish enough to lead them to Barry. But he’d hoped, anyway. He’d hoped there would have been at least some clue for them to follow. But they were still coming up empty. Somewhere, Barry was being held and forced to breathe poisoned gas, and Len and the team were no closer to finding him. In the meantime, Terrance continued his crime spree.

Sadly, the third time was not the charm. Len watched on the monitors as Terrance made his way into another warehouse. This one was owned by a high-tech weapons manufacturer, Hartley reported. Heathcliff winced and Len scowled. More weapons in this man’s hands was certainly not a good thing. But once Barry was safe and recovered, they could get them back. They could call in more help if needed, once the League was back. But for now, they had to let this play out. Barry’s life depended on it.

Len shouldn’t have _let_ Barry’s life depend on it. He should have done things differently. He should have told Serenity and Ragman to grab Terrance as soon as he was in their sights, the deal be damned. Len could have made him talk, made him tell them where Barry was, morals be damned.

Len should not have let Barry’s life depend on _cops_ keeping their word. He knew better than that. Well, never again. But regrets and lessons relearned helped nothing now.

The CCPD showed up at the weapons warehouse. They surrounded Terrance. They demanded he surrender. He refused. He came out with a gun raised. It was only the smoke screen gun, for a getaway. But the cops didn’t hesitate, as soon as he lifted it up. The cops shot him dead.

It all happened so fast. Len heard his own heartbeat in his ears as the scene unfolded in seconds. There had been no time to call Beth. No time to tell her to remind Singh of the deal. No time to plead, or to beg, or to do anything. Serenity and Ragman had been a half a block away, tailing Terrance but keeping their distance. By the time they’d realized the cops had been there already, undercover and ready to spring, they rushed to the scene, but it was over before they got there.

Len hated cops. But in that moment, he hated himself even more. He had failed Barry, again.

\--------------------------------------

“You _promised_ , Captain!”

Beth’s voice came through the comms loud and clear, startling Len out of his momentary daze. She was shouting at Singh, and had turned her earpiece on so they could hear. She’d obviously heard what’d happened, already.

“You think I _knew_ about this?!” Singh snapped back. “You think I’d just sit in my office and do nothing while this went down, if I knew?!”

Beth was silent on her end, while Len and the other Flash members exchanged looks on theirs.

“I _didn’t_ know!” Singh insisted. “I’d _never_ just let a man like the Flash down like this! I _know_ what he’s done for this city! Believe me, I _know_!

“But the Mayor made the call. He didn’t go through me, because he knew I’d never agree. I’d resign first. So he picked the people from our force that he knew would listen to him, put together this squad, and decided to order them to pull the trigger at the first sign of provocation.

“I’m _sorry_ , Beth! I know you’re close to the Flash. But believe me, I care about him too! I had _no idea_ this was going to happen!”

“So what are you going to do about it?!” Beth yelled.

“What _can_ I do?! He’s the mayor! He was within his authority! If I challenge him now, and get suspended, who’s going to organize the search for Flash? Do you trust my replacement would make finding him a priority? Because I don’t.”

There was the sound of stomping, followed by a slammed door. Then Beth’s voice more quietly over the comms.

“I don’t know what to…I can come back to hq. We can figure something out. I never thought that…”

“No.” Len snapped. “Stay there. Search with the other cops. Keep us updated. We still need to know anything they find, and you’re still more reliable than what’s said on the police radios.”

Len said that to sting and he knew it hit its mark when Beth’s sharp inhale could be heard over the comms.

“Leonard, I’m sorry. I know how…”

“Your _sorry_ is of no use to me.” Len snarled. “ _Find_ him!”

Len violently smashed the button to turn off the comms. He let himself seethe for a few moments, then turned them back on. He instructed Serenity and Ragman to examine the weapons warehouse and see if they could find anything helpful there.

“I’m surprised you’re letting this go.” Hartley commented, cautiously.

“I’m not letting _any_ thing go. But we need the cops’ help to search. Singh isn’t wrong about that.” Len responded, his voice pure ice. “If we get Barry back in time, I’m sure he’ll convince me to forgive the CCPD. The mayor will never be reelected; I’ll see to that. But getting Barry back safe is all that can matter to me right now.

“If we don’t get Barry back…if Barry _dies_ because of this…because of a corrupt politician and idiot cops… well, you might want to consider relocating, because I will rain _pure hell_ down on this city, and I doubt I’ll care who ends up in the crossfire.”

Hartley swallowed hard, seeing how dead serious Len was. He inched a bit closer to Heathcliff and away from Len. Hartley knew, maybe better than the others, what Len was capable of. They were designing new cold based weapons together for Len. He had the prototypes of the first set of snowflake shaped throwing stars strapped to the inside of his parka, currently. Used correctly, they made small, intense blizzards around the target they impacted. Len could make more on his own, if he needed to.

Len had known Barry might die. He knew the way that Barry threw himself into helping people, always putting others first. Len knew that Barry might get killed in the line of duty, with Len helpless to prevent it. That would have been horrible enough, but at least he would have died a hero like he deserved.

But this…this was just _wrong_. Barry could _not_ die because the very people that he’d fought so hard to protect hadn’t considered him as important as technology, as _things_!! Barry could not die, choking and fading in a room somewhere, _alone_. Len would not _allow_ it!

“How long?”

Len directed the question at Heathcliff. Len already knew the answer, but he wanted the doctor to say it. Len turned the comms on again so everyone on the team heard.

“It’s been 33 hours since the CCPD got the letter. That gives us 15 hours until the 48 hour mark Terrance originally set as the time to safely turn off the gas. After that, we have one more day, maybe two, before Barry completely succumbs to the effects of the gas. If he was left with no access to water, we may have even less.”

\------------------------------

It took Len a shamefully long time to think of it. Time that Barry spent suffering. Len would have a lot to make up for, if Barry got through this. If Barry didn’t get through this…Len shoved that possibility down.

The search had not been going well. They had no leads. Terrance had left no clues and now he was dead and beyond providing any. The 48 hour mark passed. And then the 58th. They were no closer than when they’d begun.

Len hadn’t slept in over two days. None of the team had. It was a good team. Strong and loyal, even Beth, Len had to admit to himself. They’d proven themselves to him time and again in the hours that followed Terrance’s death, by staying focused and exploring every possibility together. But none of that would matter, if Barry died anyway.

Len had been sitting with his hands clenched in front of him, staring at nothing, trying to think, but his mind was blanking. He stared at his hands, thinking how useless they felt at that moment. He stared at the veins on his wrists, bulging out a little from lack of rest and nutrition. Blue veins, running up his arms like….

Len shot out of his chair suddenly with what must have looked like a maniacal smile on his face. Hartley jumped back, startled. Heathcliff looked at Len in concern.

“No strings on me!” Len said, giddy with new resolution.

“What?” Hartley asked, looking at Len as if he’d gone crazy.

“There are no strings on me!” Len repeated, grinning widely.

Len offered no explanation, hurried out of the room, and made a phone call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I made you wait so long for an update and then I give you a cliffhanger! But it was very nearly worse. I almost stopped after the time left was given, but decided to add the one more scene. 
> 
> The next chapter should be out fairly quickly, hopefully. It’s the last one and the ending is happy, as promised! Thanks so much for everyone waiting and reading!!


	12. Chapter 12

_Let me be your anchor in this storm._

_Let me tie myself to you,_

_So I can find you and bring you home,_

_In time._

Barry had never heard that poem before. He was sure of that. But he heard it now, in his head. He heard it in _Leonard’s_ voice. God, he loved Len’s _voice_! He loved _Len_ , so much!

Barry was in pain. A lot of pain. His chest and stomach hurt from coughing so much. His ribs were likely bruised, and he didn’t even want to consider the state of his lungs.

He was thirsty and hungry. He knew his increased metabolism was working overtime, trying to heal him from the repeated doses of poison gas that filled the room. But he’d been given no food or water. If he had no way to replenish his energy, he wasn’t sure how much good his healing powers could do. He wasn’t dead yet, at least.

He knew he was being held somewhere. He knew he needed to try and find a way out. But his head was pounding and spinning, and his vision was blurry. He kept going in and out of consciousness. He had no idea how long he’d been there. He had to struggle to hold onto a solid thought for more than a few moments.

It would be so easy to just lay there on the floor and sleep. Just give up. Hadn’t he done enough for this city? Hadn’t he been through enough pain already? Wasn’t it past time he was due a rest?

But he heard Len’s voice in his head again, repeating those words. Len was waiting for Barry. Len was looking for him, no doubt, worried for him. Len was _coming_ for him! Barry knew that suddenly, as sure as he knew anything. Len was on his way. Barry just needed to hold on for a little longer, for Len. Len would find him. Barry could wait. Barry could be strong a little longer, if it was for Len.

\-------------------------------

Serenity had insisted on driving. Len had wanted to, but admitted his lack of sleep plus concentration on following the thread might have caused him to ignore all traffic laws. So instead he snapped tense directions at her, which she did her best to follow. Len would have been polite about it, she’d done nothing wrong, but that was beyond him at the moment.

Len had gotten in touch with John quickly, and John had agreed to help just as quickly; finally something working in their favor. Len would worry about what he owed John for this favor later. Right now, he couldn’t care less. All he cared about was getting to Barry as quickly as possible. Now, thanks to John and still securely tied strings, made once again visible, he could.

Len had offered only the barest explanation to the team, and then most of them had all piled into the van together and set off to find Barry. Beth was still with the CCPD, and Hartley had stayed to hold down the base and keep an eye on everything from the monitors. That left Len, Serenity, Ragman, and Heathcliff to go after Barry together.

Following the thread tying him to Barry was distinctly different in the regular world, in a car; than it had been in the Time Stream, pulling himself along by a strong effort of will. It was a lot faster, but still a bit of a struggle.

The thread pointed straight from Len to Barry. It didn’t care if the straightest route followed no road and went straight through buildings and hills. They had to drive in the wrong direction several times, in order to get back around to the correct one. Going the wrong way hurt Len, in a way he was finding it difficult to hide. He winced and clenched his teeth each time they were forced to move further from Barry, rather than closer.

_Barry_ hurt, Len felt that now. Barry was in a lot of pain, and desperately longing for Len to find him. Len felt that all very distinctively now. It made Len a little bit crazed and desperate. It was really a good idea Serenity was driving.

Heathcliff was looking at him in concern, but Len could say nothing to reassure him. Len was grateful the doctor didn’t argue or ask for further explanation, at least. Len knew he was skeptical of magic. But the team was loyal to Len and followed his direction without too many questions. Len appreciated that.

“He’s not hallucinating from lack of sleep, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Ragman spoke up; reminding Len his powers were magic-based. “I can’t see the thread he’s following. But I can see _something_ has changed with him. Powerful magic is definitely at work here.”

“I’ll introduce you to John sometime, kid. I’m sure the two of you would have tons to talk about.” Len grit out.

\--------------------------------------

When they finally reached their destination, Len was fidgeting to get out before the car had even stopped. But he still had the presence of mind to put on a gas mask along with the rest of the team. He would be no good to Barry doubled over from coughing. Heathcliff was the only meta among them, but they weren’t about to trust Terrance’s word that the gas only worked on metas.

Len ran into the building, barely noting it was an abandoned apartment complex. He vaulted up the stairs, not even considering stopping to see if the elevator was still working. He knew he should be going slower, should be wary of traps. But he couldn’t manage that. He had to trust the team would watch his back.

All he could focus on was the thread, glowing intertwined red and blue strings, urging him on. He acutely felt Barry’s pain, his difficulty breathing, and his hazy desperation to hang on. He was close now, so close! Just a few more minutes, Barry!

Len made it to a door, knowing Barry was in the room behind, and tried the door. Locked, of course. Len tried to calm himself enough to pick the lock. Serenity joined him a moment later and promptly kicked the door down instead.

Len scrambled inside, a wave of cold rage hitting him at the sight. Barry was on the ground, shivering, soaked in sweat. His cowl was off, his hair plastered to his forehead. His breath was shallow. His lips were cracked and bleeding from dehydration. But he was alive.

To Len’s shock, Barry opened his eyes, looked straight at him, and reached for him. Len was crouched down next to Barry and holding his hands within seconds. The magic allowing Len to see their tied threads throbbed once, then faded out. It’d served its purpose and was gone. Len and Barry were back together.

Barry’s eyes were bloodshot, but he gave a faint smile to Len, then passed out in his arms.

If Terrance weren’t already dead, Len would have vowed to kill him. Though if Terrance weren’t dead, they might not be in this situation. Len pushed his jumped thoughts aside. He was possibly in more need of sleep than he’d realized.

Heathcliff knelt down next to them, putting a gas mask around Barry’s face. It had a small oxygen tank attached, pumping good clean air into Barry. The doctor quickly checked Barry over, and confirmed getting Barry out of there was the best course of action.

Ragman was the best qualified to carry Barry, as they were all exhausted and drained from days of searching. But Rory’s rags magic was still going strong and could easily enough lift Barry. Len refused to let go, though, so held Barry’s hand as the group made their way back to the van.

Len feel asleep on the ride home, still clutching Barry’s hand.

\--------------------------------------

Barry woke up in the medical section of their warehouse base. He’d been in and out of consciousness for awhile, possibly days by that point, he wasn’t sure. Heathcliff had said the gas had done a real number on Barry. But Len was always nearby, every time that Barry woke up.

At first, Len had slept in the bed next to the one Barry was in. Heathcliff had assured Barry Len was fine, just needed sleep, when Barry nearly panicked the first time at the sight. Lately, Len had been stationed in a chair right next to Barry every time that Barry woke up. This time was no different. Len smiled at him when he saw he was awake, and reached out and took his hand. Barry squeezed Len’s hand back in reassurance.

Barry hadn’t gotten to talk yet beyond a few words. Barry’s throat and lungs had still been sore, and trying to speak hurt. The doctor was insistent that Barry get his rest and not force it, and Len refused to let Barry disobey that.

But Len held Barry’s hands, told him everything was alright, explained the basics of what’d happened, and kissed his forehead often. Heathcliff insisted that Barry continue to receive oxygen via the mask, so kissing on the lips had been out of the question. But Barry hoped his expression showed Len how much he meant to Barry; how much it meant to Barry that he was back with Len. He tried to let his love shine through his eyes. From Len’s own expression, he seemed to get the message. He looked back at Barry with fond eyes and sweet smiles.

With Len next to him, and knowing the team was out there doing their jobs, Barry could rest easy and take the time he needed to heal. Every time he woke up, he felt a little better. He’d learned better than to take the oxygen mask off without permission, though. So he again mimed taking it off without actually touching it and raised his eyebrows in question at Len.

“Yes.” Len sighed, with a smile. “Heathcliff said you’ve made enough progress to take that off now, if you want. But if you start coughing, I am putting it back on you, regardless of what you say.”

Barry laughed a little, thankfully without coughing. He nodded in agreement and took of the mask, then sat up more in bed. Len watched him with a careful look. Barry knew Len had worried a lot.

“Ok. Good. That feels good.”

Barry took in big breaths, enjoying just having the mask off. He took a few moments to get his thoughts together. Len’s hand was still in his, Len’s thumb rubbing little circles against his wrist. Barry smiled down at their intertwined hands.

“The first thing I want to say is that none of this was your fault, Len.” Barry began. “I know you’re going to beat yourself up for it, regardless of what I say. But I’m still going to say it. We win as a team, we lose as a team. All of us underestimated Terrance. All of us equally share the blame.”

“And yet,” Len scowled, “you’re the only one that almost died for it.

“I can’t let that happen. Not to _you_. Not when I could have prevented it. I can do better. I am _going_ to do better.”

“Ok. I know you can. I know you will.” Barry agreed. “But not at the expense of _you,_ Leonard. I’m not letting you run yourself ragged, or drive yourself crazy, considering and preparing for _every_ thing that might happen. I am going to help you, and so is the rest of the team. If you expect me to listen when you tell me to rest, I expect the same of you when I tell you that you need to take a break. That’s the only way this works.”

Len’s scowl deepened, but he nodded. Barry sighed in relief. He gave Len’s hand a squeeze in support. Barry leaned forward, intending to kiss Len like he’d been denied since having that oxygen mask on.

“Wait.” Len held up a finger.

Barry froze, frowning, but he pulled back. Ok, now he was worried. But Len still held his hand with the hand he hadn’t used to make Barry pause. So Barry hoped this wasn’t anything too bad.

“There’s something I need to tell you.” Len began. “First, I don’t want anything between us to change, so you can get that worry right out of your head.”

Barry sighed in relief, and smiled. But he was still confused.

“I don’t think you’re going to want anything to change either, even after I tell you this.” Len continued. “But I still need to share it with you. I don’t want any secrets like this between us. And if it _does_ change how you feel, you can tell me. You know I’ll respect that, as much as…as much as it’ll hurt.”

Barry went back to frowning in concern. He held back any reassuring comment, knowing it would be meaningless before Len said whatever he had to say. Barry did squeeze Len’s hand again. Len gave a small smile in recognition of the gesture.

“I’ve already told you how I used our tied soul strings to find you, with John’s help.” Len began, as Barry nodded. “Afterward, I started thinking about how little I knew about that connection between us. I was taking John’s word for how it worked.

“Now, I trust John to a certain extent. I’m alive because of him, and I appreciate that. But he’s not always fully truthful. So I did some digging of my own into the subject. It took awhile to find reputable sources of information, but Rory helped. He did a lot of research on his own rags, and has access to a lot of magic related books.”

Barry nodded again, listening. It wasn’t something he would have thought to do himself. But he wasn’t surprised Len had decided to.

“As I’d suspected, John left out a few…details, about our bond.” Len went on. “Nothing bad, or harmful. At least, I don’t think it is. But John said it didn’t affect us since I got back. That’s not entirely true.

“There is a _pull_ there. Between people with tied soul strings, there is always a pull; a desire, a longing to be together. You didn’t feel it before, with me in the Time Stream, at least not consciously. It may have contributed some to your loneliness, when you were already lonely. But it didn’t _make_ you lonely, or make you miss me. I checked and double checked, and then hounded John until he admitted the truth, to be sure. I can show you all my research and you can talk to John, if you want to confirm any of this for yourself.

“Our strings _didn’t_ make us fall for each other. They don’t have that power. They didn’t make us attracted to each other. They didn’t manipulate our feelings toward one another.

“People have tied strings and are just close friends. Some even don’t get along. But they all _do_ have that pull between them, that longing to be together. Tied strings don’t force people to be together. They can stay apart, and be happy and healthy. But they will always feel that pull, like an itch in the back of their mind, like they’re missing something without that other person nearby.

“John didn’t want to admit this to us because…” Len paused, sighed, and rolled his eyes. “Because he was playing matchmaker.

“He didn’t know you yet, when I tied our strings together. But he did know me fairly well. Once he met you, he decided we’d be good together. So when I made it back, he decided leaving the strings tied would…help us gravitate toward each other.

“That was why when I first asked him if they could be untied; he made it a point to only agree to do it, if I agreed to an unappealing favor in return. He wasn’t forcing anything. But he was manipulating. We might have made all the same choices, even if the strings had been untied. But this made our staying near each other more likely.

“I did mention how…unhappy I was that John had lied. He agreed to not charge me anything for the spell to let me see our strings to find you. He rubbed in how I never would have been able to do that, if we’d gotten them untied before.”

Barry nodded and licked his lips while he considered it all. It was a lot to take in. Len gave him some time. Len didn’t let go of Barry’s hand, and Barry didn’t pull away.

“I don’t want anything to change either.” Barry affirmed. “I trust you and what you found. I don’t need any other confirmation. I know how I feel about you is real.

“I know you’d back off, if I decided this didn’t feel genuine to me. But it _does_ , Len! I don’t care if the strings drew us to be together initially once you were back. We chose to _stay_ together on our own, and made our relationship what we want it to be on our own. No magic dictated that.”

Len nodded, taking a breath in clear relief. Only once Len visibly relaxed, did Barry realize how tense Len had been.

“So…can I kiss you now?” Barry smirked.

“Absolutely, Barry.” Len returned the smirk.

Barry and Len proceeded to make up for missed time. They only unlocked their lips when Heathcliff came in to check on them, and reminded them Barry was overdue to eat some real food. If Barry milked his recovery a little to get Len to hand feed him, the doctor was long gone by then and never needed to know.

\-----------------------------------------------------

To Len’s surprise, Barry took a leave of absence from the CCPD following the ordeal with Terrance. Captain Singh was happy enough to agree. Even Barry realized Singh likely knew his secret identity at that point, but couldn’t say anything to maintain plausible deniability.

To Len’s further surprise, Barry suggested the two of them go on a trip away from Central for awhile. Barry didn’t have a destination in mind, but he wanted it to be just the two of them. Len agreed, though he eyed Barry suspiciously. The speedster was hiding _something_.

“I trust the team can handle things without us for awhile.” Barry said. “If not, they have a list of people they can call for help before us. I just…I need some time. I have for awhile. I’ve been doing this for years. I’m tired and it’s making me careless. For everyone’s sake, I can take some time off.

“I can take a month, maybe two. We can road trip, see some sights. Or we can find a fancy hotel and hold up together in a suite. I just need to get away for awhile…with you.”

Len had his suspicions. He hadn’t exactly hidden from Barry what he had planned for the mayor, and the cops that’d sided with him, to negate Terrance’s deal and sign the Flash’s death sentence. Barry hadn’t protested, but he had scowled about it. But it was no matter; with Hartley’s help Len could ruin all their careers just fine long distance. So Len smiled and was genuinely happy to agree to Barry’s plan.

\-------------------------------------------

They decided on a lazy road trip, with Len driving and frequent stops to stay at nicer hotels. They made it a bit of a game to see how many different states and hotel chains they could have sex in. It was a fine, fun time. But Len still suspected Barry wasn’t being entirely honest about his motivations behind the vacation. About three weeks after they’d left Central, Barry admitted to it.

“So…I thought about surprising you.” Barry began. “I was going to, for awhile. I was going to pretend it was just a coincidence we bump into John Constantine tomorrow evening. But I realized that wasn’t fair. I have to talk to you about this first, even though I’m fairly certain you’ll agree once you hear me out.”

For a few heartbreaking seconds Len thought Barry wanted their soul strings untied. There was no reason for that, besides Barry wanting to be away from Len; wanting to end this relationship.

But no, Barry wouldn’t do that. Barry wasn’t like that. If Barry wanted out, he would have been upfront about it. Barry would never even consider hiding something like that. He wouldn’t have led Len on for weeks, wouldn’t have kept up the pretense of a happy couple, if he had something like that planned.

Something of the hurt and fear most have shown on Len’s face before he reasoned it away. Barry had been on the other side of the small hotel room, but he suddenly speed to Len’s side on the bed. He took both of Len’s hands in his and gripped them tightly.

“Leonard, I _never_ want our strings untied! Ok? I’m sorry I said it like that. Of course you’d think that. I’m _so_ sorry! I love that we have this connection! That’s…that’s kind of what this is about…”

“Ok…” Len frowned, confused, but trusting Barry.

“I started doing my own research into tied soul strings.” Barry explained. “Not because I didn’t believe what you told me, but because what happened got me thinking. If it were the other way around…if you were missing and I couldn’t find you, and I couldn’t contact John in time….you know how often he’s hard to get a hold of. I wanted a way to be able to see our tied strings without needing him, or anyone else.”

Len’s eyes widened in surprise and he immediately chided himself for not thinking to look for that, too. He’d been distracted by the possibility, however unlikely, that Barry might want to end their relationship because of how the strings had drawn them together. Once Barry hadn’t, Len had moved his focus on to other subjects, like his revenge on the mayor and those cops. Len felt petty and a bit ashamed.

“Hey, it’s ok.” Barry reassured him, moving one of his hands to Len’s face and stroking his thumb across Len’s cheek. “I know your mind’s been elsewhere. Mine would have been too, if you’d been the one taken. If you think I’m above revenge, you’ve underestimated my dark side. If you…well, you would have thought of it eventually. It’s ok that I did, first.”

Len nodded and leaned into Barry’s touch. Barry continued to amaze him, with his insight and his acceptance. If there was any way to assure they’d be able to protect each other better, Len was all for it. Barry was right in assuming Len would happily go along with it. If Barry had found a way to let them see their connected strings without anyone else’s help, Len was all for it.

“So, John can do this then?” Len asked. “He can give us the ability to see our tied strings without others’ help?”

“It’s going to involve a ritual, with some pain.” Barry nodded. “And we’ll get tattoos, or runes that look like tattoos. They’ll run from our chests over our hearts, down our entire left arms. But it should work, even on me with my meta healing. When it’s over, we’ll have a chant that either of us can recite to make the thread between us visible. It’ll remain visible until we’re reunited and touch.”

“Sounds wonderful to me.” Len responded, sincerely.

He didn’t even have to ask what they’d owe John for this. Whatever it was, it’d be worth it.

\------------------------------------------------

The pain was more significant than Barry had expected. But he didn’t regret it. If he lost Len when he could have prevented it with this, the pain would have been so much worse. Besides, both Barry and Len were used to dealing with physical pain. And they were dealing with it together, for each other, which definitely made it easier to endure. And it was actually required they hold each other’s hand for it, too.

John was doing the tattooing on them himself. He used a hot instrument and the application involved inserting ink into the skin, and burning it at the same time. John hadn’t quite explained all the specifics of what he was doing. But Len and Barry were holding each other’s left hands and sitting across from each other, with their shirts off. A large runic circle was drawn on the floor under and around their chairs. Candles burned around the edge of the circle. John had chanted and burned a few small items before starting the tattoos.

John had started tattooing over Len’s heart and continued it across to Len’s left arm. He wove it all along Len’s arm and hand, and then when he got to where they were holding hands, he started tattooing on Barry’s hand. He was working his way up Barry’s arm, and would end at Barry’s heart.

The tattoos looked like red and blue intertwined strings coming together to form a strong thread, much like Len had described their bond looked when he could see it. Intermitted along the thread were small runic symbols every so often. It was beautiful and wonderfully symbolic, and also hurt like hell as it was getting done. Barry grit his teeth as John got to Barry’s elbow and continued up his arm. Barry had no idea how Len hadn’t made one noise of pain throughout his entire turn getting tattooed.

Barry shifted from watching John to look at Len. They made eye contact and smiled fondly at each other. They weren’t allowed to talk during the ritual. But Barry saw all he needed in Len’s eyes. He saw Len’s support, and confidence in Barry, and happiness at Barry wanting this with him. The tattooing still hurt. No reassurance could really numb the pain. But it was a nice reminder of why this was more than worth it.

\----------------------------------------------

When it was done and both Len and Barry had memorized the chant needed to see the strings, they both tested it. Len was easily satisfied once he saw the strings, since he was by then used to how it felt to be aware of them. He gripped Barry’s hand and ended the spell, becoming again unable to see the connection.

Barry took the test further, since it was newer for him. He sped away, then Len hid across town from where they’d been. Barry was able to easily follow their thread to Len’s new location. As soon as he saw him, Barry wrapped him a tight hug, ending the spell.

“Now, this is no parlor trick.” John cautioned them. “All magic has a price, and this puts a strain on both your bodies every time you use it. You do it once or twice a year, you’ll be fine. You do it every month….well, just _don’t_. If you’re losing each other that often, something else needs to change.”

The three of them went for a much deserved drink, after that. Barry had a little vile of speedster-level alcohol with him, which he put sparingly in his drink so he could get a buzz. Len knew he didn’t want to get actually drunk, and neither did Len. But it was nice to take the edge off a little.

The tattoos still ached, but John said that would fade in a few days. Len looked at what was visible on his hand, the red and blue lines threaded together running up from where they were hidden at his wrist under his shirt sleeve. The strings ran all the way up his ring finger, finally ending just before his fingernail.

John could have had them run up any finger, but Len and Barry had agreed to use their ring fingers. The ceremony was bit like a marriage, so they decided to take the symbolism the rest of the way.

Barry kept looking at the tattoos on his own hand, too. He kept bringing his hand to Len’s, touching their matching designs together. Nothing magical happened from this touch. But it still felt special.

“So…” Len broke the comfortable silence between the three of them. “What do we owe you for this?”

“Don’t worry about it, Leo.” John answered, surprising Len. “This world needs all the strong heroes it can get. And you two are both stronger with the other beside you.

“Though, of course if I ever need some help and call you, you better come. Not that I expect any less from hero-types.”

John was rubbing it in Len’s face that he was a ‘hero’ now. Len rolled his eyes, but Barry beamed proudly. Len supposed it wasn’t worth arguing about, even if he didn’t quite believe it about himself.

“I supposed I ought to call you Len, now.” John commented. “Leo is rather out of date. As much as I enjoyed it, you being a lion-like king of thieves and all. And it does belong to that _other_ -you, though on him it’s a bit more fluffy feeling.”

“Other me?” Len frowned.

“The one from the other Earth.” John waved his hand dismissively. “Nice enough bloke. But didn’t quite have the same _bite_ as you.”

“I didn’t know you met Leo.” Barry blinked. “The one from Earth X, right? I told you about him, Len.”

“Ah yes, I remember.” Len nodded.

“Was a bit disconcerting meeting him.” John elaborated. “I knew right away he wasn’t you, of course. He didn’t have my spell or tied soul strings. I knew you were still making your way back from the Time Stream at the time. So I had to pretend to have never seen the likes of you…or him…or you both…bloody confusing…before. So of course I flirted to cover it up. Sadly he didn’t take me up on the offer.”

Len snorted. Of course John flirted first and asked questions later. And Barry _had_ told Len about Leo from Earth X before. Len had purposely avoided thinking about it much. Alternative earths were too much like alternative timelines, and Len had spent too long in the Time Stream avoiding being lost in possibilities to be comfortable considering them now.

Other possibilities didn’t matter. What mattered was right in front of him. _His_ Barry, tied to _him_ by Len’s own soul strings woven with his. And now with physical proof on their skin, too.

Len smiled at Barry and Barry smiled back. They leaned in to kiss, ignoring how John rolled his eyes and took another swig of his drink. They both knew John wasn’t actually annoyed. He likely would have suggested a threesome, in fact, but he knew he had no chance. Len and Barry only had eyes for each other now.

\-------------------------------------------------

Barry sighed contentedly, leaning back in the big tub. The bathroom at the new apartment was huge and modern, as was the rest of the place. The water was the perfect temperature, almost hot enough to be painful but not quite. He felt his sore muscles begin to loosen as he soaked, the stress of the day melting away.

He’d talked to Iris and Joe earlier that day. They were both doing well, as were the rest of the family.

Cisco and Cindy were planning on portal-ing in to visit next month, and Hartley was working overtime at their base to make it as technologically impressive as possible in anticipation. Heathcliff was helping and taking Hartley’s competitive tendencies in stride.

Caitlin and Julian had invited them to visit them in England sometime. As had Wally and Jessie on Earth 2.

John visited every few months and was making headway slowly flirting with Rory over studying his rags.

Mick sent the team food at least once a week from his restaurant. They visited him there often, too.

 Beth had been promoted at the CCPD. Serenity was working up the courage to ask her out and might actually do it sometime this year.

Lisa and the kids had just left from their latest visit a few days before.

Life was good. Barry felt loved and supported. Barry dozed off for a moment, but stirred awake when the door to the bathroom opened.

Leonard walked in, dressed only in a light blue towel around his waist, his tattoos that mirrored Barry’s clearly visible. Barry grinned widely and Len grinned back.

“Found it.” Len smirked, holding up the new bottle of shampoo that’d gone missing. “I hope the water’s still hot enough.”

“If it isn’t, we’ll just have to heat it up.” Barry responded, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Len laughed, setting the bottle down near the tub and dropping the towel. He slid into the tub, sitting behind Barry, spreading his legs to wrap around Barry’s sides. Barry leaned back into him, sighing again, now truly content.

He felt Len’s heartbeat behind his own. Len reached around and took Barry’s left hand with his own, knowing how Barry loved to look at the matching tattoos that way; both touching along the lengths of their arms. They just sat together soaking in the wet heat for awhile.

Then Len picked up the shampoo bottle, squirted some shampoo into his hands, and began washing Barry’s hair. Barry didn’t hold back the pleased noises he felt as Len massaged his scalp. Barry was trying to get Len to let his hair grow out, so Barry could return the favor sometimes. But Len hadn’t given in yet. Barry did give Len plenty of shoulder massages, so that was nearly as good, he supposed.

When Len was done and Barry’s hair was rinsed off, Barry turned around in the tub and straddled Len’s waist. The tub was big enough for sex, but Barry wasn’t certain that was on the menu that day. Moving to their big bed and taking it more easily sounded more appealing. But they could start there, and Barry did, kissing and grinding a little against Len in the warm water.

Barry thought briefly back to a different tub in a different apartment, when he’d felt so alone and thought Len was nothing but a hallucination. But he pushed it aside. It was the past.

Len was real and there, and _Barry’s_ now. This was _their_ apartment. Team Flash was _their_ team. Len and Barry were tied together by their soul strings, and that thread would always lead them back together. And neither would have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic has reached the end. It’s my longest fic in a very long time. I’m proud of it and really want to thank everyone that’s been reading and supporting! 
> 
> I’m not sure what I’ll be writing next. I have ideas, but not sure which might draw me in to writing next. Or if something else will spark next instead. But this fandom has hold of me pretty hard, so it’ll likely involve Barry and Len at least!
> 
> My tumblr is [@slimysuckers](http://slimysuckers.tumblr.com/)


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